She was there every show they played, no matter how big or small. Pete found himself infatuated with her, but knew he never had a shot. Besides the fact that he knew what she thought of him, she wa...
The kids all thought that we didn't watch them while we played. It's naive to think so, but they probably don't think we can because we're so into the music. Either that or I decided a while ago, that they share the same sense of paranoia that anyone has when they're aware they're being watched. The girls swoon, but you can tell they're so nervous. When you know someone has all their attention on you, you start to become overly conscious of your flaws. Trust me, I know.
But, when you're up on that stage, playing every song that you could do in your sleep, you have to keep yourself entertained with something. I watched the kids. I made notice of them and which ones really seemed into it, as opposed to the ones who were there because they just heard of us. Those were the ones I really knocked myself out for, though. I had the other kids, but it was my mission to win over the new fans. I had to give them an amazing show that they would remember for years.
It was a little early in the game to be thinking about this, since we were only playing small venues, but that was all the more reason to play something fantastic. You don't get area tours by playing sub par music. You don't become a legend by playing your instrument with an air of boredom. This was rock, or at least alternative. We didn't care what we were; besides dedicated. And, every single one of us was. There is no half assing it in music. If you didn't give it all you had, you might as well go home, because you don't make the cut.
We were playing in a club when I first caught sight of her. She was tall, with black hair and a pair of the most stunning blue eyes I'd ever had the fortune to see. She was well built, which was a change from the tiny framed girls who usually showed up. But, it was a pleasant change. She was beautiful, is what she was. The ring on her finger, however, and the way her fingers were laced with the guy next to her told me that I didn't stand a chance.
She came to nearly every show. When you see the same stunning girl in the front row, every night, it leaves an impression on you. I couldn't tell who was the bigger fan, though - her or her fiancÃ©. It bothered me how he kept pushing her out of the way to get just that much closer to the barricade. Looking down the line of kids in the front row, every guy had his girlfriend or girl friend in front of him, making sure she could see and didn't get pummeled by the crowd or anything.
Every guy except this one. I'd never talked to her, but I'd grown sort of...the word was not protective...of her. No, that wasn't the word, but it was something similar. I made a point at every show to express how uncool I thought it was for guys to stand in front of their girlfriends or to block the tiny ones. And, yet, he stayed where he was, with his fiancÃ©e resting her chin on his shoulder, trying to get a better look. It bothered me to no end. When I was where they were, just a kid in a show, I made sure my girlfriend at the time could see what was happening. He didn't care. Some fiancÃ©.
I played over different conversations in my head, that we would have together. I knew how lame it was, but I couldn't help it. I desperately wanted to talk to her. But, when you're Peter Wentz, things don't work out that way. I saw the way she looked at me. It wasn't with any kind of amazing admiration. She looked at me and saw a conceited guy who thought the world of himself. She was so wrong, because it was she I thought the world of.
But, I would never have the opportunity to tell her that. I could never tell her that I'd give anything just to sit and watch her smile for a few minutes. She wasn't just any kid to me. She looked about my age, and it was just perfect. But, that guy was there. While he was around, she was none of my business. I'd told Patrick about her, and he noticed her, as well. She watches him with the admiration and excitement that I wish I'd see on her face when she saw me.
Every show, I walk off the stage and miss yet another opportunity to tell her to lose that creep. I know she could be much happier with my ring on her finger, but I'm just another jaded rock star who takes the world for granted. She'd never see how terrified I was to even think of talking to her. There were so many fans out there, and she'd never in a million years know that she was the only one I saw each and every show.