DMC Spoilers, Oneshot. Set directly after movie. He saw the kiss, but what hurt him the most was not her infidelity. What shamed him was that she had betrayed a friend. . . .
- "I could never have guessed that gambling with my soul could be less frightening then throwing away my heart."
This line makes the fic work for me; it shows how difficult it is for Will to do this. It's a bleak fic, but it works. I think their voices are both captured well, as well as the sense of Elizabeth being infinitely more "pirate" than Will. I hope Disney doesn't chicken out of doing something like this for #3...
(#) grissom500 2006-09-25 01:37:01 PMI think Will's reaction is very appropriate. I think as well that you captured their voices. I have one critism, I wonder if it wouldn't be better in third person. This story is really about two sides, and though Will is the one suffering the betrayl, Elizabeth killed a man and you wrote her pain through her dailouge well, and Will expressed his, so I'm not sure first person is nessiary.
It's a good story nonetheless. I genuinly enjoyed this, and I'm glad you made Elizabeth responsible with out making her the bad guy.
Thank you for writing this!
Author's responseYou know, I really hadn't thought about putting it in a different POV. Thanks for the suggestion. OH, and thanks for the review as well. Very kind of you!
- I feel there is a lot to be explained in the movie to come, but I do like your explanation. Will may be a touch dense at times, but he's never been a total idiot. He would know Elizabeth better than anyone else, and with his sense of honour, I think you captured that well.
Author's responseThank you so much! I think Will does know her very well--better than he'd probably like when it comes to her confusion with Jack. Thanks for the review!!!
- Bwahaha. Will gets his revenge, but I like the way he is more angry about how she deceived Capt. Jack rather than her just kissing him. Ahh, in my view Will and ELizabeth are a sickening couple to begin with, he should have broken it off and left her crying on the floor.
Ok, so, yeah. That was the bad grade I got on a quiz speaking.... >_>
(#) Malaika-Pyralis 2006-10-13 02:25:29 PMooohhh - I love it. The fact that Will confronts Elizabeth about what she has done . . . I was afraid that you would simply make her the antagonist, but you still gave her that hope for redemption. I thought that this was very much like a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode actually, but I still think that you captured the dichotomy of her decisions very well.
(#) Malaika-Pyralis 2006-10-13 02:25:42 PMooohhh - I love it. The fact that Will confronts Elizabeth about what she has done . . . I was afraid that you would simply make her the antagonist, but you still gave her that hope for redemption. I thought that this was very much like a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode actually, but I still think that you captured the dichotomy of her decisions very well.