part 2 of 'save me (from my self destruction) gerard wakes up and hospital and realizes that someone does love him.
Frank sat in his room, trying to come to terms with what he had just witnessed. He couldn’t believe that his best friend was so broken, damaged and sick.
He jumped slightly – not realizing that he had dozed off – when the letterbox rattled. He groaned as he pulled himself from the warm comforts of his bed and went downstairs. When he got downstairs he quickly spotted the small envelope on the mat. He reached down and grabbed it, frowning slightly.
‘gerard?’ he questioned when he recognized the messy handwriting on the front.
He pulled it open quickly and unfolded the letter, sitting down to read it.
After a few minutes his facial expression had changed. His eyes were glassy and his bottom lip was shaking slightly.
he tore his eyes away from the letter and gulped down the lump that stuck in his throat. He stood up slowly wiping his eyes, cursing.
‘fuck!’ he shouted as he grabbed his coat and rushed out the house, not bothering to lock it, not sure if he even closed the door. His mind was racing. Where the fuck is he? He pulled out his phone and frantically dialed Gerards number, growling angrily when it went straight to voicemail. Frank stood still for a minute, just looking around. He almost wanted to scream his name, in vague hope that he would hear him. He rubbed his temples slightly, furrowing his brows before he snapped his head up, looking wide eyed, turning back around and sprinting. He spent a good 10 minutes running before he reached the field. He remembered when Gerard first showed him his hidey hole. He climbed over the gate clumsily taking steady strides, counting. When he finally reached the door he pulled it up quickly jumping down!
‘Gerard!’ he screamed as he collapsed beside his convulsing friend.
Frank sat by his bed, holding his hand and watching his chest rise and fall slowly. He’d been here for weeks. After having his stomach pumped and a blood transfusion, he’d slipped into a coma over night. It’s been exactly 15 days since Frank carried him the 2 mile walk to the hospital. He felt like the worst friend in the world. He should of known something was wrong, right?
Most nights Frank would sleep in the hospital. A lovely nurse called Gloria found him a camp bed, and set it up next to Gerards bed. Frank and her spent a while talking. She was quite short and chunky, with frizzy red hair and blue eyes. Frank actually missed her when she wasn’t working. She was the only company he had.
He barely slept at all. Every noise he heard he would jump awake and then wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep.
Those two weeks were the hardest 2 weeks he’d ever been through. Every day he wanted to cry. Every day he didn’t know if his best friend was going to die. It was torture.
Frank would sit by his side, holding his hand every day, all day.
It had been 18 days and 7 hours when Gerard started to come around. His hand twitched beneath franks, his eyelids flickered and his lips parted, releasing a soft whine. Frank leaned forward, watching him carefully. He felt almost scared. What if he was mad?
his eyes opened slowly and straight way looked at frank. He smiled weakly and groaned slightly.
Frank smiled, squeezing his hand slightly.
Gerard groaned weakly, ‘where am i?’
‘y-you’re in the hospital...’ frank told him looking down slightly.
Gerard looked back up. He almost looked disappointed that his attempt hadn’t work, which kinda hurt Frank.
Frank squeezed his friends hand.
'Gerard...why do you hurt yourself?'
Gerard took several minutes, taking time to think about his answer. It was hard to explain, but he gave it a go.
'It's like...I'm surrounded by people, I've got my mum and dad, mikey, you, everyone...b-but nobody really knows me...they all think I'm this amazing artist with a talent, a happy personality but I'm just...not.
I'm this little fucking suicidal kid..all I can think about is killing myself. I'm insignificant, I'm un-important...nobody will miss me..nobody ca-'
and with that Gerard was cut off. frank had jumped forward and crushed his lips against Gerards. He hesitated slightly, shocked, before he started to kiss back, moving his chapped lips in rhythm with Franks. When Frank finally pulled back, he sat back down silently and Gerard looked at him with wide eyes and an open mouth.
'I care! I would miss you! You are important, you're..fuck...you're so fucking amazing...you're my best friend, I've known you for so long and...fuck! Gerard I love you! I fucking love you, you asshole! You're gonna get better, you're gonna get better and I'm gonna help you...I promise..I'm not gonna leave your side, and I just...' he paused to sigh and rub his hands over his face.
'please Gee...just get better...for me?'
Gerards eyes were glassy, and he couldn't deny that he was shocked but flattered by Franks outburst. Gerard turned his hand over, squeezing Franks hand as he smiles weakly.
'o-okay.' He agreed.
Gerard sighed nervously as he stepped onto the scales. He kept his head up high as he waited for the beep. When the high-pitched noise finally came, he looked down slowly. His face stayed emotionless, but soon a huge grin spread across his face. The scales read '11st 4lbs'. He was ecstatic.
It has been 4 months since Gerard left the hospital. When he left, his weight was 9st 1lbs.
Although the weight gain doesn't seem like a lot, it was huge to Gerard and he bounced out of the bathroom screaming Franks name. Frank came running through, holding a frying pan and a spatula, looking flustered.
Gerard laughed slightly and told Frank of his weight gain, to which Frank told him he was proud, giving him an awkward hug before retreating back into his mothers spotless kitchen.
Gerard wandered into the kitchen, sitting down pulling his legs up.
'whatcha cookin?' He asked in a childish voice.
'Bacon.' He answered back.
Gerard raised his eyebrow with a confused look on his face.
'Aren't you a vegetarian?'
'Yes. You better fucking love me.'
Gerard giggled slightly, standing up and standing close to the younger boy. He placed his hands on Franks hips and kissed the nape of his neck softly.
'hmm...I do.' He mumbled slightly, sending a cold shiver through Franks body.
Frank turned around and put the bacon on Gerards plate. Gerard sat down again, eating enthusiastically, and actually enjoying it. After he had finished he started on the dishes.
Frank's mother had gone to New York to work for six months, which gave him free reighn of the house. It was exciting for both the boys, it was like they were living together. After Gerard completed the dishes he checked the time and gasped slightly
'Frank! I'm late for therapy!' He grabbed his coat and left a quick kiss on Franks lips as he darted out the door, into his car, and to therapy.
His therapist, Dr. McKensie, was sat in his office, practically tapping his non-existant watch when Gerard strolled in, nearly 30 minutes late.
He sat down at the desk and smiled at his therapist.
'So, any progress?'
Gerard smiles slightly. 'Well...I've gained weight. And I haven't cut since hospital.' He said proudly.
McKensie nodded approvingly.
'that's good...are you happy about this progress?'
Gerard stopped, and actually thought about the question he had been asked. Was he happy?
He looked down at himself, for the first time since he was younger he was wearing a short sleeved shirt, revealing his scars. People stared at him in the street, but he didn't care. He could remember when he was terrified of what people would think about him, he was scared of people judging him...but now?no...now he just didn't care.
He looked up and his therapist and smiled.
'Yeah, I've got everything I could ask for...I've got an amazing boyfriend, and a perfect life. I'm happier then I've ever been.'