Lazer Queen had finished her target session and her and Grace went back down to once again accompany the base with the four men. Lazer's new outfit gains the attention of three of the men, but Part...
- Hi there! New reader and I just caught up wih your story. First of all, I am so disappointed that you haven't got more reviews or rates. This story is such a refreshing break from the load of cliches. It's an extremely interesting idea and one of the only killjoy fics that's kept my interest for so long into the story. It's a very original story and I'm enjoying it very much. The grammar is mostly alright although there are a few mistakes here and there. The writing style is nice but it doesn't seem too natural and some characters and dialogue just seems a bit awkward. In some places, the spoken text is followed by the listener's reaction without space or leaving a paragraph which makes it slightly confusing to read. But otherwise, it's a riveting story with an extremely original idea that I enjoy very much. I only wish the chapters were longer!
Author's responseWell first of all thank you for your review. It makes me so happy to finally get some feedback and I much appreciate it. In your review you mention a few things that you think I could improve and you pointed out mistakes in my grammar. I'm very careful with my grammar as I am reasonably good with spelling and I write up my stories on Microsoft Word for the extra spell check just in case I get something wrong, so if you could point out those mistakes to me that would be very helpful. I was also wondering if you could email me and give me examples on how you think I can improve the subjects you pointed out, you don't have to but I would very much appreciate it if you did. If you do decide to email me my email address is email@example.com. Like I said, I would appreciate the favour.
BTW, the chapters do get longer as we go further into the story, this is mainly because I learnt a different style of writing about halfway into writing this story. I changed the earlier chapters as much as I could to fit into this new writing style but I did struggle to make the chapters longer. However, I really appreciate your praise and feedback and hope to get more in the future.
- Hey! I've sent you a detailed mail! Hope you find it useful!
Author's responseHi, I really wanna thank you for the email, it's nice for someone to finally give their opinion on what I can improve on rather than just praising. I do class myself as an amateur writer and this is one of my earlier stories (I will admit the others before this were really shit) but you can only get better with time. But thanks for the email and I'll take your points on board whilst improving this story (which I constantly do anyway) and when writing my others.