I feel this is needed.
I want to say personal thank yous to all you guys. I am 24 days clean from self-harm, and you guys did a little part in making me get this far without touching the blade. So, let's get this over with.
I'm starting with you, Ash. I remember, you were the first to talk to me, when I posted that note. You told me to email you, and I did. Best desicion I ever made. You made me laugh, and I love you for that. By that, I mean in a friend way, as I totally ship Sash for-like-ever. You reviewed every one of my fics and you are like my sister. I made myself a promise after that day, that if you ever thought of suicide or anything of those sorts, I would do everything, anything, in my power to stop you. Which is why I did my best when you tried to kill yourself two days ago. I love you Ash, you are like my sister, ya know?
Second, I am going over to Sam. Sam, you are the coolest girl ever, and you are like my other sister. I loved writing the Sash fics for you and Ash, as I knew how to please you two, (that sounded really fricken dirty but whatever..) and I'm glad I wrote them, as it brought the three of us closer together. You are the randomest chick, with the best fucking music taste in the entire fucking world, I have ever met, and that is an awesome asset. I'm being honest here, when I first joined this site, I was jealous of you. I was jealous, because I never thought I was gonna be great at fics and comedy like you were. But, I gave it a shot. You are my comedy idol, Sam.
Becca. I love you to fucking bits. I love the fact you love Dan and Phil, you got me into them, more into them, in a way. You got me into loving Sleeping With Sirens more than ever. You, Becca, are my bestest friend. When we were fighting, I was lonely, and lost, without you. Ha. Look at me, a girl who hates mushy love, loving (in a friend way..) one of the best chicks I have ever met before. You are my friend, my sister, and one of the coolest people ever.
Mia, my little chicky. I love you to bits too. My little kitty, I loves you. I love the fact you love SWS and PTV, did I get you into them? I probably did, maybe, maybe not. I remember when you were in the hospital, I fucking shook. All that happened, that led you being in that place, was because of me. I know you've forgiven me, but I can't get it out of my head. I'm sorry for what I did. I love you, my little ficwaddle sister. Never forget it.
Reno, you are my ghetto buddy. We've only known eachother for a couple of days, but, I love you like a sister and a best friend. I love our conversations on Twitter, true ghetto-ness there. I love your incredibly, fuckin' awesome music taste and randomness. I love the fact you love my fics, hearing that people love them is cool. You are an awesome friend and me loves you.
For the rest of you epic human beings. I love you to bits, you know who you are. You are my actual real friends, and I feel proud to actually call you friends. You helped me out of the darkest times, and you picked me up when I was down. You don't know how wide the smile on my face gets when I see you review one of my fics, it makes me feel like the fic is worth writing. I write my fics for two reasons and two reasons alone: 1. I know I love it. and 2. I know you'll love it too.
To the bands that saved me, I want to thank them too. They woke me up to a world I've never actually seen before. Before I got into bands, I wasn't happy with my life. I'd started self-harm, and I was lying to myself and others about who I really was. I tried to fit in, and be popular, but I realised, I didn't like being a popular kid, I was just happy spending time alone.
Now, I know who I am. Most girls go out on the weekends, normal kids hang with friends. Me? I'm happy on my own, with my music. It's me against the world, and armed with my laptop or paper and pens, I open up an entire new world, for both myself and others. My music, it may have screamers, or it may not be pop or rap music, like others listen to, but it's something I like. Through my love of bands, I've made friends, and some enemies, but, that's just a part of life. I am me, and I couldn't be any happier with who I am.
I won't forget that, this world has changed me..
Sometimes, I had to fall before I flew. I'm glad I did.