He wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me close to him, my eyes shutting when I inhaled his scent. He nuzzled my neck again before he spoke. “It’s desperation."
He pushes me against the brick wall, his soft lips seeking mine harshly, fingers diving into my hair, pulling at the strands roughly. Pain shot down my back at the feel of the rough bricks behind me rubbing against my skin, causing me to cry out.
His perfect teeth sunk into my lower lip before his lips ripped off of my own, his fingers tugged at my hair again, tilting my head back so that he could nuzzle at my neck. My head fell back against the wall, bouncing off of the impact as the somewhat gentle caress of his lips made my eyes roll at the back of my head.
He growled, the sound instantly shutting me up as his fingers dug into my sides, he didn't want to think about what he was doing because it shamed him. That’s why he preferred to drag me into corners, dirty alley ways like this because it hid him from the rest of the world. He thought that he was dirty, that he wasn’t normal, and the only way he could justify it was to blame it on me. It was my fault that he wanted me.
He licked up my neck and I noticed that his eyes were open, but they weren't looking at me, they were staring at the wall behind us. Swallowing the pain, I crushed my mouth to his, tongue forcing it’s way into his mouth as the question that I wanted to ask was echoing in my mind. I needed to ask it, because I couldn't hold it off any longer. This fucking question was important to me because it was going to help me make my mind up about whether i could go on in this band, if it was even a band anymore. It seemed to me like it was a circus now, there was no passion, but he was the only thing keeping me here.
“Axl, I nee-”
Axl suddenly punched the wall, which made me jump, and his green eyes opened, full of anger. He raised an eyebrow, silently telling me to carry on because deep down he knew that I wouldn't let it go. I placed my hands on his arms, trying to calm him down but he shoved me off. I fell against the wall so hard that I was sure that I had marks on my back, but I know that I needed to ask him.
“What is this?”
His head snapped up, eyes widening at the seriousness of the question, and he just looked at me. I felt anxious, scared as to what he was going to do because he could change to quickly. He backed away a step, and leaned against the wall opposite me, it seemed like he didn't want to be near me anymore.
We sat in silence for the next few minutes, and that’s when I saw how tired he looked, so beaten down. He was trying to hard to keep the band and his life together that he wasn’t taking care of himself, he was clinging to what little of the band was left.
My head raised when I heard his feet coming closer, and his hands rest on my shoulders. I quietly prayed for the right words to come out of his mouth, I hoped that they would convince me to stay. I needed something, a sign to keep me beside him because I knew that if he couldn't see what was right in front of him, I had to go because I couldn't let him bring me down.
He pressed against me, his hands trailing up my neck to my face, cupping my cheeks in his hands. He forced me to look at me, but it wasn’t the expression that I wanted to see. His eyes were dead and black, not the bright green orbs that were there when we first met.
They looked broken down and I knew that I couldn't fix him, that no-one could. He wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me close to him, my eyes shutting when I inhaled his scent. He nuzzled my neck again before he spoke.
It wasn’t enough to make me stay.