Who is the first person you would turn to when you are about to make a decision that would change your life forever? RoyxRiza mild spoilers after episode 25
To live in the future, one must forget the past.
Over and over, Roy Mustang read the sentence trying to grasp what it meant. Well, actually, he knew what it meant; he just did not want to admit it to himself that he knew. If that even made sense anymore.
Nothing really made any sense to him. It was as if someone had smacked him hard across the head and everything had gone numb around him. He wanted things to go back to the way they were before. Before Hughes died, before... maybe, if they could have changed time, things now would be different.
Roy sighed and snapped the book shut. It was another one of those stupid self-help books he had gotten into the habit of picking up at the library. How he started, he didn't know, maybe some drive, some desire to change his life, turn it around, forget the past and not make any more mistakes, but it had become addicting, something he looked foreword too, something... pleasing. Yes, snapping the cover of self-help books before he had even turned the first page was very satisfying.
Carefully he replaced the book onto the mahogany shelf of the library. As he made his way through the maze of books, he ran his fingers across the dusty volumes that encased the room, causing the space to look much smaller than its actual size.
He walked down the stairs, blowing out the candles that provided the light to the room as he left. It was late, he would be the only one still at the library, save for the one librarian tending to the desk, waiting for him to leave so she could lock the place up.
He exited the library, not even sparing a passing glance at the young female librarian that was nonchalantly writing something in a notebook. She was new, he would have realized had he glanced over, her novice status being the only thing that kept her there beyond the normal library hours. Whatever kept her there, he was thankful. Roy stepped off the veranda and pulled his dark coat closer too him, white flakes of snow quickly falling and obscuring the darkness of his hair.
"Colonel, sir," a female voice said in the darkness beside him. He looked up at the sky, which was a dark gray color that almost matched his gloomy mood.
"You waited for me all this time?" he asked softly.
To any passerby he would have sounded touched by this gesture, but to the woman who, by chance, knew him quite well, she was not sure. Possibly, he thought she was stupid, but she did not care. At this rate, if he was attacked or something by that alchemist killer that was on the loose he would not even defend himself. She could not allow that to happen. Then what would happen to her world? Its carefully melded fragments would shatter open and fall to the floor, pieces of a lost dream, or hope, or whatever it was now.
"Well, I thought you would be a lot earlier than you really are. It's almost midnight." Roy chuckled softly to himself.
"I didn't know I was supposed to hurry because someone was waiting for me." This made the woman smile. The simple fact that maybe he would have hurried so as not to inconvenience her was an interesting notion, one that may need to be cultivated at a different moment in time. Roy looked over at her face, which was wrapped in a light pink scarf. Her forehead was red, as though she had been standing out in the cold for a long time waiting for him. Her blue eyes peered intensely over the top of the scarf, scrutinizing his every move.
"At ease, Lieutenant. We're not in the office anymore. You don't have to look quite so formal." Roy watched her, hoping this simple sentence would make her relax a bit. "We should head home, you look cold."
Riza shook her head.
"I'm not suffering."
Roy sighed softly, almost inaudibly. Of course, she would never admit to being cold for fear of that being a sign of weakness, and one thing Riza Hawkeye did not tolerate was weakness... or incompetence, especially when it came to paperwork. Being cold, however, in his opinion was not a sign of weakness at all. However, Riza Hawkeye did not show anything that could possibly even in the smallest sense be classified as weakness. He would have to bring her home himself, for he could hardly bear it for her to suffer the cold on his part.
He lightly touched the small of her back and pushed her foreword, a little bit farther out of the awning of the library and onto the street.
"We should go home," he told her, his breath coming in warm clouds against the icy sheet of snow. She nodded and allowed herself to be taken by the hand as he led her down the icy street and to the place he called home. She would walk him home first and then retreat to her house just down the way just so she could protect him. She really worried about him, he just did not realize quite how much. At times Riza really questioned why she worried so much for the Colonel, but it really came down to the times like this one where he showed care for her, and even the smallest hint of affection was enough for her.
On the other hand, for Roy it was different. He contemplated this as they walked past house after house down the cold street, the snow sticking to his dark hair and coat turning them white, and to Riza's light pink scarf and coat, making her look like a sugar coated doll in the pale light cast down from the streetlamps they past. He did not know why she determinedly stuck to his side when sometimes he did stupid things and his ambition to become Fuhrer put her in difficult and dangerous situations. He didn't try to put her in those situations, in fact he would rather she had a desk job so she wouldn't get hurt, but Riza was more than capable, so he let it slide.
Riza studied Roy's pensive face in the dim light from the lamps that lit the street. They were coming to the end of the road, and at that moment, she would have loved to know what he was thinking. She had no doubt that in time, she would find out, but the desire to know hit her immediately.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked him, turning her eyes so they met his. He broke her gaze and watched the snowy ground pass by their feet, crunching as they walked.
"This is my house," he said pointing to a small one-story house that was hardly big enough to qualify.
"I know," Riza replied softly, wondering why he was dodging the question. She knew mostly everything about what he did at work, so there was no reason to keep anything going on there a secret. "I've been here before."
Roy looked back at her, matching his chocolate brown eyes with her blue ones.
"Do you want to come in?" He asked, it was the first time he had asked such a question, he preferred that, beyond taunting Havoc, his personal matters be kept separate from work. Riza nodded slowly, and the pair headed hand in hand up the path. Roy unlocked the door, they stepped over the threshold into the warm interior, and Roy turned on the lights. Riza shut the door behind her with a soft click and waited for further prompting. Roy meanwhile had taken off his coat and stowed it away in a closet.
"I can take your coat," he said lightly reaching out his hands for Riza's jacket and scarf, which she gladly handed to him. He hung them up in the closet next to his and took Riza's arm. She savored the contact, because before today he had not touched her at all, in fact, it was usually the other way around.
He was jumpy, perhaps he was not being cautious enough, perhaps he should hide his affection a bit better, but he was feeling a bit, no really depressed and he savored the warmth of Riza's skin against his palm.
"Thank you," she replied as he led her toward the living room.
"Do you want anything?" he asked, seating her on a worn couch. She shook her head, the back of her clipped up hair swinging. It was getting long, Roy noticed.
"Are you sure?" she nodded, as he hoped she would because he wanted to watch her hair swing like that again.
Riza was nervous, it was all she could do not to start fidgeting in some very out-of-character way. She was alone with Roy Mustang in his house. She sat silently watching him pace about the room, his dark hair dripping from the snow outside.
"What are you going to do?" she asked softly, finally realizing it was pointless to wait for him to say something first. He needed a little prodding. In addition, she realized, he was still the same Roy Mustang as he was in the office, except now they were on different ground. She was not nervous anymore. Riza Hawkeye was not one to be nervous.
"I don't know," Roy shook his head, "I don't know."
"But you've been thinking about it."
He turned to face her, his dark eyes locking on her blue ones.
"I've thought about it. What do you think?" he questioned. Riza went silent for a moment.
"He wouldn't want you to do anything that would get in the way of your goal of becoming the Fuhrer. Hughes wouldn't want anything like that."
Roy nodded, and pensively turned to the window.
"I'm going to get revenge."
"What?" Riza asked, shocked.
"I'm going to avenge Hughes's death. That way I can..." the rest of his sentence hung in the air, unsaid. It did not need to be said.
Riza stood up and walked over to where Roy was standing. He did not look quite like the Roy she knew and loved from the office, but she had seen this side of Roy before.
"You- you will be by my side, right?" he wondered aloud, asking for assurance. That was all he needed, Riza realized. The assurance someone would stand by him in his decision to avenge Hughes, wherever it may lead, whatever may happen to him on the way.
The question hung in the air for a few moments as Riza contemplated her answer. In reality, she did not need to think before she answered, but she wanted to see if he had anything else to say.
"I-I won't do anything yet. I want to see what happens first," Roy lamented, "I might be able to pull off avenging Hughes and still becoming Fuhrer, and if I can do that I'll take the opportunity," Roy finished determinedly.
"I'm glad to see you still have a little bit of spirit still left in you," Riza smiled softly looking into Roy's eyes. He smiled slightly back at her.
"Of course I will follow you."
Well. THAT was interesting. It's really dark and angsty. Yeah, I think that covers it. I dunno if it's any good though. I've never tried to write like that before. I do not really know what to say. Maybe I have been reading a bit too much Anne Rice.
Well, if you made it this far, thank you for reading, and PLEASE review. I would love to know what people think of this ummm... "Experiment."