"Mh-hm, Jamia, yeah. Mustard me . . . right there. Best weenie ever." Frank muttered in his sleep. He rolled over and opened his eyes to see a blurry image of a pale man with smudged eyeliner snoring softly- where Jamia should've been. "What the fuck?! Gerard?" Gerard awoke to see his best friend's face mere inches away from his.
"AHHH!" he shrieked.
"AHHHHHHH!!" Frank screamed. He grabbed his favorite mushy pillow and raised it above his head, ready to strike. "Why are you in my bed and what have you done with my girlfriend?" he hissed.
"Relax," Gerard said nervously. "You said I could bunk with you, remember?" Frank shook his head. "Don't you remember last night? The party? Jamia leaving to go to her sister's? The Katy Perry cosplay?"
"No. . .?" Frank stared at Gerard as if he had grown two dicks. Gerard sighed.
"Your name is Frank and you're twenty-seven. You have immensely tiny balls. You're also a virg-" before Gerard could continue Frank whacked him on the back of his head.
"I remember that, moron! I meant last night."
"I was getting to that." Gerard shot his friend a look. "Point being, Jamia's gone for three days and I'm hanging with you."
"Can't you get another babysitter? Ray's mean with the diapers."
"Ha ha, no."
Frank sighed and got up. He scratched his ass and walked out of the room. "So what do we do 'till she gets back?" he called.
"Live like free men?" Gerard followed him to the bathroom as Frank pulled out some toothpaste.
"Forget I even asked. I meant- aww fuck! Shit, cunt, damn, Harry Style's nipples!" Frank cursed. "My parents are coming over to meet Jamia. I totally forgot."
"Well you're royally screwed up the ass."
"Thanks a lot." Frank scowled. "Seriously though, what the fuck do I do?"
"Dress up Mama as Jamia. Add some big titties and a shit ton of lipstick and you got her." Gerard grinned. Frank punched his arm.
"You're not helping. I have no idea what I'm gonna do and they're coming over in two hours!" he put his head in his hands. "I'm doomed." Frank moaned.
"Just tell em' you like cock. They'll understand. What would Jamia do?"
"What, not who." Gerard rolled his eyes.
"I didn't say who."
"So who is it?"
"Who do you mean did what?"
"Just shut up!" Gerard snapped.
"Your voice is surprisingly high. Hey. . . !" Frank smiled. "You could be Jamia!"
Gerard frowned, hurt. "I only wore my mom's thongs once."
"No, we could dress you up in her clothes and get a wig for you. You'd do this for me, right?" Frank gave Gerard his puppy dog face. "Please?"
"No!" Gerard shook his head furiously.
"You owe me though and this'd be perfect!"
"Oh come on!" Frank stamped his foot.
"Fiiiiiine." he relented.
"Okay, so we need a pair of fishnets, one vintage red dress, lipstick, a wig, and high heels. This is gonna be great!" Frank grinned.
This will be a two-part story, but only if there's feedback. I want to see if you guys like it, okay? Rate, review, read Fifty Shades of Gray for all I care. Just, like it? Review. Hate it? Gouge your eyes out.