A crack drabble inspired by late night ponderings at the local IHOP about the identifying "tattoos" of the animal based clans in Konoha. (Originally written 07/2004)
Shikamaru figured it had to be a lucky shot for Chouji. Good as Chouji was, he'd never landed that solid a blow. He sighed and tried to ignore the sensation of clothing ripping as he slid along the rough ground, hurtling towards something. A sudden log appeared, sending him up into the air.
He sighed again as his perspective changed from his beloved sky to the dirt below. And a tree. Wasn't that fucking lovely? A tree in his path to prevent him from getting further ripped up.
Nice tree would only give him a nasty headache instead.
Seeing as how he was still in midair and slowly tilting so that he was going to hit the dirt head first, Shikamaru gave up and shoved his hands into his pockets. This was going to hurt no matter what he did, so he might as well just give up. Course he was beginning to line up to hit face first, but who cared?
Might get him out of practices for the rest of the week.
With a jarring thud, he slammed face first into the bark of the tree (thankfully birch so it didn't scratch too much) and slid down to the ground. In too much pain (and being comfortable in finally being MOTIONLESS on the ground) Shikamaru deigned to stay where he was; face in the tree, hands in his pockets and ass up in the air.
When had Chouji learned to hit like Ino anyway?
He could hear the hurried footsteps of both his teammates coming through the underbrush. He shifted slightly, so he wasn't pressing that twig up his nose, but otherwise remained where he was.
"Shikamaru-kun! Are you alright?"
"Damnit Shikamaru! I thought you'd dodge that!"
Shikamaru grunted and shifted his position slightly to let them know, other then making out with the tree (nice tree to let him), he was fine. He felt the vibrations of them getting closer and sighed.
"Aiya. Chouji! You tore up his clothing!"
"I thought he'd DODGE! I didn't think he'd be THAT lazy!"
"Mou! I should hit YOU for that, but you're supposed to be prac..tic..ing?"
Shikamaru wondered what was going on that made Ino trail off like that. Still didn't want to get up though. He was communing with the tree and it's trail of ants and he rather liked it.
He did NOT like it, however, when he felt a finger tip press onto his lower back (right above where his ass started, who the HELL did she think she was?!) and heard Ino start to chuckle. Worse yet...Chouji was joining in.
"Shi...Shika...maruwahahaaa!! I KNEW you had your clan tattoo somewhere!"
AW SHIT. Shikamaru moved faster then he ever had in his life, springing to his feet, spinning to put the tree behind him and clapping his hands over his lower back. And damnit all...he was starting to blush too. Chouji was turning bright red, trying (not very well) to hold in his laughter, but lost it the moment he saw Shikamaru blushing. Ino was already rolling on the ground, pointing at him, with tears streaming down her face.
"You...youyou...YOU HAVE A TAIL!! A LITTLE DEER TAIL!!" Ino managed to get out, through her hiccoughing laughter. Chouji's own laughter got louder when she said it. Shikamaru flushed an angry red and ducked to hide his face, muttering under his breath.
Stupid deer clan.