will Brendon actually leave or will he be stopped? and how will things be fixed?
It was noon, and I was started to get worried about how Brendon was holding up. I had been trying to call him all morning. I hadn't herd from Emily yet today either. they were probably still sleeping off their hangovers. there was a knock on the door and before I could get out of my chair to answer it Brendon walked in. I must have forgotten to lock my door
"hey" I said looking him over. he looked like hell. he had cuts on his face and was wearing some dark sunglasses. probably because he had been crying and to shield his eyes from the light because of the headache he must have from the hang over, or maybe just to distract from the cuts on his face.
"what happened" I said with concern, he ignored my question.
"I came to say good bye" he said " I'm going back to L.A. to work on myself" I got what he had meant.
"well that's good man. When I get back we should hang out or something." I said trying to be positive. he just nodded. There was another knock at my door. "come in!" I yelled. Brendon didn't turn around to see who it was. I think part of him already knew and another part of him didn't want to care.
"BRENDON!!" Emily yelled making Brendon finally turn around. she ran to him and threw her arms around him knocking his glasses off his face. I stared at them in confusion from my chair.
"what? are you alright?" he asked bewildered.
"are you ok?" she said standing on her tip toes to reach his face slowly turning it in her hands carefully looking at the cuts.
"we need to talk"
"that's right we need to talk! I've been trying to get a hold of you all morning to talk to you" she said playfully scolding him. I didn't expect her to act this way towards him. and why hasn't she acknowledged me yet, especially after what she said to me last night. Somethings wrong here.
She pulled me out of Patrick's hotel into her own by the arm.
"look" I said sternly before she could speak once she released me "I just wanted to say I.. I'm sorry before I go." she looked at me confused "I'm sorry I'm such a horrible person, I'm a man whore and Idiot and I don't deserve you." I said looking into her eyes sadly.
"No, I'm sorry. I was pretty drunk last night and I don't remember much, I don't even remember how I made it to my bed, but I remember I was stupid for taking off on you like that, I was scared and drunk. Your not a horrible person I can see that. Your so fun and sweet and now I know you care so much about me. I want to be your girlfriend." I stared at her dumbfound. she didn't remember what she said to Patrick last night or that she had run to him and he helped her get home. I wasn't going to tell her, It made me feel guilty. tears started to fill my eyes again. She wrapped her arms around me tightly and whispered in my ear.
"your not going to loose me."
"what about Patrick?" I said guiltily
"Patrick's awesome, he sweet, but I don't think it would ever work out between us.There's just something about you." she said thinking about something. I need to talk to him.
Emily walked into my room and sat down on my bed.
"sorry I kinda Ignored you earlier. I just had to talk to Brendon" her eyes wouldn't meet mine. I felt like something bad was going to happen. like a calm before the storm type feeling.
"Its ok" I said not knowing what else to say.
"Patrick, your so sweet and kind. I just.. I don't want to hurt you." she said still averting my eyes. oh shit. I was right. I knew this talk. I knew this talk too well, like the back of my hand. I've herd it so many times before. "but" she continued "I want to be with Brendon. and I think we should stay friends. I couldn't stand to loose you in my life." her eyes finally met mine. they were sad, and I didn't want to make them sadder.
"Its okay, don't worry. I understand" I said knowing that it was all a lie. I was such a pussy, that's why she didn't want me. that's why no one wanted me, that's why I had herd that talk so many times before. she looked at me painfully probably knowing that once she left the room I'd go into a crying breakdown.
"are we cool?" she said
"yeah, of course. were cool" I felt like yelling at her. she kissed my cheek and walked out of my room. that kiss was the coldest kiss I've ever had like it had died long before It reached me. As soon as I felt like she was back to her room. I bawled and kicked things. well fuck.
I got back to my room after breaking to Patrick the news. I felt so bad and crumby my insides feel like they were torn out, I cant even imagine how Patrick felt. He said it was ok but I now it wasn't he looked like his word had been torn out from under him. I wanted to make things better. as soon as I got back to my room I saw Brendon waiting on me to walk in.
"how'd it go"
"okay, I think."
"well that's good. so were all cool?"
"yeah. so what are we doing today?" I asked changing the subject a little, I didn't actually know if we were really all still friends or not.
"we'll trick and I were supposed to go play a few songs at this place tonight."
"do you think he still will want to?"
"let me find out" he said pulling out his phone and texting him.
"why do you guys do that?" I asked curious
"what?" he said confused
"get done preforming with your bands and on your breaks still play music?"
"well, Patrick and I we don't really get to jam together too much so its kind of different from playing music with our bands, theirs no pressure to write new stuff or anything. we also like playing different things like guitar and drums we don't get to do that normally. plus its kindo of cool to play in small venues where fans don't know we'll be. it reminds us of before we were so popular." his phone went off and he read it. "hes coming with us" I sighed in relief in my head. maybe things were good with all of us. maybe I can use tonight to somehow make things right.