Gerard goes to visit Frank in hospital and let's just say that things don't go to plan...
[*Chapter 27: Can we create something beautiful and destroy it?
Once we arrived at the hospital my head instantly told me to run back in the opposite direction and never return. What was I even doing here anyway? Why was everything so messed up? Why did Frank have to get himself beat up? I know that it wasn't his fault, I trusted him enough...I ran a hand through my hair and when I had had enough of Mikey telling me to stop shaking and tapping my leg I stood and held a hand up to him to stay sat. We had been here long enough and it was driving me insane.
"I'll be back, promise." Was all I said before I escaped out of the waiting room and out of the hospital entirely. I could only feel guilty about this whole situation, somehow, for some reason I only thought that it was my fault. There was no particular reason for why I felt this way, I only knew that it was somehow my fault. Everything just felt so...Wrong. Incomplete. And......Empty.
Was that because Frank wasn't in my arms? Or was it because there was something inside of me that was wrong again? Before I had met Frank it was there and then Frank had made me forget about it...Now that it was back it was making me feel sick to the stomach.
I took out a packet of cigarettes that were still in my pocket from earlier on and I took out my lighter and lit one up, placing it to my lips and instantly taking in a long drag, trying to drown out anything that I was feeling. All of the pain and all of the hurt...I just wanted everything to stop...
I started to walk around aimlessly, walking near the way that me and Mikey had walked before only in the opposite direction and I finished my cigarette and thought that it was time to go back to the hospital and see if it was okay for us to see Frank. Due to the fact that my head was hung low and my eyes were glued to the ground, I didn't see who I bumped into but the next thing I knew I was on the floor, staring up at the sky, groaning in pain. Whoever it was had a hard punch that was for sure - my jaw started to ache and I placed a gentle hand to it, trying to get a look at who it was and whether I would be able to fight them off, of course I wasn't going to be able to, I mean look at me? I couldn't fight off a butterfly even if I tried.
They lifted me up by the jacket and pulled them close to their face and then was when I got a look at who it was. It was Billie. He used to be quite similar to me, before he got into the state that he was in now. We were into all the same things, but...Now he just took out his anger on random people.
"I already got your boyfriend, Way..." He spat at me angrily and my eyes widened. No. No way. He didn't hurt Frank did he? No, he's lying. "He's in the hospital now, right? That's just where you're going to end up..." He said almost at a whisper and threw me back to the ground again, I scurried away on the floor and went through hundreds of thoughts that may help me to get away. Come on, Gerard. Think!
I shoved a hand into my pocket and took out my lighter and at the touch of a button the bottom of his jeans lit up in flames and he stumbled backwards and cursed loudly, putting out the flames with his other foot. This gave me an opportunity to get up and sprint for my life. My head wasn't thinking straight so of course I didn't go back to the hospital where it was safe and where Mikey was, oh no. I decided to sprint for mine and Frank's dorm. It felt more safe even if it wasn't there.
"Get away from me!!" I screamed at Billie who was still running after me, we were around the same size so we were running at the same pace but he was obviously much more athletic than me. I just kept thinking about Frank, he wouldn't want me to end up in the same situation that he was in, even if he hated me, there must still be something inside of him that cares for me. There's got to be.
I never thought that I would make it. But I did. I slammed the door shut of the dorm room and swung the lock across, locking it with my keys too and pulling a chair over to it, not even breathing properly. He knew where I lived, he had come over last year or so because we did an Art project together. But I mean come on, why pick on me? What did I ever do to him? What the hell did Frank do to him!? Nothing!! ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING!! HE DID NOTHING!
I didn't realize that I had actually screamed that out loud until my voice hurt and I fell to the ground in the corner of the room, coughing and gasping for air. The next thing I knew everything was black and I couldn't remember the last thought that I had.
I hadn't seen anyone for days...
Was it three or four days that had passed now?
The last person that I had seen apart from the nurses was Gerard and that hadn't ended well. He couldn't possibly think that it was my fault that I ended up in hospital did he? I signed off my form that said that I could leave the hospital and took a deep breath before I started to walk back to mine and Gerard's dorm. I hoped that he would be there. I really...Really wanted him to be there. My heart was practically aching for me to be in his arms again. But why hadn't he come and seen me? Did he not feel for me anymore? Did he feel nothing?
I assumed that my questions would be answered when I got there so I knocked on the door hesitantly after waiting outside of it for ten minutes pacing. It did feel good to walk though, after being in a hospital bed for just over a week you felt like you could run a marathon. I knocked again a few minutes later when I got no answer, a little louder than before and the door slowly opened and it was Gerard who answered. His eyes were on the floor and they slowly made their way up my body and my eyes widened when I saw his face.
"Gerard!?" I shouted and stepped inside of the room, shutting the door behind me. His skin was practically grey and his eyes were almost all black. What was wrong with him? What had happened!? He stumbled backwards a little and I caught him just about and sat him down on the bed, cupping his face in my hands. "Gerard, it's me. It's Frank...Can you talk? Can you tell me what's wrong?" I pleaded desperately, just about holding back the tears. "Gerard?" I repeated when I got no response. All he did was just stare up at me with lost eyes.
"F-Frank?" He asked quietly that I almost didn't hear it, I smiled the slightest bit and it only made my heart ache even more. I neede dhim to talk more. I wanted him to talk normally...I needed him to be normal again. I needed my Gee back...I needed to feel his lips on mine again...
I took a deep breath and placed a hand on his thigh briefly before I went over to the bathroom and made him a glass of water, going back to him and kneeling down in front of him, lifting the glass to his lips and tilting it up for him, forcing him to drink. It honestly looked like he hadn't drunk or eaten for days and he just looked so delicate and destroyed. My beautiful Gerard had been destroyed...
"Gerard, please can you say something?" I begged, getting him another glass of water when he finished it quickly, pressing it to his lips again and he licked his lips, his throat becoming moist again.
"Y-y-you're b-back..." He whispered and I ran a hand over his hair that clearly hadn't been washed for at least four days, but I honestly didn't care. I threw my arms around his back and clutched him tightly to my chest, gripping onto him. When I felt his arms do the same I felt tears run down my cheeks and I sniffed, barely even able to keep myself together. He gripped onto me tighter as if I was the only thing keeping him alive and that made me whimper quietly, I had missed him so much it hurt. It really did hurt...
We stayed like that for a few minutes and when I pulled away tears were streaming down his face and I wiped them away for him, making him smile a little, his cheekbones rising to the surface more. I pressed a kiss to his forehead and stood, searching the room for any food. Anything that he could eat. When I was doing so I realized that all my clothes had been put away and I cursed under my breath and sighed. I remember vaguely that I had packed some food in there and now it was probably in the trash.
I continued to search around the room and I found a packet of shortbread biscuits from starbucks, I rolled my eyes and went over to Gerard, this would have to do for now. At least he had had water, I went and made him another glass, handing him that too before I sat opposite him and crossed my legs.
"Y-You're better..." Gerard whimpered and he drank more, starting to eat the shortbread with shaky hands. I nodded slowly and placed a hand on his knee, drawing circles there to try to comfort him in any way that I could. I blinked back the tears as I watched him eat, it looked painful for him to do it.
"They made me better...Just like I'm going to make you, okay?" I promised and moved next to him and took the glass from him, taking his left hand in both of mine after putting the glass on the side. I pressed a kiss to each of his knuckles and he ate the rest of the shortbread in a few minutes and I gently moved him up to the pillows and pulled him into my lap under the sheets, running a gentle hand over his hair and playing with it.
"You can sleep now, Gee...I'm here, I'm not going to leave you..." I vowed and pressed a kiss to his forehead, his eyes were already closed and I switched off the light from behind me and let a few more tears escape. Gerard may have been destroyed but I would bring him back just like he was before, because he deserved that, he deserved every good thing that could happen to a person because I loved him and he didn't need to be treated the way that he was. I was gone, and so had a part of him. I was back and I was going to fill that spot much better than I had done before..."I love you, Gerard..." Was the last thing that I whispered to him. He was safe with me...He would be fixed.