Hayden has some emotional problems, can Anthony help him get though them? *Trigger Warnings* and mentions of physical abuse.
Anthony and Hayden's love story
A tear slowly slipped down Hayden's face as he sniffled in sadness, he couldn't stand hiding it anymore. Hayden Woolfall was losing his mind! He couldn't take the fact that he was deeply in love with his best friend Anthony.
He was aware that he was in the school toilet room, alone and staring at the reflective mirror and wondering if Anthony had ever felt the same way that he did. He pulled up his burgandy blazer sleeves and revealed his cuts to the mirror, like his mirror was the only person he could trust with keeping this secret.
Hayden was aware of the fact that he harmed his own body to releave the emotional pain, he felt as if it distracted him from his own problems. Problems such as Anthony, his abusive parents and him being bullied day in day out, all of this was too much for him and he felt as if there was no other outlet than to pierce into his own flesh.
Hayden slowly reached into his pocket and revealed a sharp needle, the one thing which took away all what mattered and stared at his cuts, old and new for a minute or so before pressing the edge against his pale skin.
Then suddenly, all his problems were washed away. All of his feelings of anger, sorrow and dispair had disappeared as if by magic and right now he was slowly breathing in and out. As he pulled the needle away from his skin he witnessed the blood dripping from his forearms he reached into his pocket and grabbed a tissue, wiping the red substance away then all the feelings of torture came rushing back.
He almost jumped as he heard the startling alarm ring over and over again, he knew that it was time for English but luckily it was last period so he aware of the fact that he didn't have to suffer through the bullying of today for much longer. As he made his way up the stairs and around around to near his English classroom was he didn't see his bully Jacob pull his leg out so consequently he tripped over it, falling to the cold, hard and grey floor.
"You should look where you're going you little faggot" Jacob laughed as tears reformed in Hayden's sparkly eyes. What have I done to deserve this? Hayden thought to himself as he attempted to climb to his feet, only to be kicked down again by a horrid Jacob.
"You're a right pigeon" He heard Jacob's familiar voice tell him.
Hayden was crying even more now, this time he didn't even bother to try to get up because he knew for a fact that Jacob would once again push him back onto the floor.
Hayden was so sick of all the bullshit thrown at him, every single day he was called, hit and knocked around, he couldn't take it anymore.
"Fucking get off him you stupid prick" He heard a sweet and familiar voice call out, am I in heaven? Hayden asked himself through thoughts as he knew that the wonderful voice saving him belonged to the dear angel Anthony.
Jacob looked away from Hayden as he took a punch from a frustrated Anthony, causing Jacob to get a black eye. Before the fight could go any further both boys were pulled away from each other by the teachers known as Mr Bowyer and Miss Thompson, Hayden quickly scrambled onto his feet and fled towards the English classroom which he was supposed to be at around five minutes ago.
The lesson was long and boring, all Hayden could think about thoughout the lesson was how Anthony bravely saved him from being bullied any further from Jacob. It was like God had sent him, this felt like a miracle. He thought of Anthony's emerald green eyes and his fluttering eyelashes as he was unaware that he was scribbling little love-hearts in his English book, but just as he was thinking this there was a loud knock at the door.
His head stared as Mr Aspden entered the room, he knew that this meant that the middle-aged maths teacher was collecting people who were late this morning. The worst part was that he knew that he was late this morning.
"Rebecca, April and Hayden" Mr Aspden called out. "I believe that you owe the school a one hour late detention today".
Hayden sighed in annoyance and slowly grabbed his book, placed it in his school bag and ambled towards the door. Hayden made his way into the detention room, he was so sick and tired of life lately and it seemed like nothing he did ever went right. He felt as if all hope was lost until he saw the beautiful sight of a gorgeous Anthony sat at one table, he felt butterflies flutter in his stomach as he walked over to the chair next to Anthony, placed his bags under the table and sat down on the chair next to a wondeful Anthony.
"What are you in here for?" Hayden almost jumped as he heard Anthony whisper this to him.
"I was late, what about you?"
"I think you know" Anthony stated the obvious. Hayden's eyes slowly drifted from the table into Anthony's deep green eyes, by this time he was totally oblivious to what Anthony was softly whispering to him because he was too busy looking at his wonderous features.
After the detention had finished, Anthony and Hayden were swiftly jogging towards their homes. Hayden tried to keep his gaze away from Anthony's sweaty body as they kept on jogging along the street, he hoped to God that Anthony would feel the same way about him. He couldn't help but imagine Anthony's soft, pink lips pressed against his own, his steamy body on top of his and his hands slowly running through his soft, short hair.
They both slowed down as they reached a corner shop due to the fact that it was extremely hot and sunny, Anthony took his blazer off because the heat was making him sweat terribly. Hayden couldn't help but admire Anthony's slim figure, his woman-like arms and his slenderness.
"Jesus" Anthony sighed. "It's fucking boiling, why don't you take you're blazer off Hayden?"
"Cause I don't want to" I lied, it was very painfull of him to lie to his crush.
"You're mental" Anthony has just said what Hayden already knew, he couldn't let Anthony know that he hurt himself every day. He couldn't let his lovely best friend know that a needle had kissed his skin every single day of the week, he knew that Anthony would think that he was a freak if he ever found out.
Later on that day Hayden had returned to his horrible home, where he suffered regular beatings from his father. The father that was supposed to love him, to help him succeed in life but instead caused bruising to him.
"You're late!" He heard his angry father scream sternly as the angry man entered the room and grabbed Hayden by the collar.
"I-I was late and the teacher kept me behind a-and I-"
"I don't want to hear it you worthless cunt" His father's words went straight to Hayden's mind. "You were trouble from the moment you were born!"
The next day it was a peaceful saturday, Hayden awoke in pain. His body was covered in bruises, all apart from his face, the face which was covered in multiple tears of sorrow. He felt empty, worthless and hopeless inside his mind, he knew that things wouldn't ever get any better for himself and that Anthony probaby wasn't at all interested.
During midday, Hayden was told to go to the corner shop and buy some milk with his own money. His body ached with intense pain as he walked along into the mini-shop and before he could even enter the place he heard a feminine yet male voice call his name.
He turned around and was amazed that he was Anthony running towards him and giving him a hug, Hayden felt a sharp pain shoot though his body because Anthony was touching his bruises under his clothing.
"Are you okay?" He asked Hayden in his adorable feminine voice, and with a bit of concern.
"I'm okay" he lied to Anthony, it pained him to tell fibs to the boy he loved.
"Do you want to go and play COD on the XBOX at my house?"
"Okay" Hayden blurted out before Anthony could even finish his sentence, the fact that he had asked him to go to made him feel as if even more butterflies were fluttering around in his stomach. Hayden knew that his dad went to work at this time of the day and returned to the house at around six so he knew that he had plenty of time to hang around with Anthony, which made him feel relieved.
Later on that day, after the duo had finished playing COD, fighting battles, fighting against each other and of course Hayden let Anthony win Hayden had fallen asleep in the bed while Anthony was sprawled out accross the shiny wooden floor.
Then after an hour of snoozing, Anthony had awoken long before Hayden had. He sat there just watching Hayden's medium-sized chest rise and fall as he slept.
One arm was hanging off the bed, then Anthony had noticed something that he had never noticed before: The faded leftovers of where a needle had kissed his skin far too many times.
Hayden cuts himself...But why?
He had never ever seemed like the type. But then again people that are never really seem like they would, Anthony wondered what would bring Hayden to harm himself again and again.
For a couple of minutes Anthony considered waking Hayden up and confronting him, but he decides not to. He doesn't want to bombard Hayden with all of these questions, at least not right now anyway so he decides to leave a note telling him to meet him at the park in half an hour.
Soon after, Hayden pulls himself out of Anthony's soft, warm and confortable bed at around half four, read the note which Anthony had left for him and decided to meet him at the park.
He slowly left the house and began to walks off to the park, that one park which they had spent so much time together in the past over the one year they had been best friends. Hayden wondered out of all the places he wanted to meet him it had to be Queens park.
After five minutes of wandering around, trying to spot Anthony but instead only spotting people who look mildly like him, he finally spotted him balancing on top of one of the benches hear the fountain.
"You're going to harm yourself balancing on those icey benches"
"Why would you care if I hurt myself" those words had just hit Hayden like a knife had just been violantly thrown at him.
Hayden was shocked by Anthony's unusually raspy tone "Well obviously I care because you're my best friend for life, that's why silly"
"That's exactly why I care about you not hurting yourself either"
"What do you mean? I would never do stupid shit like th-"
"Then why do you cut Hayden?" Anthony rudely interrupted a frightened Hayden, but for the greater good of Hayden's mental state.
Hayden couldn't find words to explain anything, so he says nothing.
"Well I'm waiting!"
"I don't fucking know! Okay?"
"How could you not know why you cut your own flesh?" Anthony's tone became even angrier, Hayden really wanted to tell him about everything but he also knew that doing this would also cause a lot of unwanted problems.
This time Hayden doesn't answer. His deep eyes threaten tears, and he closes them in a huge effort to suffocate them. He refuses to let himself cry, only the weak cry.
Anthony senses a miserable Hayden on the verge of breaking so he hugs him in an attempt to hold his best friend together
"Please Hayden, just tell me" Anthony hugs him even tighter, a rush of guilt filled Hayden's body as if someone had just drugged him. His feelings were powerful, yet so incredibly painful.
"I use cutting as a distraction" Hayden finally confessed to the now-sympathetic Anthony. "I'm so confused about everything, but I know for a fact that I really do love you Anthony"
Anthony stared at Hayden in shock for a moment, he now understood why Hayden had been acting so wierd lately. Why he tried to avoid him at school sometimes and why he acted like a little school-girl when they were around each other.
"So I know this is going to sound wierd but...Do you do it because of me?" Anthony asked inquizitively, now Anthony felt like the guilty one.
Hayden could no longer stop the leaking tears, it literally killed him to fall apart infront of Anthony.
"No" He lied to Anthony. "And I don't hate Leah at all, I just feel as if she's going to hurt you" Hayden confessed, this time he was telling the truth but not the whole truth. Anthony noticed that Hayden was acting like it was completely normal to fall in love with your best friend of the same sex.
Is Hayden gay? Anthony asked himself in his mind, he then spent the next few seconds fighting what he felt towards Hayden. He'd never questioned his sexuality like this before. Hayden was pretty attractive though, he had to admit.
He had defined facial features and those sparkling eyes, the eys which were currently plagued by sadness and made red from crying. It pained Anthony to see him in this way.
Suddenly, the vision of Hayden's lips locked against his came into his mind, for a moment he thought about what it would be like to kiss him passionately. Then he took that absurd thought away, only to have it replaced by his mind mentally undressing Hayden.
"I really don't know what to say, think or feel about this" Anthony finally admitted, breaking the awkward silence which had filled the area.
"That makes two of us"
"I really don't want all of this to change the way you think about me" Hayden muttered. "I really don't"
"It won't, I promise but I'd like you to promise me something Hayden"
"Please stop harming yourself" Anthony teared up, feeling as if he was the weak one.
At around ten minutes to six, Hayden had reached his empty home alone. His dad's car was gone and his room was spotless because he knew that if he messed it up then he'd have his treacherous father to deal with, Hayden tried as best as he could to prevent his dad from bruising his body. His dad never hit him in the face, Hayden presumed that he did this so no one would suspect anything so instead he hit his torso mainly.
That night Hayden broke his promise to Anthony, he had promised him to stop harming himself. But instead he lay shattered on the floor, curled up in the foetal position while pressing some tissue against his self-inflicted wound. Tears flooded his eyes like they did before, he didn't know what to do but then he heard a tapping at his window.
He got up and opened his bedroom curtains to see that Anthony had climbed the tree next to his house which stopped at his bedroom window like he had done once or twice before in the past, Hayden quickly opened his misty window to let Anthony in. He knew that he must be freezing in this icy weather.
"Jesus crist Anthony, what are you doing here?" Hayden asked full of concern, Anthony decided not to reply and just jumped into the bedroom and onto Hayden's bed before standing up again.
"I needed to see how you were doing" Anthony didn't want to admit his emotional and empathetic feelings towards Hayden, he knew that Hayden suffered through bullying almost every day so he couldn't really blame him for trying to find an outlet for his misery.
"I-I kind of broke my promise" Hayden admitted defeatedly, pulling up his sleeve and revealing the many cuts on his forearms. Anthony slowly breathed in and sighed, he wasn't disappointed...Just betrayed.
"I'd kill to share your pain, or just take some of it away" Anthony broke down in tears, hugging his best friend tightly. Anthony didn't know what to do, or what to say. All he wanted was for his best friend to stop doing this to himself, all he wanted was...Him.
As they both parted from the hug, they both gazed into each other's eyes for a moment. Anthony admired the shine in Hayden's eyes, as did Hayden with Anthony. They both wondered if it would be wrong to lean in for a kiss at the same time, until reaching the ultimate decision of whenever to do it or not.
Then their lips collided, passion entered both of their bodies as they proceeded in deep kissing. Anthony's hand moved from Hayden's back to his hair, moaning in sheer pleasure while Hayden's hands were firmly on Anthony's butt-cheeks.
After a minute of passionate kissing on the bed, Hayden's cuts caught Anthony's eyes. Anthony decided to part his lips away from Hayden's and start to kiss the scars, it felt to Hayden as if this was a cure for his inner-pain. Not long after this Anthony began to kiss down Hayden's jawline and eventually meet his tasty mouth, for both of them this was heaven and it felt as if nothing else mattered.
So the next day, Hayden had plucked up the courage to tell Anthony about the beatings which his father gave him, Anthony told him that he was proud of Hayden for telling him something so personal and frightening. When monday had come Anthony had convinced Hayden to tell the teacher what was happening to him, just before he did Anthony gave him a small peck on the lips.
Hayden knew that this was all going to work out in the end, all because of one person: Anthony.
A/N: If you are suffering from abuse, bullying or self-harm then please tell somebody, don't keep it bottled up inside. I hope you enjoyed! Review?