Categories > Original > Drama3 Reviews
For self harm awareness day.
It all started in Art,last year.We were doing card relief animals.I looked at everyone else's work,then at my own.I didn't like how mine looked,everyone else's looked much better.I saw a pair of blunt scissors,sat right in front of me.I heard a small voice in my head,saying things like:
Take away the pain
Just do it,you need this.
So,I did.I made a giant red mark on the back of my hand.Everyone saw it,and I burst into tears and ran out the classroom.
I relapsed again in the summer holidays,before year eight.It was because I thought my stepdad had shouted at me,because I wasn't playing with my cousins,or even moving.I ran upstairs,crying.I couldn't bear being shouted at,so I ran the sink up and tried to drown myself.I couldn't put my head in the bowl though,because my cousins were watching me and I didn't want them to see my lifeless body hanging from the sink.I saw sharp scissors beside me,grabbed them and ran to my room.My cousins followed close behind,and I got them out the room.I began making little scratches along my stomach,then my older sister burst into the room.She took away all sharp things from me and my room,and got me to tell my mum exactly what I did,and why.They compassioned with me.After a few days,I discovered MCR,and got into their song Famous Last Words.After a few more near relapses in that summer,I could say MCR helped me through my self harm.
Again,new years eve.Another relapse.I thought my laptop was getting taken away,and I didn't want that,because I'd never see any of you guys again.I tried to drown myself,but I saw my life flash before me,and I never drowned myself.I ran into my room,crying.I then remembered that one song,the one song that stops my tears.I put on Famous Last Words,and pushed my headphones right in.I shouted the lyrics,staring at my poster.I could feel the words soak in,and it was as if Gerard was singing them to me,like he was there comforting me.I promised,never again.Never again would I harm myself.
You all know my most recent relapse,and I won't explain that.It was very sad for all of us,and I don't want to think about it any longer.So,since today is self-harm awareness day,we all stand together.Weather you have self-harmed or not,or still do self harm,you need to find someone to talk to.To tell someone about what you are doing,or what happened to make you feel this way.Even me,I'm free to talk to any of you.
I know that everyone says 'My Chemical Romance saved my life',but for me they actually did.I know it's okay not to be okay,and it's okay to be messed up.Because,and as Gerard said.There are 5 dudes out there,who are just as messed up as us.
x-Stay Beautiful,Keep It Ugly-x