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Translation of a german Drabble, originally written by Anke at ff.net

Regulations

"Class-Five-Security Charm?"
"Performed!"
"Noise-Protection-Charm?"
"Also performed!"
"Fire?"
"All Fireplaces extinguished!"
"Vital functions?"
"Everything in green Range!"
"For Both?"
"Yeeees!"
"You know, this means a lot of physical stress! We have to be careful."
"I know."
"Injury-proofed Mattress?"
"Ready!"
"Did you perform the waterproof-charm? I don't want..."
"Certainly!"
"Don't make such a face. You know, that as for me being a Ministry official it's mandatory for me to follow all Security Regulations! Paragraph 62 of the Behaviour Codex for Ministry Officials clearly says..."
"Oh Percy," Penelope groaned . "Can't we just shag one time like any ordinary people?"