Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > 'Cause Love Isn't About Affection, It's About Leadership
I pressed my ear to tightly to the old, wood-like material of the door. I tried to slow down my breathing as it felt like it alone was enough to prevent me from hearing what was going to happen. I wished and prayed for my former flawless hearing, but knew I had to settle with the inaffective, mediocre human ears.
My hot breath moistened the surface of the door and I could feel my cheek being slowly glued onto it. My legs started to protest as my half-crouched position wasn't the most comfortable you could think of, especially with every muscle in my body tensed up from both physical struggle to stay still and mental anticipation and fear.
I got the feeling that the men had stayed put wherever the front door was, not so far, but yet at a distance from this one. I waited for the footsteps, or words, sounds.. Anything, really, but they had decided to keep me waiting for a moment longer.
I cursed under my breath as I heard a nearly muted exchange of words and couldn't make out any of the words spoken. The hissing and the whispering sounded merely like a radio with a bad signal, in a room not close to this one.
My heart picked up its pace as I finally heard someone shuffle my way.
"A-are you there?" It was Frank. My heart felt like exploding.
"I'm here" I replied quickly.
"Right there on the other side of the door?" He specified.
"Yes" I breathed out.
"I'm not comfortable with doing this" Frank hissed, but the words weren't aimed at me, and they were followed by a quick hush from Gerard. "We gotta do this" He said.
My blood froze and boiled at the same time? Do what? What wasn't he comfortable with? I had a bad feeling I wasn't going to be comfortable with it either, seeing as though Frank seemed to have been siding with me since we got here, and Gerard no longer was a big fan of me and my former self. What they were saying didn't sound good at all and had that ominous ring to it. I glanced back and studied the tiny, rectangular window as I'd done a hundred times while being locked down in here and decided once again that no, there was no way in hell I was going to fit through that.
I was still staring at the window, trying to use every ounce of my willpower to extend its frames when the door swung open, and the last thing I saw before complete darkness was Gerard's hands quickly thrusting something towards my head, and from behind his shoulder, Frank's horrified, apologetic expression. I tried not to scream, but being caught off guard at the top of the stairs, blinded by something that was being held tightly around my head woke a feeling of panic in me, and I shrieked in surprise as a pair of strong arms grabbed me and started towards the staircase. I don't want to go back down, I don't want be carried back into that stuffy, claustrophobic old basement, I don't-
"Frank, grab the chair" Gerard's nervous, toneless voice ordered.
He dumped my rigid body on the chair and the next thing I knew my hands were being tied together behing my back while another pair of hands worked on my feet, tightning the rope around them and fastening it to the feet of the chair until I felt all blood unable to reach the vessles below my ankles.
A bag of some sort was placed on my head, leaving the blindfold underneath it. The darkness just got a shade darker, and I grew even more anxious as the memories of the total blackness of the night and the dream came back to me.
"Right. Okay." Gerard coughed, I was afraid of his nervousness, the unsecurity of his voice, the slight sound of regret that indicated that he didn't know what the hell he was doing, as if he was going to do something very stupid that he wasn't even sure of himself.
"Gerard, I don't like this." Frank repeated with a shaky voice "I really don't like this at all."
Oh god, what was going on? What exactly were they planning on? I thought of asking, but even though I hadn't been gagged, I felt like I had and forming words in my state of panic and fear felt like an absolute impossibility. A squeak escaped my lips, and with trembling lips I whispered the word "Please".
"We need to be sure, Frank. We agreed." He murmured.
Frank sighed in defeat as Gerard kept speaking.
"Can you hear me Avery? Can you breath alright? We don't wanna make you er.. uncomfortable or.. anything.."
I nodded, not sure if I could trust my voice. I almost felt like laughing when he stated he didn't want to make me uncomfortable, since I didn't know a better way to make one fucking uncomfortable than keeping her in a basement behind locked doors for god knows how long, then attacking her with a blindfold and tying her up and without uttering a word of what's going on. Sure, I wasn't the least bit uncomfortable!
"We're just going to perform a.. test. And uhm.. Frank here, is going to touch you and I will too, and we'll see what happens. You won't know which one of us touching you though, so you won't be able to fake it. We need to know if you're telling the truth about Frank somehow awakening this vampire shit in you, okay?"
I couldn't speak. I was momentarilly paralyzed, replaying the words I'd just heard and digesting them, trying to understand the meaning of them. They were going to test me?
By touching me? The thought struck me like jackhammer, and I could picture it perfectly in my mind. Gerard's touch wouldn't bother me, but Frank, he would touch me and in that precise second my body would break free of these binds, and if he continued to touch me, they'd both be dead. Hysterics called in late as I processed this, playing the scene over and over in my head while the men remained quite.
Then finally, it truly kicked in, and for the first time since being tied I tried my hands and legs and learned that they wouldn't move. I twisted my ankles and wrists to see if the rope would loosen up but there was no such luck. I tried to even out my breathing as I thought of what was to come and after declaring the ties tight as hell, I started screaming. I screamed my lungs out, I roared and shrieked and used all the force I had in me into screaming for as long as it lasted and my throat started to dry and burn. My body shook as I coughed violently, and I realized the men still remained silent.
"You can't" I grunted. My breathing wheezed after screaming so hard and the two tiny words oozed with despair.
"You can't" I repeated with a sob.
"We have to." Gerard whispered and I once more trashed and twisted my body in attempt to free on of my binded limbs or even brake the chair or basically anything, but declared it useless and let my body slouch down on the seat, trying to relax my burning, rigid muscles that ached under all the stress.
"Please, don't. You'll get hurt. You... It will be bad, please.. Don't do it." I begged silently, sobs rocking my tired body, showing that I'd given up. I wouldn't be able to fight the binds off, I wouldn't be able to escape. All that was left was begging, and I had a sinking feeling that none of it would be enough to prevent the horrid scene that played in my head.
The sickening images of what would happen tormented my brain, and even if all of us would get out of this madness alive, they'd stay there for as long as I would live.
The bag was removed and the blackness lit up a tone, for which I was grateful. The blindfold remained in place.
"I'm beggin you.." I cried hopelessly but got no answer.
My cries were interrupted by the sound of someone moving real close to me, and without seeing anything I could sense the closeness, the warmth of another body inches from mine.
I heard his breathing, and smelled his scent but didn't know which one of the men it was. I'd like to think that in another situation, at another time, I would be able to tell them apart. I would sense Frank. But not now, not like this when every movement caught my attention, every sound pierced through my eardrums and every single thing I felt was too much to handle, too real and too highlighted.
I held my breath, waiting for the inevitable. So soon I would feel skin touching mine and it would be all over.
A rough, calloused hand softly curled around my exposed neck and I embraced myself for what would take over, squeezing my eyes shut and begging forgiveness for what was about to happen.
But it never did. The fingers stroked my neck, my jaw and my decolté, but nothing happened.
So this must've been Gerard.
I was both relieved for nothing happening yet, but I knew better than to think it was all over now. I wasn't getting off that easy.
The hand was gone and I found myself missing the touch, the physical closeness that had been in am moment as terrifying as this, somehow comforting in all its softness and care.
My skin felt cold, and numb.
The I sensed it again, someone moving closer, circling the chair as if in indecision, moving further away and closing in again. A thumb suddenly stroked my cheek and I felt somehow abused, as if they kept with such innocent touches invading my privacy without ever asking, I felt a bit used and scared and wanted to push whoever was touching me away. The feeling was irrational, since there were quite a bit more acute things to worry about.
Such as fucking death.
But again, the thumb must've belonged to Gerard, and nothing happened.
Were they going to drag out this sick game for hours?
I don't think I could take much longer. I realized I'd been holding my breath in terror again, and let out a heavy sigh.
Out of nowhere, just when I'd let myself relax a bit, I felt a hand on my cheek and my mind went blank. Blood rushed into my head and down into my toes again, it raced through my veins at such speed I started to think that this would be the end of me. I hoped it would. I'd rather it would.
I clenched my fists, putting all the effort I had in my entire essence to trying to stop what I could feel was happening, but the hand stayed on my cheek and everything went from bad to worse each passing second. The rope around my wrists made a protesting sound and the hand jerked away a bit, but after a few words unregistered by me were exchanged, it remained there, trembling but unmoving.
"Please, please, please" I chanted, begging for the one last time before it would be too late.
I left my mouth open and stretched my jaw while breathing in the lovely scent of Frank. Of his blood. Of his flesh. My senses were sharp again, perfect in every angle, and while the monster in me knew exactly what she wanted, and what would happen next, the human in me kept holding on. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop it, not with his hand persistantly cupping my cheek, but I would be able to hold on for a bit longer, to procrastinate and maybe, just maybe, one of them would be smart enough to get Frank's hand the hell away from my face before I had to let go.
It was the best high anyone could imagine, the fume in my blood vessles made me feel alive to the point of never wanting this feeling to end, the intoxication human scent drove my mind into a frenzy. I didn't give a fuck about Frank. He was human. I needed to taste him. I wanted to shred him into chunks and consume every last bit of him.
One of the ropes squeaked and creaked and finally popped broken, making a snapping sound that seemed to catch everyone's attention. A wary, vague snarl escape my mouth.
My other leg was free.
I'd have been free of this goddamned chair five minutes ago unless the humanity was so fucking persistant, doing everything in its might to stop this. It wouldn't, though.
I delivered a swift kick on the chair with my heel and the whole thing crashed down to the side a bit. My body tilted to the left and the hand once again tried to pull away.
"Hold on" Gerard whispered.
I could feel another hand working on the blindfold, opening the knot and dropping the piece of fabric onto the floor. The brightness of the room blinded me, hurting my sensitive, overly accurate eyes. Lights weren't good for things like me.
Gerard stood in front of me and good god he smelled delicious.
I inhaled his scent, feeling every fiber of me crave his blood with such intensity I had never experienced before.
"God" He breathed out. "Her eyes." He stood there, frozen in place, shock covering his features.
"What?" Frank snapped "What is it?"
"Frank.. Take your h-"
His words were cut off by the sound of snapping ropes. I think Frank had now merely forgotten his hand on my cheek. Or he was unable to move. I hardly cared which.
I turned left, slowly, not wanting him to jerk his hand away, knowing this would stop.
I stared at my little prey, and noticed him staring back at me, with eyes wide open and mouth hanging, as if he refused to believe what he was seeing.
"Her eyes.. They - Something's wrong.." Gerard uttered.
I was going to grab Frank's arm, so that he wouldn't be able to pull away or break contact with my skin. And then, I would launch.
And I would do it.. now.
People. I need feedback. The story has been on a hiatus for numerous months, nearly a year, I think, and it will go right back unless someone motivates me to post. I'm not blackmailing anyone into reviewing shit, I'm just telling you how it is. I have practically no interest in the story. It's old. I wrote it long ago. Has over 70 chapter, I think. I just need to go through each one and edit and add shit and erase shit, cause I made the decision when I started posting it that I would be changing some things quite radically.
So unless I feel like someone out there wants there to be another chapter, there won't.
Simple as that.
Thank you for reading and thank you to those who have read the story before and taken the time to review. It means a lot, even if the story itself didn't matter much to me.
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