Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

Anything For You My Balding Swan.

by electricviolence 9 reviews

Old Frerard. Purely for comedic purpose. Kind of.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Erotica,Horror,Humor - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2014-02-16 - Updated: 2014-02-16 - 549 words

"Old people's skin sags because it's being pulled toward the underworld." -Bo Burnham.

Even in their old age Gerard Way and Frank Iero like to get it on.

"Oh, sweet love muffin." 80 year old Gerard enters their bedroom with a bouquet of flowers and a denture smile that every girl deems to be the creepiest thing they've ever seen.

"What? What'dya say?" A 75 year old, and bald don't forget bald, Frank Iero asks from the joined bathroom as he squints into the mirror. Frank blinks his eyes at the sudden bouquet that enters the room along with his wonderful husband and the growing tent in his trousers.

"My love." Gerard coos lovingly and grabs him by the waist. "I finally got up for you."

"That's great." Frank says, smiling at Gee's forgetfulness. "But you're not the one who had issues with that. I'm the penetrator.(Nothing like the Terminator.) You're the penetratee."

"OH!" Gerard coughs, then drops the flowers he's holding. "Well, fiddlesticks, Frankie. I took like twelve Viagra for you."

Frank shrugs and his shoulder cracks and pops. "S'okay. I can still fuck you. My dick has not lost any of his youthful vigor."

So Gerard and Frank make their way to the bedroom, slowly. Dear God, Oh so slowly. They kiss with the same passion as they did when they were young, only now their dentures kind of clink together and tug loose, but the other is always there to push it back into place with their tongue. True love, guys.

After about 20 minutes of trying to tug eachother out of their clothes and somehow getting their balls tangled up together, they're ready to fuck. Kind of. Frank drags a ten pound gatorade jug full of lube out of the closet and spreads it onto his wrinkly erection. Due to his cataracts, he takes some more time to line up with Gerard's asshole.

"I'm gonna push in now, baby."

"Okay." Gerard nods, adjusting his toupee. "Just be gentle, I'm not a spring chicken anymore."

"Anything for you, my balding swan."

Frank pushes in and goes to town, not bothering to wait because Gerard's asshole is pretty much ready for anything to go in and spend a weekend by now. He uses it as storage space sometimes. Need a comb? Some money? Medications for hemorrhoids? Gerard's asshole has you covered.

"Oh yeaaahh." Frank moans quietly, and Gerard looks confused. His hearing aide must have gone bad.

"What? What did you say?"

Gerard moans, then also hard of hearing Frank asks. "What?"

Another moan.

"What? Why are you talking, I'm trying to fuck you."

Another moan.

"Frank, would you turn the Tv off, it's being loud."

Eventually they both cum, and it's sad because they're old. They both collapse onto the bed, bones crackling like pop rocks. Frank cuddles up to Gerard like he always has, and always will do. Gerard nuzzles the top of Frank's bald head. They fall asleep together.

A couple hours later a young woman enters the room, then shudders. "Someone call the nurse. Mr. Iero and Mr. Way have made a mess of their living quarters again."

And so the cycle continues until they die of having too much old guy sex in an old folks home, at the ages of 135 and 130.

The end.
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