Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Beautifully Disfigured
Chapter 19
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Gerard woke up the next morning, with their bodies still pressed against each other. They were laying on the couch, their skin pressed close and damp with sweat. They had slept so close together that it was impossible to tell where one body ended and another started. It was perfect, and they couldn't ask for it to be any other way. They had slept on the couch, their legs a mess together, Frank protecting Gerard from falling off the side.
"Are you awake Frank?" Gerard asked quietly, trying to stop his body from moving so much. He didn't want to turn around and look at Frank in case he was asleep and the movement woke him up.
"Yeah, why?" Frank responded, the same hushed tone. Neither of them wanted to break the peacefulness of the situation. It's a situation that when you think about the person you share it with, you always feel happy. You always feel content. Gerard turned to face Frank now that he knew he was awake.
"Can we go back to my house today?" Gerard was smiling, and asking to leave the house - that never happened. Frank was a little smug at that fact; he in some way, and maybe not conventionally, had made Gerard more confident to leave the house. "I really want to go home."
"Why? I thought you like being here with me? I don't really like being on my own Gerard, please stay-"
"No!" Gerard giggled and interrupted, "I didn't mean to leave here permanently." Gerard thought for a second and changed his mind, "Well I did. I just meant, that you'd be with me. I don't like being in this house and knowing what they did to you here. So, I thought we could get a new house. Together. I don't think I could go back on my own after living here for this long."
"Of course," Frank beamed, "But I don't know how Mikey's going to feel about that."
"Mikey wanted you to die Frank," Gerard pointed out, but then remembered that Frank hadn't heard that before and felt a little rude. "You shouldn't care about him." There was a moment of silence as Gerard watched Frank looked dejected and hurt, but the look was happier than Frank had looked two days before when Gerard rejected him. Gerard didn't know how to feel about that.
"So, you'll take me home so I can show you something," Gerard tried to continue the conversation, "And then we'll look for somewhere new soon?"
"Sure." Frank thought about something then, and he was a little apprehensive about the answer, "We're only moving houses right? Not states or anything?" This new confident Gerard seemed almost spontaneous, like he could just suddenly turn and tell Frank that they were moving to Africa. Gerard giggled and nodded his confirmation, that yes, it would be houses and not states. Frank thought of another question he'd like to ask Gerard, but he decided to save it for later.
The pair then went their separate ways, to get dressed. Gerard put on his gloves, socks, and leather boots, along with jeans, a loose fitting t-shirt and a jacket. Frank matched this, which made Gerard feel less like he would be spotted out of a large group while outside. They met at the bottom of the stairs, just beside the door and Gerard breathed deeply, pushing the fear down his throat in a gulp. I'm confident. Gerard gripped the door handle, ready to leave, or at least make the experience go a lot faster. Please, let this end.
"Take your time, Gee." Frank placed his hand on top of Gerard's, stopping him from opening the door. "There's no rush okay?"
Gerard nodded, keeping his hand on the handle, and preparing himself. I'm beautiful. I have a boyfriend. He loves me. I'll be okay.
"O-okay," Gerard pushed down on the handle, "I'm ready."
Frank let his hand drop from the handle and took Gerard's free hand into his own, winding their gloved hands together. Frank could feel the webbed skin near Gerard's finger tips and he felt close to Gerard. He felt so close that he was able to feel Gerard's insecurities - not only knowing them and being aware of them, but be allowed to touch them. They walked to Frank's car, which okay he wasn't technically allowed to drive yet, but he didn't care. The drive was quiet, Gerard keeping his head down, higher than the first time he left his house, but still hung low so that other drivers and pedestrians couldn't see him.
Travelling down the familiar street, Gerard got his house key ready between his fingers, ready to end the experience. He was proud of himself in some ways. He hadn't cried and he hadn't wrapped his arms around himself and had a panic attack - even though he wanted to.
Soon they were in the house, their hands joined again and the door locked. Gerard released a breath that he didn't remember holding in and Frank squeezed his fingers in encouragement. "So, what did you want to show me?"
Gerard said nothing in reply, just simply lead Frank up the stairs and into the bedroom that nobody but Gerard had ever seen. The bedroom ceiling was painted black, and stars covered them, the bed was big, and covered in a matching black duvet. There were comics and CD's and clothes laying on the floor and the carpet was of course, black.
Frank looked around the room, and then spotted something. They were the cartoon characters that Gerard had mentioned. In the same order he had spoke them. Batman, Superman, Spider man, Wolverine, Iron Man and Hulk. All painted to look like they were smiling, and genuinely caring for whoever viewed them.
"Well I'm glad you're not laughing," Gerard pointed out, after he noticed Frank staring at the paintings. Frank wasn't laughing, because he didn't find the situation funny. In fact, he found it to be the opposite. These paintings knew Gerard's life. They knew how he felt a different ages and what he planned to do. No human should have to through that. Not even social outcasts - everyone deserves somebody to talk to.
"Like I said, batman and superman are big listeners," Gerard smiled, "I tell them everything." Gerard thought for a minute. "Well, told."
"Why are you showing me this now?" Frank asked, a genuine question he had wanted to ask since he found out that they were coming to Gerard's house.
"Because these paintings know my life better than anyone else," Gerard summarised, "But I don't want them to. I don't want them to be the people I talk to about everything any more. I want that person to be you."
"I would have done that regardless Gerard, I still don't understand." Though, Frank still felt a little giddy after Gerard had spoke.
"Well, I also wanted to apologise," Gerard looked saddened, almost ashamed. "I was rude when I said you didn't know enough about me. You don't know enough about me because I didn't give you a chance, and I'm so sorry. I'm going to make it up to you. Every day I'll tell you a random fact about me okay? But you have to do it too."
"Okay," Frank laughed. "I'll go first. Um. When I was six, I broke my arm because I fell over my dad's foot."
Gerard giggled, "Nice. Uh, my birthday is April 9th."
"Well, Gerard, I forgive you," Frank smiled. He was really going to enjoy living with Gerard, but a question still played on his mind, and he was too scared to ask it, in case the answer was something he didn't like.
A/N: Okay, so I had some issues with this chapter. First, I lacked motivation to write this out of my head. Second, when I wrote it down, it deleted itself. Third, I wanted to paint instead but I couldn't actually put this off any longer. So yeah, I hope you like it, because though it doesn't seem much and is pretty shitty, it took a lot of effort. Xox
P.S Frank's question, y'know the part where he wants to ask something but squishes it down? THAT IS IMPORTANT (Am I giving something away here? maybe I shouldn't do that I don't want to wreck the plot.. actually oh well.)
"Are you awake Frank?" Gerard asked quietly, trying to stop his body from moving so much. He didn't want to turn around and look at Frank in case he was asleep and the movement woke him up.
"Yeah, why?" Frank responded, the same hushed tone. Neither of them wanted to break the peacefulness of the situation. It's a situation that when you think about the person you share it with, you always feel happy. You always feel content. Gerard turned to face Frank now that he knew he was awake.
"Can we go back to my house today?" Gerard was smiling, and asking to leave the house - that never happened. Frank was a little smug at that fact; he in some way, and maybe not conventionally, had made Gerard more confident to leave the house. "I really want to go home."
"Why? I thought you like being here with me? I don't really like being on my own Gerard, please stay-"
"No!" Gerard giggled and interrupted, "I didn't mean to leave here permanently." Gerard thought for a second and changed his mind, "Well I did. I just meant, that you'd be with me. I don't like being in this house and knowing what they did to you here. So, I thought we could get a new house. Together. I don't think I could go back on my own after living here for this long."
"Of course," Frank beamed, "But I don't know how Mikey's going to feel about that."
"Mikey wanted you to die Frank," Gerard pointed out, but then remembered that Frank hadn't heard that before and felt a little rude. "You shouldn't care about him." There was a moment of silence as Gerard watched Frank looked dejected and hurt, but the look was happier than Frank had looked two days before when Gerard rejected him. Gerard didn't know how to feel about that.
"So, you'll take me home so I can show you something," Gerard tried to continue the conversation, "And then we'll look for somewhere new soon?"
"Sure." Frank thought about something then, and he was a little apprehensive about the answer, "We're only moving houses right? Not states or anything?" This new confident Gerard seemed almost spontaneous, like he could just suddenly turn and tell Frank that they were moving to Africa. Gerard giggled and nodded his confirmation, that yes, it would be houses and not states. Frank thought of another question he'd like to ask Gerard, but he decided to save it for later.
The pair then went their separate ways, to get dressed. Gerard put on his gloves, socks, and leather boots, along with jeans, a loose fitting t-shirt and a jacket. Frank matched this, which made Gerard feel less like he would be spotted out of a large group while outside. They met at the bottom of the stairs, just beside the door and Gerard breathed deeply, pushing the fear down his throat in a gulp. I'm confident. Gerard gripped the door handle, ready to leave, or at least make the experience go a lot faster. Please, let this end.
"Take your time, Gee." Frank placed his hand on top of Gerard's, stopping him from opening the door. "There's no rush okay?"
Gerard nodded, keeping his hand on the handle, and preparing himself. I'm beautiful. I have a boyfriend. He loves me. I'll be okay.
"O-okay," Gerard pushed down on the handle, "I'm ready."
Frank let his hand drop from the handle and took Gerard's free hand into his own, winding their gloved hands together. Frank could feel the webbed skin near Gerard's finger tips and he felt close to Gerard. He felt so close that he was able to feel Gerard's insecurities - not only knowing them and being aware of them, but be allowed to touch them. They walked to Frank's car, which okay he wasn't technically allowed to drive yet, but he didn't care. The drive was quiet, Gerard keeping his head down, higher than the first time he left his house, but still hung low so that other drivers and pedestrians couldn't see him.
Travelling down the familiar street, Gerard got his house key ready between his fingers, ready to end the experience. He was proud of himself in some ways. He hadn't cried and he hadn't wrapped his arms around himself and had a panic attack - even though he wanted to.
Soon they were in the house, their hands joined again and the door locked. Gerard released a breath that he didn't remember holding in and Frank squeezed his fingers in encouragement. "So, what did you want to show me?"
Gerard said nothing in reply, just simply lead Frank up the stairs and into the bedroom that nobody but Gerard had ever seen. The bedroom ceiling was painted black, and stars covered them, the bed was big, and covered in a matching black duvet. There were comics and CD's and clothes laying on the floor and the carpet was of course, black.
Frank looked around the room, and then spotted something. They were the cartoon characters that Gerard had mentioned. In the same order he had spoke them. Batman, Superman, Spider man, Wolverine, Iron Man and Hulk. All painted to look like they were smiling, and genuinely caring for whoever viewed them.
"Well I'm glad you're not laughing," Gerard pointed out, after he noticed Frank staring at the paintings. Frank wasn't laughing, because he didn't find the situation funny. In fact, he found it to be the opposite. These paintings knew Gerard's life. They knew how he felt a different ages and what he planned to do. No human should have to through that. Not even social outcasts - everyone deserves somebody to talk to.
"Like I said, batman and superman are big listeners," Gerard smiled, "I tell them everything." Gerard thought for a minute. "Well, told."
"Why are you showing me this now?" Frank asked, a genuine question he had wanted to ask since he found out that they were coming to Gerard's house.
"Because these paintings know my life better than anyone else," Gerard summarised, "But I don't want them to. I don't want them to be the people I talk to about everything any more. I want that person to be you."
"I would have done that regardless Gerard, I still don't understand." Though, Frank still felt a little giddy after Gerard had spoke.
"Well, I also wanted to apologise," Gerard looked saddened, almost ashamed. "I was rude when I said you didn't know enough about me. You don't know enough about me because I didn't give you a chance, and I'm so sorry. I'm going to make it up to you. Every day I'll tell you a random fact about me okay? But you have to do it too."
"Okay," Frank laughed. "I'll go first. Um. When I was six, I broke my arm because I fell over my dad's foot."
Gerard giggled, "Nice. Uh, my birthday is April 9th."
"Well, Gerard, I forgive you," Frank smiled. He was really going to enjoy living with Gerard, but a question still played on his mind, and he was too scared to ask it, in case the answer was something he didn't like.
A/N: Okay, so I had some issues with this chapter. First, I lacked motivation to write this out of my head. Second, when I wrote it down, it deleted itself. Third, I wanted to paint instead but I couldn't actually put this off any longer. So yeah, I hope you like it, because though it doesn't seem much and is pretty shitty, it took a lot of effort. Xox
P.S Frank's question, y'know the part where he wants to ask something but squishes it down? THAT IS IMPORTANT (Am I giving something away here? maybe I shouldn't do that I don't want to wreck the plot.. actually oh well.)
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