Lazer Queen and Party Poison were now sat at the dining table as their conversation moved elsewhere. Party knew a lot about Lazer Queen and asked many question, but Lazer finally realised that she ...
Chapter 33. In Their Memory
Me and Party were now sat at the rickety, old dining table, sitting across from each other so we were facing one another. We had gone off the subject of clan leaders as Party asked me some rather personal questions, but I didn't hesitate in answering them.
"Lazer, you always say you're not scared of dying, but that you are scared of dying by the Sad Man's hands. But, to me, that doesn't really make any sense. Dying is dying, it doesn't really matter what form it comes in." I thought about his words and hesitated before answering, trying to make him understand where I was coming from.
"The situations are different for you and me Party. For the whole of my teenage life I listened to the radio to make sure the Sad Man hadn't gotten another member of my group, but every year another name popped up. Black Knight, Viper Wing... Incinery Bomber, our clan leader." I again hesitated before I continued.
"His death is what hit me and Blade the most. The saying goes that if the leader falls the rest of the group falls with it, and in our case that was truth. In reality we were just hoping it wasn't us who were next on the list... but after seventeen years, we were the only two left." Party stayed silent probably thinking about my words and the nature of the meaning behind them. I didn't give him much time though as I carried on speaking.
"The thing is Party, I don't want his face to be the last face I see. That's what I dread the most, knowing he's won." I again hesitated but again quickly spoke up. "I'm the only one left, and I've gotta keep living on in their memory. That's the best I can do really." Party sighed before looking up at me and saying.
"Lazer, you don't have to live on in their memory. You should live on in your own memory. Show them you can run Clan Killjoy on your own... Make them all proud, show them how great of a Killjoy you really are, prove to everyone that you are that Killjoy." I sighed an exasperated sigh before I replied.
"I would Party, if my death wasn't already planned... but I'm afraid it is. I am to die under the Sad Man's hands, I'm his only major enemy left and he won't stop until I'm dead." We both stayed silent for a little while, that is until Party's voice emerged from the silence.
"...Then why not make the rest of it worth living?" I looked up at him, confusion on my features.
When my eyes focused I found him staring deeply into my eyes, reading my soul. Searching for my secrets, finding my fears. Delving into my memories, reading my life as if it was a book... and I let him. It was as if he had me under a spell. He was inside my head, revelling in my deepest darkest secrets... and I did nothing to stop him.
It was almost like I didn't want him to stop, didn't want this to end... Usually I would crack a connection like this before it even started but right now I was under his control. I was weak... too weak to stop this.
He was now watching me. My every feature, my every move. He looked at me with a certain stare, as if he knew me... more than anyone else I've ever met. I looked at him as if he was an old friend, an old friend who I barely knew. An old friend that cared for me, but left me curious about the man sitting in front of me.
Only now do I realise that I barely know this man, yet he knows me so well. I wanted to know more about him, so I asked the question on the tip of my tongue. I asked the question I was asked before I became a Killjoy... I asked the question on everyone's lips, the question always to be asked.
I crossed my arms in front of me and stared into the eyes of the poison before finally asking.
"What's the Sad Man done to you Party Poison?"
His face suddenly went from certain into a frown and he didn't say anything, didn't speak a word... at least not yet anyways. He then looked to the floor and spoke his answer.
"...He killed my only child." He looked up at me and saw my face of surprise and sorrow, I then tried to speak my apology.
"I'm sorry... I didn't know-" But he interrupted me with sorrow on his tongue.
"-Didn't know I was once a dad?" I hesitated before answering his sorrow filled question.
"...Yea." Party held a strong face, but I could see the sadness in his eyes.
"I know...no one knows. I never wanted them to know." I paused for a second, thinking about what to say.
"...Every Killjoy has their secrets Party, even I still have secrets. I mean, I've been through a lot but... I've never been a parent. I don't know the kind of sorrow that comes with losing your own." He looked to the floor and sighed.
"It's the worst I've ever felt. First my wife became a Drac then the Sad Man took my only child away from me. I had nothing left to live for, nothing left to keep me going. Then I met Jet Star, he saw my face of sorrow and asked the exact same question you just did. That's when I became a Killjoy, why I became a Killjoy." I gave a sorrowful smile but didn't take my eyes off this vulnerable man.
I had never seen this side of Party Poison before. He was a strong man, a disciplined man, but inside he was just like the rest of us, just as scarred as everyone else. Under that rough exterior I saw a broken man, a man that found it hard to trust, a man that let his feelings control his actions, a man that once believed he had nothing left to live for.
This man wasn't as cold as ice or as hard as stone, he was just misunderstood, like the rest of us I guess. He buried his feeling deep in his mind, he pretended everything was ok when it wasn't. Deep inside he is suffering, just like the rest of us are and all I could do was apologise for my mistake.
"I'm so sorry Party-" But yet again his emotions were taking over as he started to ramble on.
"-That's why I don't trust easy, you see." I tried to keep him calm by saying.
"I know Party-" But it didn't help as he was in a world of his own, just talking to himself really, almost like I wasn't in the room.
"I can't even trust Killjoys-" I needed to get him out of his reverie before this got worse so I quickly shouted to get his attention.
"-Party!" It finally worked, he was back in the room and had calmed down. I was happy with that so let myself breath also.
He came back into the room, staring into my eyes for a short while. He then looked down at his arm, noticing my hand resting there softly in comfort. He then looked up and smiled, saying a small thanks before I replied.
"It's ok. We just shouldn't dwell on the past, it can weaken even the strongest of Killjoys." He sighed a exhausted sigh, as if he was too tired to carry on.
"Yea, I know. I just can't help it sometimes." I smiled a kind smile at him before I spoke.
"I know Party. Every Killjoy has a bloody past, something they wish had never happened... But we can't change the past, no matter how hard we try, so we just need to learn to move forward." He gave me another thankful smile before we were basked in a comfortable silence.
Ok, another chapter over guys, hope you enjoyed and I'll see you next week.