I feel that title is fitting.
You stay away from her it's not her time!
That is what Vic (listening to PTV, so ya know.) is basically telling my mind right now.
Telling my mind, to not let me kill myself this very second.
Why? Why do I want to kill myself?
I think, "What's the use in trying to fight? What's the use in living a life?"
I am broken, scarred.
Inside, I am broken and scarred inside.
Ash, I really need you to talk to one of us.
I have a confession, for all you readers.
I blame myself for all your problems, so you don't have to blame yourself.
If one of you goes into hospital, for failed suicide or whatever, it takes a hard-hit on me.
You all know that, like what happened with Mia.
I was broken, and as I was being repaired by the voices of my favourite bands, I wasn't entirely fixed. Now, I'm broken to bits again, and I am thinking, "What's so good about picking up the peices? What if I don't even want to?"
Now, guys, I am 22 days clean of self harm. On the 23rd March, when I heard the news, after I self harmed, I promised myself to never fucking do it again. But, that promise seems to be fading. I guess it's just my mind playing tricks on me.
Ash, I really need you to talk to me. Tell me you're okay, and well, and just don't ever think about that ever again, okay? You know I won't be able to fucking live with myself, if you go down with it.
Right. I'll just listen to my music. Reno. I need to just talk to you on Twitter or something I don't know. I need something to get my mind off of what is going on right now.
This is a wasteland, my only retreat.
With Heaven above you, there's hell over me.
You say "what about us?" well, what about me?
I hang from the gallows, asleep in the rain.
'Cuz this is a wasteland my only retreat.
Don't let me jump, don't let me fall.
Ash, don't let me fall.
None of you let me fall.