Cloud doesn't need enemies. He's got Tifa and Aeris.
Warnings: Mild spoilers if you haven't played the game?
Notes: This is complete self-indulgence on my part. Tifa and Aeris would so try to dress Cloud up again. They'd make it their mission in life, I can see them browsing each town store they stopped in for that perfect color for him.
Friends Like These
It was eerie how well the two were getting along after only knowing each other for a total of- How long had it been? Cloud's sense of time had never been the best even when he could look around him and gauge the passage of time from the rest of the world. The endless tunnels of the sewers made even that impossible for him, but he was pretty sure it couldn't have been longer than an hour.
Not much time at all and yet Tifa and Aeris had somehow developed an easy friendship in that time. The how and why of it completely eluded him, leaving him helplessly wondering about the minds of women. Especially since he'd thought they wouldn't get along because of, well, because of him really. But get along they did, and he was left with the sinking feeling that he would not be enjoying his immediate future.
Aeris giggled. Cloud glanced back at the women wearily. Tifa's hands flew to her mouth muffling her laughter as Aeris' giggles continued. Sighing Cloud turned back and continued to slog through the sewer water doing his level best to ignore the conversation they didn't even bother trying to hide.
"You don't know what you're talking about!" He finally heard Tifa say through her laughter. "He'd look great in one of those tight black dresses."
"Not with his coloring," Aeris continued trying to sell her idea to Tifa, "his eyes scream for blue. Although I do agree that tight is the way to go," A considering pause made Cloud's shoulders itch. He could just feel them looking.
"You know," Aeris said slowly, "if he grew his hair out just a little more he wouldn't even need to wear a wig."
"His hair would take a lot of work though. I don't think he's ever really taken care of it," Water splashed against the tunnel's wall as Tifa kicked gleefully. "The dead ends alone would take hours to cut off, and we need to get him a good shampoo and conditioner."
"It won't take that long, and we can pick something up at Wall Market. I know a man who sells really good lotion as well," Aeris couldn't have sounded happier. "He's got a good complexion, but he still needs to take care of it more."
"No kidding," Tifa said. "We can get his make-up at the place I buy all my stuff. I'm pretty sure with his coloring and eyes he'd do well with earth tones, but we'd have to take him with us to be sure."
Cloud growled lowly turning to direct a glare at the giggling pair. They didn't even have the shame to look abashed as they broke down into laughter. Again.
Aeris bit her lip quieting down enough to say, "I think the black dress might not be a bad idea either. With the way his mascara runs it'd give him a nice gothic look."
"Yes!" Tifa exclaimed. "Where did he get that mascara anyway?"
"Someone at the Honey Bee Inn did it for him," Aeris looked thoughtful. "We'll have to go back and find out what it was they used."
Cloud quickened his pace in an attempt to use the distance to distort their conversation. It didn't do him any good as he could hear them just as well through the slight echo their voices gained. He really didn't know what he'd expected would happen when the two women met, but he was sure it wasn't as bad as what actually had happened.