Gerard is Santa. Mikey's secret is revealed!
"But you know, and I wanna know! C'mon." Gerard whined
"Look, all I'm gonna say is that Mikey isn't as innocent as you thought." Chloe said with a shudder
"What do you me-" he was cut off by Brendon who abruptly entered the apartment and sat on the couch
"Chloe, a guy across the hall was asking me for a low budget blowjob! Is that the kind of publicity you're giving me? Because I tell guys the guys that you are a grade A lay and you just- low budget Chloe!" Brendon said exasperated as Chloe and Gerard laughed
"Brendon I assure you, the last thing I would ever do is jeopardize your sex life"
Gerard's phone rang
"Excuse me" he said while walking to the kitchen and answering
"Hey bro!" Mikey said cheerfully
"Well you sound all happy. Last time we spoke you were mad at me for poisoning your innocence and shit"
"Well, It has come to my attention that you were right, mom and I had a two hour heartfelt convo in which she came clean about her compulsive lying and I forgave her, as I forgive you." He explained
"Oh, great, I guess..."
"But brother dearest, that is not the reason I'm calling. Remember you were looking for a job? Well my friend Candy knows some guy who used to dress up like Santa at the mall but he got gonorrhea and they don't want him near the kids so now you can be punk Santa!" He exclaimed
"Santa? Mikey I can't dress up as Santa, it's completely idiotic!"
"Pays 500 bucks and you only have to work for five days and you start tomorrow!"
"Fine, tell her I'm in."
"Yay! Finally, my biggest fantasy will become a reality, big bro, Santa suit, eyeliner dripping in beads of sweat down his cheeks."
"What?! Mikey what the fuck?"
"Gotta go bye"
Gerard walked back to the living room completely traumatized.
"Who was it?"
"Mikey, Guess whose gonna be the new Santa at the mall." Gerard said sarcastically as Brendon and Chloe laughed
"When do you start?" Brendon asked
"Oh shit! I'm gonna get Pete to give me the day off."
"Yeah, what are you gonna do? Blow him?" Brendon cackled maniacally and Chloe stuck her tongue out.
"Guys! Help, I've never been Santa before, what do I do? What if some kid barfs on me, oh dear God, what if I get groped?" Gerard pulled a mortified expression
"Trust me, if anyone gropes you it's gonna be me. You'll do great! I'm gonna go call William, see you tomorrow." Brendon said exiting the apartment
"Hey Chloe, did you hear the girl's name? The one that was with Mikey?"
"How could I forget. It was Candy."
The next day
"Gerard wake up!"
"Time to get ready for work!" Chloe said with a smirk
After a long and excruciatingly boring ride to the mall Gerard felt like stabbing himself in the face with a plastic spoon. This day was not gonna go well.
He reported to the front desk and retrieved his santa suit which was two sizes too big, smelled like piss and had a mysterious stain.
He sat on his throne at 'Santa's Workshop' and almost cried as he saw about 100 kids in line with their parents. The first few went great actually, no one cried, one kid even gave him a candy cane and Gerard thought maybe this wasn't gonna be as bad as he thought. When he got about halfway through, that's when the trouble started. One kid barfed on his hat and threw it at one of the ceramic reindeer, another kept whining to his mom that 'santa smells funny', a teenaged girl sneezed on him and to top it all off the suit was it itchy in all the wrong places, seeing as you can't scratch your junk when there's about fifty minors within a hundred feet of you.
He was convinced that nothing else could go wrong.
He looked at the sea of people only to notice that Chloe was now recording at the front of the line. Brendon was up next.
"What the fuck, no, no, no, no, no" Gerard whispered to himself as Brendon's grin grew and he ran up to him and sat on his lap.
"Santaaaa" Brendon moaned from Gerard's lap.
Everyone in the room stared in utter shock.
"Brendon, what the fu-"
"Santa, I've been so,so naughty!" He exclaimed in an overly sexual tone while putting his finger in his mouth.
"Brendon, please I-"
"Santa, the things I've done! The things I've done have been..." He paused, looking at the now bigger crowd to add dramatic effect
A loud gasp was heard in the room. Parents shocked and angry, children confused, Chloe laughing her ass off pointing her camera and Brendon wearing a smug smirk.
"Santa, I just want you! All I want for christmas is you Santa. I want you to feel you Santa, Can I feel you?" Brendon smirked as Gerard wiggled under him
"Like hell you ca-"
He was cut off by his on squeal. Brendon had grabbed his junk, right there, in front of everyone.
Even Chloe couldn't believe it.
"Brendon, that's enough, this wasn't part of the plan" she whisper- yelled.
"Shut up Chloe, this might be my only chance to feel Way up and trust me, I'm not passing up a chance to feel that Gerard D." He rocked up on Gerard's thigh
"Yeah, ok, enough, Santa quits!" Gerard said as he pushed Brendon down and walked away, leaving parents mad and children crying.
Back at home
"Brendon, I can't believe you did that!" Chloe said angrily
"It's whatever, Chlo. I really didn't want that job anyway and I was gonna quit either way." Gerard called from the bathroom while he picked Cheetos out of his hair.
"Plus, it was hot! Beckett boy isn't giving me any action so I had to satisfy my needs somehow." Brendon replied
"Yeah, but you didn't have to become an exhibitionist!" Chloe stated
"Oh, please, you just wished you were the one up on Santa Gerard's lap getting all hot and frisky." Brendon winked
"I was hot as hell but trust me there was no frisk involved" Gerard said coming out of the bathroom.
"Fine, Bren, weren't you gonna call Pete?"
"Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me Chloe! I'll see you guys later" Brendon said while leaving
"Your brother hired a prostitute" Chloe uttered
"What?! What are you talking about?"
"That girl that was out with him, Candy, she was giving him rates when I spied on them. Mikey said he wanted the whole package just like the other night."
"Oh my God! Are you serious?! My Mikey? The kid believed in the tooth fairy until last week! He thought it was safe to shove forks in toasters that were plugged in. He brought a heater in the shower with him! My innocent baby brother who claimed to have his mind 'soiled' by me and he's getting laid more than I do! Un-fucking-believable." Gerard chuckled
"Well, there you go! After a day like today I guess you needed some cheering up."
"Damn right! Night Chloe." He said while walking to his room.
"Night Santa" she chuckled
A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long since we've updated, Chloe and I have had a lot of stuff going on but we're back now! Hope you liked it. :)