Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > Playing Matchmaker

Oh...So That's What You Meant By That?

by LivinCool402 0 reviews

Continuation of story.

Category: Naruto - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Sakura,Sasuke - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2013-11-01 - Updated: 2013-11-01 - 2474 words

-1Boring
"I refuse." Everyone was quiet in the room after Sakura gave her response. She carefully examined their expressions. Naruto's and Tsunade's was one of amusement. Sasuke's…well, his was a mixture of sorts. Some of the emotions that were flashing across his features made Sakura shiver. She could feel the anger literally radiating off of him. His bangs covered his eyes as he said his next words, his tone sounding sharp and menacing, reminding Sakura of a snake with piercing fangs. He pinched the bridge of his nose to further emphasize his aggravation. "I hope you were not too foolish into believing that I was referring to you, or rather 'proposing' to you, when I said I needed a wife."

Sakura's left eyebrow arched. She was utterly confused. 'Wait. If that's not what he meant, then…?' Sasuke glared at her through his bangs. "You should really let people finish, Sakura, before assuming things." He said, a sigh following after his sentence. "I was not asking for your hand in marriage. What I want is the exact opposite. I want you to help me find a bride. Since you were a great friend of mine in the past, I trust you above any other female in town to aid me in this mission. I have also heard deeply about the 'opinion change' that your hokage spoke of. Because of that, I know that during the search for my bride you will not -or at least that is what I am hoping- exhibit any feelings towards me and thus not cling to me as other females would do, which would be getting in my way."

Sakura's eyes went wide. She was shocked at what he was asking her to do. So shocked in fact, that the coffee that she had been currently drinking while he finished his last statement, suddenly got stuck in her throat, along with the pill. She began choking on it, gasping for air. She placed her hands around her throat, signaling that she was choking. Naruto, unfortunately, was the first one to react. "Sakura! Don't worry, I'll save you!" He yelled.

'This can't be good.' Sakura thought worriedly, now more concerned about the alerted Naruto that was coming closer and closer towards her rather than the pill that was still hitched in her throat. She removed her right hand from her throat and began to frantically wave it in the air, trying to tell Naruto to stop. But it was too late. Konoha's number one hyperactive ninja was suddenly on her back, compressing his palms on either sides of her neck. 'WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS MOTHERFUC-

[PAUSE!]

Due to inappropriate chaos and explicit language being used towards a character, though 'mentally,' we have blocked off this scene for special purposes. So instead, we will talk about the joys of life and the great gift of youth. Everything started out in it's youth, back when it was born. We all started out as an egg that was fertilized by a seed which came from our father. Where did the seed come from you ask? That I can assure you, you can figure out by peeping in on your mom and dad every once and a while. Anyway, we are just like plants. We slowly grow from little sprouts into matured, tall, beautiful flowers that will blossom into even more beauty each year. Now, if you'd take a sec-Ahem. It seems that it is safer now to return to the story. I hope you enjoyed this little lesson about youthfulness today.

[RESUME!]

This was how he was attempting to save her life?

'More like taking my life!' Sakura thought angrily. He wasn't helping at all. He was only making it worse. He was choking her for crying out loud! She could feel some of her hair being ripped out due to the death grip he had on it. She couldn't breathe.

She began to come in a panicked state. Was she really about to be murdered by the hands of her idiotic blonde friend just because of his ignorance? Shows how great her life is. "NARUTO, YOU BAKA! YOU'RE KILLING HER!" Tsunade screamed, punching Naruto in the face and causing him to fly off into the opposite wall. She wrapped her arms around Sakura's waist and began to perform the Heimlich maneuver on her.

Sakura, after a few thrusts, spat the pill out. She was still spewing out the coffee when she finally noticed the entertained expression on Sasuke's face. He shook his head in mock sadness. "You and dobe sure are amusing." She was pretty sure he had been smirking the whole entire time she was choking. If he had been though, his smirk was now gone, replaced with a serious look. "So Sakura, what will it be? Are you willing to help me find the woman that will bring a new heir to the Uchiha clan?" Sakura felt like slapping him. Did he seriously expect her to comply with his request after he just got through practically laughing in her face for choking?!

This guy must really be dumber than he lets on if that's what he truly thinks. And why would he want her of all people to help him find a bride? Wasn't she supposed to be the most aggravating woman in his life? Or perhaps…perhaps he is just bluffing? Joking about this whole entire request. That's it. She chuckled to herself. "OK. I've got to admit, you had me there for a second." Tsunade looked at Sakura inquiringly. "What do you mean Sakura? Look, I know this is probably overwhelming for you but I am assigning this as your latest mission. Out of all of the nations who have signed an alliance and decided to unite as one, Otogakure is the only village who hasn't. We need the alliance.

"The council members of Otogakure refuse to unify with the other nations and villages but it is willing to make an alliance with Konoha. As long as we allow their kage to find a bride in our own village or in one of the other villages that we are united with." Sakura couldn't hide the amazed expression she had. 'Sasuke as kage?' She thought. "And if you decide to reject this mission, I will triple the time you have to buy Naruto ramen and dump the dullest of paperwork on your desk each day for you to turn into me every morning as soon as you check in at work." Sakura was stunned. The more she heard and thought about it, the more the whole subject seemed to be a complete joke to her.

Why was this of all things having to be shoved down unto her shoulders? Why?! This had to be a joke. She didn't want to have anything to do with him! Screw past friendship. He had tried to kill her, her friends, and family. Not only that but he deceived her, broke her heart, her soul, broke her everything! Sakura was afraid she was going to choke all over again. Except this time, on air itself. 'It's just a joke. Joke. Joke. Joke.'

"Hahaha." She giggled nervously. "Me? As a matchmaker? You must be crazy. This is like, a seriously lame joke you guys. Not funny at ALL." Sasuke's eyebrows knitted together. "Whoever said it was a joke Sakura? Hn. And out of everyone else here, I thought you'd have taken this request more seriously."

Sakura just stared at him with a dumbfounded expression. Sasuke breathed. This was going nowhere. He stood up from the seat and began walking towards her. He halted when he was a foot away from her. He was a lot taller than Sakura remembered. If she still had been interested, Sakura might would have noticed the quite obvious fact that he was hotter, too. "Sakura, let's cut to the chase. We both don't like each other. I find you annoying and you more or less hate my guts. But if there's one thing we both have in common besides strongly disliking each other, it's that we can hold tolerance and even some patience, if the price is set right for it.

"My reward for tolerance and patience, in this case, is getting to revive the Uchiha clan. Yours? Well, I believe Tsunade has said enough. You don't get stuck with the dobe and you don't have to stay up late doing tons of meaningless paperwork for hours and hours into the night." He suddenly shrugged. "And you never know. You might even find an odd twist of excitement from helping me find a bride." Sakura began to speak in protest but he silenced her by raising his hand. He continued. "But we both know that these things alone won't simply satisfy you, will they? Therefore, I have an incentive of my own to try and bribe you with. If you help me find for what I am seeking for I will pay you 97500000.00 yen."

Sakura's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. "N-ninety…" She began to stutter out. Did he know the amount of medical supplies she could buy with that much money? How many lands she could travel to heal people? Or the abundance of dresses and beauty products she could buy with those kind of bucks?! He had most definitely won her over but yet, she kept her mouth closed for a few more seconds, deciding on something. She wasn't going to let him know that he had won so easily. She didn't want him to see how simple it was to trap her inside his web.

She looked away from him to the ground, a demanding look on her face. "I also want access to my own quarters when I travel with you. I refuse to share rooms or beds with anyone else, especially you. I am to be allowed to go wherever I want and when I want when I am not working on the mission. That includes no ninjas or bodyguards following after me. Strictly privacy. Got it?" She asked him, very sincere. He seemed a little objective at some of her requests but in the end just nodded his head in response. She paused for a brief moment before looking him directly in the eyes. "I also want confirmation that you are in fact not scheming a terrorist attack against Konoha."

"Sakura," Tsunade began, obviously disapproving of Sakura's wish, but Sasuke went ahead and answered her. "If I were to fail in finding a bride and destroy the alliance between Otokagure and Konoha over a selfish act such as that, many powerful rogue ninjas would be out to get me. Both from each village. Otokagure is in need of wealth and of more supplies. If we make the alliance, we can barter with Konoha, along with a few other nations. The benefit for Konoha is that it can be reassured that we have made peace with them and will not start a war. If I were to mess up this alliance, many angry men and women would be searching for me. Why would I want to inflict any harm upon myself? Besides, I have left my hatred in the past. It was a past generation of elders that led to the massacre of my clan. Not today's generation."

Sakura let out a 'humph.' "Yeah, you better have left it in the past. Because if I see you pluck a single hair off of any of my friends' bodies, I will kick you so hard in between the legs that you wouldn't have to worry about reviving your clan anymore. You would no longer have the privilege to own what the human male needs in order to produce babies." She still didn't trust him. That was pretty evident. She had a very bad gut feeling about this whole entire mission. She sighed to herself. But she would put up with the psychotic, egotistical Uchiha if it allowed her to go venture into other countries that were sure to need her help in fighting off diseases in sick patients. Countries that would allow her to compete in the challenge that she was so desperate for.

Yes, she would tolerate him…for now anyways. Sasuke smirked at her words, appearing to be entertained by them, in a strange sense. "Is that all?" Sakura asked Tsunade, who was currently crouched over Naruto, tending to the huge goose egg that was forming on his head from the impact. "Yes. There will be a file laid on your desk that will go into further detail about the mission when you get back to your office. You are now dismissed." Tsunade said over her shoulder to the pink haired woman. Sakura didn't even bother saying good bye as she stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind her.

It wasn't until she was back into her office and staring down at the file on her desk that realization hit her: What had she just gotten herself into? She just agreed to be the great and notorious Uchiha Sasuke's matchmaker.

Rain showered from up above, making Sakura cold and getting her soaked. 'Light showers my ass.' Sakura thought, agitated. She recalled the news channels' forecast, which was evidently bull crap. She was now running through a thunderstorm on the week's Monday, already having to start on the mission early in the morning due to Sasuke wanting to be prompt. So far she had no luck, most of the village women appearing to be out of town or already having a lover. Honestly, she didn't even know how to be a matchmaker. So how was she going to know the one fit for Sasuke when the time came?! She sighed before having a look of determination overflow her features. That didn't matter. Right now, she needed to find someone that could at least be paired with him for the time being.

Sakura stopped in her tracks. She bended down, her hands resting on her knees, her breathing rapid. Was there even anyone out here in a storm such as this? 'Oh, he better be hoping there is.' She thought, grumbling. Forcing her to have to come out here with the weather being like this? In such a pathetic and life risking stage? He would definitely be dead if she couldn't find some fan girl chick out here. And that's when she heard it. The voice that sounded like music to her ears. The voice that just became her savior. "Sup forehead? Come to buy any more of my flowers?" Sakura grinned madly at the ground. 'First person I pair with Sasuke Uchiha as I attempt to play matchmaker: Ino Yamanaka.' She thought, as she turned around to face Sasuke's first date.
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