Rose has another session in therapy and breaks down with a realization.
The therapist turned on her tape recorder and hit record. She picked up her pen for notes.
"Tell how you feel today, Rose," she said. I looked down at my hands in my lap.
"Fine," I mumbled.
"It's okay, Rose," she said, "You can be honest in this room. Anything you say here will never these four walls." Somehow, that didn't really help at all. I pressed my lips together.
"Alright," I said in a soft voice.
"Let's try this again," the lady said, "Tell how feel today, Rose." She's trapped me; I have no choice but to tell the truth.
"Like I want to throw up," I confessed.
"Why is that?"
I felt my stomach turn at that question. "I haven't had any pills in days."
I shook my head. The lady gave me a curious look.
"No?" she asked.
"No!" I yelped.
"Tell me why you think that."
I drew my knees to my chest. "I could function better. My company might be shut down and my cousin wants this lavish wedding. Plus, my boyfriend is going through a divorce."
I heard the lady writing in her notepad. "Is that why you needed to take the pills?"
"Yes," I admitted rather sheepishly.
"Would you like to function normally again?" my shrink asked.
"I guess..." I mumbled.
I sighed and lowered my shoulders. "I don't know anymore." I buried my head in my hands. "I can't do this anymore. My head's hurting and everyone's worried about me."
"Well, that's why you're here," she told me. I pulled my knees closer to my chest. "I almost don't want to be here anymore." I felt myself starting to cry once more.
"Do you need a moment?" the therapist asked. I shook my head.
"No, I'll be fine," I said.
"Take your time if you have to."
I nodded as I sobbed, "Alright." I wiped away the tears from my eyes. "It hurts me so much."
"Everyone is there for you," she said, "Just remember that. You can get through this." I hiccupped another sob as I whimpered at her.
"Could you keep telling me that until we're finished here?" I asked in a small voice.
"Sure," she replied. Usually during these sessions, I felt nothing. Today was different however. I can't tell if it was the days that I had been without the pills or the fact that I realized that I was in a bad place at that time. Either way, something inside me dragged me back to reality and made me want to get better again.
We ended staying in the session longer than we were scheduled that day.