Categories > Original > Drama0 Reviews
Based off the Memphis May Fire song "Miles Away" (repost from my Wattpad account)
Folding yet another shirt, pushing it firmly down into my duffel bag I used primarily for touring; a pained sigh escaped my lips. Only a hand full of hours until I would be travelling miles, states, cities away from her. Her being my beautiful wife of a year as of yesterday.
"I hate to go, I'm so sorry...." I whispered, noticing her presence as she entered the room, most likely leaning against the door frame, arms crossed loosely across her chest, face filled with hidden sadness.
"It's fine; this is your dream! Think about it Wes...this is what you worked for, this is what you wanted to do since you where what? 12? 13? This is your life, and I married you knowing straight off what it consists of." She explained, in a soft tone. Feet padding softly against the cool wood below our feet as she made her way behind me, arms slipping around my hips, as she rested her forehead softly against my lower back, falling deathly quiet.
"The guys, they told me how every time we tour, saying goodbye and leaving would get easier each time." I whispered to the open air, slowly turning, pulling the woman of my dreams close, resting my chin on her hair; as she curled into my chest, leaning into my touch. "They lied; it only seems to get harder, knowing I'll be gone, how I won't be there for you." I took in a deep breath, knowing damn well I shouldn't be this emotional over leaving for a tour, which ironically made more people happy than sad.
"Really Wes? You haven't changed one bit since we where teens." She smiled, referring to my heartfelt little speech I had just made up. "I'll be fine, you know I will. This isn't the first tour you've preformed when we where together."
"Except, it's the first after the wedding." I mumbled, pulling her close, feeling my insides turn and knot up as she pressed her face into my chest; a sudden warmth wetting my shirt.
"I love you so much Tess, no matter what. No matter how far I am, no matter what city I'm in, no matter what happens. You're mine, the only woman I truly love. I won't say goodbye, because I am going to see you in only a couple of months. I'll see you soon, just stay strong for me alright hun?" I whispered, lightly pulling her chin up, so I could look into her clear green eyes.
"I guess I have to be huh?" She let on a small smile that broke through her tear stained face. "I love you too Wes." With this, I pressed my mouth softly against hers; this simple action bringing back various moments in time, I refused to forget. Although it started out as a simple romantic gesture, the kiss we where sharing deepened, pushing to the point of lustful, hungry. My body yearned for her touch, to get my share before I had to leave; except I knew if we went through with this, I would once again be at the point of wanting to stay more than ever.
Finally gaining enough will power, I pulled away slowly, refusing to meet her eyes; and face the pained expression they would show.
"If we kept going, I know for a fact that I wouldn't be going anywhere." I explained, a small laugh escaping my lips, as she pulled me close once again. Placing her lips softy against the skin of my cheek; whispering about how she would see me soon.
Not soon enough unfortunately.
A week had passed since the tour started, leaving only 7 and a half more to go.
7 and a half weeks of pure torture, loneliness, and a feeling that I should be at home, be there for her. Like I'm two people, forced into one body, the body of a strained man.
"You doing okay man?" Our rhythm guitarist, Matt walked in; sitting on the couch beside where I was flopped down.
"I guess, but dude. Touring makes you wonder, how are we supposed to keep this up?" I mumbled, forcing myself not to get too emotional; knowing damn well that the guys would never let me live it down if I got emotional around them.
"I wouldn't know; I get where youre coming from... But you have to think, although you're leaving your family for months at a time, you're also making thousands of people happy. Think, because of your music, your music, there are kids out there who've been saved from suicide, got into music, went for what they wanted, found peace. It may sound sappy, but it's true." The guitarist shrugged, attention focusing to whatever cartoon was playing on the television in the lounge.
With another sigh, I rubbed my face; wishing that I was stronger when it came to touring, wishing I wasn't such a soft heart for family, wishing that I could learn to fill any bit of sadness from leaving, with overwhelming happiness from the fans, the people who continuously support our band, the people who believe in us, look up to us.
Don't get me wrong though, I was so very thankful for everyone who supported us along the way, and still tell us how we can do it, the people who make our set happen, the people who buy tickets, shirts, various merchandise and are proud to say "I'm a fan". I love the places I get to see, the sights are amazing, it's unbelievable. Although this is what I've dreamed of doing my entire life; making music, touring the world, saving lives. It doesn't feel right, just knowing that my love; the woman I dreamed of marrying, isn't here to enjoy this with me; isn't at the shows giving me support (although she does give me ridiculous amounts of support in what I do, no matter what cost it may have). My dream isn't just the music, part of it was to live this life, but have the woman I love here experiencing it with me. This life is amazing, and her. Tessa, my true love is perfect; as cliche and sappy it sounds, we are perfect together; which is one of the hardest things to leave behind for tour. Knowing the person you love with your entire being won't be there to experience the second thing you love most with you.
The shows we played, in crowded venues, fans pushing to be at the front, trying to desperately to get backstage and "meet our idols!!" as they would put it. No matter how many people were around me, how large of a crowd we played for; I always had this feeling that I was alone, that something wasn't right. Until a phone call later, a surprise visit, even a skype call. They where only some of the things that kept me sane while on tour; knowing what I would be returning to. The person I'm doing this for, the one I'm personally playing my heart out to, the one who motivated me to go far with this. The one who gives me never ending support.
Although touring was hard, nearly impossible at times; for the thoughts that you're leaving your loved ones behind was a huge set back. It just made the shows more meaningful to you, the words of the fans more real, the dream you're living more exciting, more adrenaline pumping, more from the heart. As you know, somewhere; that there is that one person, or people who are watching, listening and are extremely proud of how far you got.