Categories > Original > Humor

A Never-Was Writer Takes Off the Concrete Shoes

by SyraStrange 14 reviews

The title is a euphemism and this whole thing feels slightly narcissistic.

Category: Humor - Rating: PG - Genres:  - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2013-05-27 - 1519 words

0Unrated
your name is: Syra Cowl

and your username is: SyraStrange

you look like: "this":http://media.tumblr.com/fed00652dc21228f7654585180522697/tumblr_inline_mmx5exXciZ1rtwczs.jpg and sometimes even "this":http://24.media.tumblr.com/8040687445d0d5814d028291020212b4/tumblr_mk51choo9F1rbxxjto1_400.jpg

you sound like: "this":https://soundcloud.com/syra-cowl/syras-voice (wherein Frank is baking cake and the complications that arise from said incident and apparently I can’t pronounce the words “relevant” or “sorta” or even say “holy shit” without sounding like an ass)

you are a: female but you, my lovely friend, can file me as a potato.

and you are at the tender age of: fourteen years old going on forty (yeah, that covers it pretty well)

your relationship status is: Do you mean if I’m single? Oh yes. (I’m winking and you’re charmed, just go with it)

you are can be found in: a land where the girls are unforgettable (APPARENTLY)

the religion you practice is: M.I.A. but I guess I could count for a lapsed Catholic?


the optimal musicians & bands you listen to are (in no precise order):
My Chemical Romance (100% would not recommend pain and more pain)
blink182
LeATHERMOUTH
Fall Out Boy
Green Day
Amanda Palmer
Panic! At the Disco
Pencey Prep
Taking Back Sunday
Brand New
Weezer
Smashing Pumpkins
Pixies
Queen
Muse
The Black Keys
The White Stripes
Adele (guilty pleasure, shut up)
(rule of thumb says I’ll like anything for at least a second)


the movies you love are (you beautiful people should watch ALL of these):
Big Fish
Corpse Bride
Up (fucking Disney NOT EVEN THIRTY MINUTES AND I’M SOBBING)
Chocolate
Amelie (BEST BEST BEST)
Fried Green Tomatoes
Madagascar
Pink Floyd - The Wall (available on YouTube, but unless you’ve got some knowledge on Roger Waters’ life, you’ll be pretty fucking confused)
Life on the Murder Scene (weeps)
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Coraline
Coming to America
Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Howl’s Moving Castle
Beetlejuice
Benny and Joon
500 Days of Summer
Les Miserables
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
School of Rock
Suicide Room (look it up on YouTube also NOT A HAPPY MOVIE NO WARM FUZZIES)
Pitch Perfect
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
The Green Mile
Ratatouille
Chicken Little
Brokeback Mountain
Cats Don’t Dance (I don’t caaaare this movie was boss)
The Illusionist
Forest Gump
The Gods Must be Crazy (underrated as fuck, watch it)
Life of Pi
Shaun of the Dead
The Birdcage
Addams Family Values
Juno (Michael Cera and Ellen Page, hey hey)
Slumdog Millionaire
The Goonies
The Sound of Music
The Cable Guy
Strictly Ballroom
The Descendants (I cried like a baby, duuuude)
Shaolin Soccer (BEST)
Whip It
My Life in Ruins (I don’t know why, I just do??)
Flipped (the book was adorkable too)
(OKAY OKAY THAT’S IT FOR NOW, I PROMISE)


the shows you watch are:
Adventure Time
Gravity Falls
Supernatural
Courage the Cowardly Dog
Chowder (that was a GOOD show, why did it have to end??)
(sporadically) The Office
(sporadically) Spongebob
(sporadically) South Park
(sporadically) Family Guy
(sporadically) American Dad
(former) Teen Wolf
(really not that many)


the books you love are:
Romeow and Drooliet by Nina Laden
Uprising by Margret Peterson Haddix
Fruits Basket by Nasuki Takaya
Milkweed by Jerry Spinelli
Century by Sarah Singleton
Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech
Spider and the Fly by Mary Howitt, Tony DiTerlizzi
(I lost touch with books while spiraling downward, so any recommendations would be much appreciated)


angelic human beings who you place on a pedestal are:
Mom (a stubborn lady who will slap me out of a funk more times than I’ll care to count)
Allan (that guy who basically changed everything I’m about (in a good way) and should be my legal guardian)
Nia (my artsy fartsy little sister who holds me while I cry and makes sure I’m okay)
Yesi (a beautiful, lovely girl who deserves much more than she believes)
Angel (wherever you are now, I hope it’s better than where you were before)


the fandoms you’re in are for:
My Chemical Romance
Supernatural
(sporadically) Homestuck
(former, in pained detachment) Panic! At the Disco
(former, oh my god don’t look at me) Teen Wolf
(former, cos my friends ruined it for me) Death Note
(former, sue me) South Park
(for like two seconds, c’mon, GAY COWBOYS) Brokeback Mountain


you ship:
Frank Iero/Gerard Way(pain and sorrow, fucking otp)
Dean Winchester/Castiel
(former) Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie(when I’m feeling nostalgic)
(former) Derek Hales/Stiles Stilinski
(sporadically) Pete Wentz/Patrick Stump
(sporadically) John Egbert/Dave Strider
(sporadically) anyone in Homestuck/anyone in Homestuck
(I’m siding on “NO” concerning the OOCs, but I’ll give anything a chance if it's not in first person?)


the finest story you’ve written, in your personal opinion, is:

(lemme tell you a story…let’s say an already shitty laptop were to get infected with a nasty virus…and let’s say the girl who writes on said laptop doesn’t back up the FIVE YEARS of writing stored on Word and accidentally saved it on “TEMPLATES” and let’s also say the guys at Office Depot restored the shitty laptop to original factory status and completely wipeout the hardrive! Basically everything! What a stupid girl!)

Skittles and Cat Eyes
The chances are I’m not writing this again after losing the entirety of story, but it was a notfic wherein Gerard inexplicably turns into a cat and Frank is inexplicably his cat sitter and Pete Wentz is a gypsy and Bob is pissed but cool (as usual) and Gerard is actually haunted by a restless spirit named Caleb who masquerades as his conscience and meets a mental fabrication of a alterative version of himself, who names herself Ren. Basically the most crack one will ever put in a crackfic. Probably the fic I was the most notorious of. Yeah.


the poorest story you’ve written, in your personal opinion, is:

(oh my god hides face in shame )

Dirty Doesn’t Even Begin to Cover My Secrets ( "x":http://www.mibba.com/Stories/Read/462922/Dirty-Doesnt-Even-Begin-to-Cover-My-Secrets/ )
So…basically this terrible notfic of a story takes place in "this":http://www.scarvesandcoffee.net/viewstory.php?sid=548&warning=20 sort of universe (too weird to explain, so just ignore the actual story and read the story notes) but also mixed with the basic plot of "this":http://theopteryx.livejournal.com/30281.html story (a really really good story, by the way) and every band member you could think of. Gerard is supposed to be a “dominator vamp” but he’s actually all weak and pathetic (think basement!Gerard) and Frank is in WitSec and his name is Jack Antonio and there’s Pete/Mikey and Bob/Frank (if for like, two seconds) and Mikey/Ray and oh my god just read it and laugh at me if you want. A lot of people like it and I don’t think I do, and GAH I can’t bring myself to delete it because of GUILT.


the people you like are (in no specific order):
LaurenTheHuman
electricviolence
Mirazal
Atomickilljoy (I STILL OWE YOU A STORY I’M SO SORRY I’M GETTING TO IT)
(contrary to popular belief) upinflames
RyanCyanideKiller
HatedEyes
nerds_assemble
MyNomDePlume
MCR_punk
Scarlet13
-Ever_After-
BipolarUnicorn
CosmicZombie
LaurenTheHuman
xx_eddi_xx
ArgyleSockMonkey
MCRmilify
xXLaylaxX
ShadowSouls
Mikeys_Glasses


the optimal authors on this site for which you read are:
scarlett_fitch2027
GerardWayisSex
CatsCanFlyy
PartyPoison
ChloesGreenDay
Haze
unitedsuck007
AdnarimSmada
PartyPooperX
XxlovefrankieroxX
Shiwoggi
StormVandal
Sam_Speaks


your most loved stories are: found "here":http://ficwad.com/author/130913/favorites/stories and "here":http://ficwad.com/story/191489

sample of your writing, perchance?:


(fuck)


Sometimes, I realize I might not seem to have any form of empathy.

That is understandable. When you meet someone like me, or I should say if you meet someone like me, my physical and verbal language does not hold much passion or feeling. It often puts people off, and pushes them away from me. Despite what you may be thinking over, I do not feel lonely. I am rather glad no one has to stay stuck with my bluntness and lack of emotion. I am content with what simple and scant interactions I have with others.

And with that notion, I wonder how insane I actually am.

It could be possible that my genetic code has a mutation. Perhaps I was dropped into a puddle of biohazardous chemical waste. Those could be plausible causes for my psychopathic nature. Maybe I have seen something my feeble brain could not comprehend, and a case of post-traumatic stress disorder triggered this behavior. Still, I cannot help but speculate, even now.

I have never jumped from a second story window before.


(from my story “Look Up” which remains unfinished and can be found "here":http://www.wattpad.com/story/2861266-look-up )


any supplementary items you would like to add?:
tumblr: syrastrange.tumblr.com
email: poisonbatsbunnyhats@aol.com





Have an awesome day, lovelies.

-Syra
Sign up to rate and review this story