John walked into the apartment, bogged down with grocery bags, and looked oddly at his wife as he used the heel of his foot to push the door closed. She was seated in front of the coffee table, stacks of books spread out with brightly colored post-it notes sticking out from the pages. The stack of notes and five highlighters resided beside her hand and she tossed him an absentminded greeting as she peeled off a neon yellow one and marked another page.
"What are you doing?" He asked, walking into the kitchen and setting down all the bags.
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm studying."
She straightened up and said, "Oh I don't know, maybe the impending birth of our child?"
John grinned. "That's a lot of post-it notes you've got there."
"Well, there is a lot to mark. This is like the ultimate test, John. That stupid civics test doesn't even compare to this. We are bringing a person into the world." She became spooked by her own little speech and turned back to her books as she muttered, "I need to study." Her gaze returned to him for one moment and she added, "You need to study." Her eyes then returned to the book.
John chuckled softly to himself and sat beside his information-cramming wife. "Like I said before this is something you learn by trial Shayera."
She snorted and said, "I am not going to do trial and error with our kid."
"That's how most people do it."
"Don't give me that, most people read the baby books. That's why they exist," She argued, pointing at the piles of baby knowledge. "And they make the books for a reason, John. The reason is so that they can be read."
"Most people do not go through them with post-it notes and highlighters."
"And that is why so many diaper rashes happen!" Shayera enthused, using this as evidence for why her reading of the baby books was superior. He suppressed a grin as she continued. After all it was only two months ago when she claimed she didn't need a book to tell her how to be a mother. "If people read the baby books thoroughly they would know how to avoid diaper rashes."
"You watch their diet and make sure to change their diapers enough," He offered.
"Exactly," she said with a succinct nod. "And don't cover the diaper with plastic pants, which look ugly to begin with. See our baby is never going to get a diaper rash."
"I knew all of that without the baby book," He told her with a straight face.
"Doesn't count," she said immediately. "Your power ring has a database that can tell you anything."
He leaned down and kissed the top of her head before saying, "I got you that ice cream you wanted."
"Oh good," Shayera said earnestly, her attention pulled from the studying at the prospect of triple fudge cookie dough ice cream.
John grabbed the pint and a spoon, and then went back into the living room, handing them to her. She popped the top off happily and dug her spoon into the ice cream. She put a large spoonful into her mouth and closed her eyes almost reverently as she swallowed.
"If I could marry Bob and Terry, I so would," she said solemnly.
"You'd have to divorce me first," John reminded her, settling beside her on the couch.
"That could be arranged. Have Bruce give me Rachel's number."
He looked over at her and asked, "You'd leave me for Bob and Terry?"
"And a lifetime supply of this," she added, pointing at the pint. "In fact, I probably would have a lifetime supply of all the flavors. Now that would be a fruitful marriage. You won't even give me soda."
"Because it's not good for you," He then grinned. "You do realize that Bob and Terry don't actually exist, right Shay?"
"A minute detail," She dismissively waved off.
He shook his head and moved back into the kitchen to continue unpacking the groceries while Shayera continued her pre-birth studying, spoon in one hand and Bob and Terry's Triple Fudge Cookie Dough in the other.