Categories > Celebrities > Good Charlotte > Blessing or Burden (Joel & Benji Madden plus others)
Flashback Christmas '98
Normal p.o.v
'For heavens sake Benjamin would it kill you to smile' Robin asked peering over the camera at her son.
'I knew I was forgetting something' Benji said using his hands and pulling the corners of his mouth into a smile.
'Hurry up and take the picture Ma, I wanna open the presents' Joel whined
'Don't hurry me Joel, it's your brother who's holding everyone up' Robin answered.
'Benji stop messing around' you said firmly 'I want to open presents and eat.'
Benji finally settled down and Robin set the camera on auto and rushed round standing next to Josh just as the camera took the picture.
'Finally let's eat.' Benji said getting up and heading for the kitchen. Joel followed sticking his foot out and tripping Benji over.
'You're gonna be so sorry you did that' Benji said grabbing Joel and pulling him to the ground. You watch them rolling about the floor, laughing and punching each other before Josh stepped in and pulled them apart.
'That's enough ladies' he said holding them apart.
'Says who?' Joel and Benji said in unison grabbing Josh and wrestling him to the ground. Josh tried but failed to wrestle both the boys at the same time.
'A little help here people' he panted at Billy and Paul who were watching and laughing.
'Yeah London get in there' Paul said
'What! No way man' you replied giggling.
'DOG PILE' Paul screamed leaping onto the boys.
'Last chance Reign' Billy said motioning to the heap of arms and legs waving about on the floor.
'I'll pass' you said taking a few steps back.
'Your loss' Billy cried jumping onto the boys
You grab the camera and take a couple of pictures all the while listening to the yelps and laughter coming from them.
'Ow that's my eye' Billy cried elbowing Benji in the leg.
'Who bit me man that is not cool' you heard Paul shout.
You put the camera down and walk passed attempting not to tread on them. You thought you'd cleared the area, but you feel someone grab your ankle and pull you down.
Present time
Normal p.o.v
You pull your head out of the toilet bowl and shakily stand up. You turn the tap on full blast and splash your face and neck attempting to wash away the memories that were swimming around in your head. You turn off the tap and pat your face dry. You glance at your reflection in the mirror, your eyes are sunken in and bloodshot and your skin looks grey and dirty. You feel the bile rise up in your throat and you fall to the ground shoving your head in the toilet again.
Flashback Christmas '99
Benji's p.o.v.
'You thought you could escape huh' Josh said. I didn't know who he was talking about. I was too busy digging my elbow into someone's leg
'Dog pile on Reign' Josh screamed.
'No way get off me, you can't do this I'm a girl' I heard Reign scream under his weight.
'Since when' Joel answered back laughing and jumping on Josh
'I heard that' She cried.
'Owwwww, someone pinched me' Joel cried.
'Ouch' Joel I didn't pinch you' Billy cried trying to slap him back, but ended up hitting Josh in the back of his head.
'Someone's_tickling_me' Reign giggled. 'Stop it'
'Who's kicking me?' I called out, waving my hand around trying to hit someone.
'Enough' Reign screamed from underneath us 'Benjamin get these lot off of me or I'll go on strike...a sex strike'
'You can't do that' I answered not sure where she was.
'Oh really you just wait till tonight you'll be sooo sorry' she said digging her nails into my thigh.
'Holy crap, get off her man' I cried in panic 'my sex life's at stake.'
'I don't care about your sex life' Billy answered sucking his finger and sticking it in my ear.
'Arghh Billy you little fucker' I screamed grabbing what I thought was him and scraping my knuckles across his head.
'Ouch, that's my head' Paul said from somewhere beneath me.
'Alright that's enough' Josh said laughing and rolling out of the pile. We all fell out of the pile-allowing Reign to breath.
'I have to pee' I announced.
'You okay London' Joel asked helping her up.
'Yes I'm fine now' she said straightening her clothes and pushing him playfully.
'Ooh look where you two are standing' Sarah said coming into the room as I left.
Present time
Benji's p.o.v
I rinsed the vile taste of vomit from my mouth. I spat the last mouthful of water into the sink and watched it float down the plughole. I reluctantly looked at my reflection I looked like crap. I had eyeliner smudge across my face and dark circles under my red eyes. I closed my eyes trying to block out the flashbacks I was having, I felt my stomach churn and I dropped to the floor, heaving into the toilet bowl.
Flashback '99
Normal p.o.v
You look up at the ceiling and see the mistletoe hanging from the light fixture.
'oooh now you two have to kiss' Paul said
'No we don't' you said matter-of-factly
'Yeah we do it's the rules' Joel said pulling you close.
'Fine whatever' you say pecking him on the cheek.
'What was that?' he asked outraged
'It was a kiss' you relied smiling
'That was lame, I'm unsatisfied.' he pouted.
'I'm not here to satisfy you Joel that's Kara's job' you replied ruffling his hair.
'C'mon kiss me I'm your best friend' he said.
You rest your hands on his shoulders and peck him on the lips. 'There happy now?' you say pulling away.
'What the fuck is going on in here?' Benji stormed in pulling you away from Joel.
Present time.
Normal p.o.v
You stand up flushing the toilet again. You stumble over to the doorway using the frame to hold you up. You lean against it feeling the cold wood on your back. You stand up straight resting your head on the wall breathing deeply trying to calm your shaking body. You stagger through the door into the dark hallway making your way to your room; your head is aching from the sound of laughter and voices echoing through your mind. You fall through your bedroom door and crawl into your bed closing your eyes and wishing that this feeling and the voices would go away.
Flashback '99
Benji's p.o.v
'What the hell are you doing Reign?' I screamed at her 'why are kissing my brother?'
'Benji calm down, we were under the mistletoe' she said reaching out to touch me.
'Don't' I said batting her hand away 'how could you Joel?' I asked turning to face him.
'Baby relax it was just a kiss between friends, no harm was done.' Reign said from behind me I could hear the nervousness in her voice.
'So far there isn't' I threatened
'C'mon man calm down it was just a little Christmas cheer get into the spirit' Joel said putting his hand on my shoulder.
'Fuck you man, don't touch me' I said pushing Joel back.
'Benji stop it, that's enough you need to calm down?' Reign said standing in front of Joel.
'Get out the way Reign' I said pushing her aside.
'Hey, don't touch her man' Joel said pushing me angrily 'don't treat her like that.'
'Don't tell me what to do Joel' I said pushing him back.
'Or what?' he challenged.
'I'll do this' I said. I grabbed his head and kissed him right on the lips, holding his head tightly between my hands so he couldn't escape. I pushed him away after a couple of seconds.
'Errrrrr!! What the hell Benji that wasn't part of the plan' Joel cried stepping back.
'I know I was improvising'
'What by kissing me?' he said scrubbing his tongue on his shirt
'Yeah don't act like you didn't like it'
'That's nasty, that's incest man. Incest with twins' he shouted wiping his lips again.
'Twincest' Billy and Paul exclaimed in unison
'That whole thing was a joke' Reign cried. 'You bastards I was so scared. I thought you were going to hit him. Stop laughing it's not even funny.' She said looking at us.
'I'm sorry Reign, it was just a joke till Benji kissed me' Joel said hugging her 'We like winding you up, it brings us joy.'
'Dinners ready' Sarah called from the kitchen.
Paul, Joel, Billy and Josh stampeded into the kitchen leaving me with Reign.
Present time
Benji's p.o.v
I slumped down at the kitchen table, holding my head in my hands. I felt like was on a roller coaster my stomach was churning and my head was real messed up. I couldn't stop thinking about her and everything that we'd ever been through. I thought I'd be over her by now. I couldn't face going back to my empty bed. I folded my arms onto the table; using them as a pillow I rested my head on them and closed my eyes waiting for sleep to take over.
Flashback Christmas '99
Normal p.o.v
'I can't believe you' you said hitting Benji's shoulder.
'You should have seen your face' He said snaking his arms around your waist 'you looked scared girl.'
'I was scared I can't believe I fell for that I feel so stupid.' you said.
'See you have witnessed first hand just how talented Joel and I are.' he replied kissing you. You wrap your arms around his neck deepening the kiss. You pull away looking into his eyes. You loved moments like these when it was just the two of you.
'Benji are you happy?' you asked
'Yes I am, I'm very happy. Your happy right?' he said
'No I'm not happy, I'm blissful actually' you replied kissing him softly.
'I'm glad. I live to make you happy baby, but you know what would make me even happier?' he asked.
'I think I know' you say pressing your body against his.
'Mmm that's a good guess but I was actually thinking about food.' He said laughing
'Of course food first, Reign second' you stated pushing him away.
'I'm glad you agree that's how it should be between us' he said picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. 'Lets go eat I'm starving.'
Present time
Normal p.o.v
You sit up in bed and glance at the clock on the wall 12:00pm already. You slept through the whole morning but that had been happening a lot lately. Come to think of it you're not actually sure what day it is.
Your glad to be awake, it meant that you could control your thoughts and Benji and Joel would disappear. You throw your legs over the side of the bed and wiggle your ankle, it had been a week since the cast had been removed and replaced by a support bandage.
You wince as you remember the night before, the sound of yourself vomiting and the taste of it.
You get out of bed and head for the bathroom you can smell yourself and it isn't a pleasant scent at all.
'It's alive' Mikey exclaims when you walked into the living room.
'Hello to you too' you say sitting down in your favourite seat.
'How're you doing?'
'I'm good and you?' you ask
'I'm ok' he replies 'what you been up to lately?'
'Nothing special same old same old.' You say looking at him out of the corner of your eye. 'Mikey your acting like you haven't seen me in a week'
'I haven't seen you properly in three weeks and we live under the same roof.' he answers
'That's an exaggeration Mikey.'
'No, Reign it's not.' He says seriously
'Yes it is' you say folding your arms.
'Ok when was the last time you had dinner with us, or came to the studio with us or came out with us.' He questions.
'I dunno I don't keep track of these things'
'You can't keep track because you haven't done anything other then sleep and get drunk. You do the same thing everyday.' he says.
'Look I don't dump on your lifestyle Mikey' you retort.
'But that's the thing Reign yours isn't a lifestyle, it a death trap.'
'Whatever. Where are the others?' you say ignoring his last comment.
'I'm not sure where Ray and Bob are. Gerard and Frankie are with their girls' he answers.
'Gerard has a girlfriend' you say smiling.
'Err yeah, she comes over nearly everyday.' he says glaring at you.
'She does' you exclaim loudly 'are you sure? How comes I've never met her?' you say pouting.
'You have met her Reign her names Angela' Mikey says slightly annoyed.
'Are you sure? I think I would remember' you say with certainty.
'Trust me you've met her but you don't remember because you're so wasted you pass out or you fall asleep with your head in the toilet.' He answered matter-of- factly.
'That's not fair. I'll admit I'm a little out of it most of the time, but that doesn't mean I don't know what's going on around me.' You say feeling hurt.
'Ok Reign what day is it today?' Mikey asks innocently.
'wha...I kno...I'm not even going to answer that?' you retort stalling, while you think which day of the week it could be.
'That's because you don't know' He says seriously. 'The way you're living right now is not healthy. You don't do anything and you barely eat, look at yourself look how much weight you've lost. You sleep all day then you wake up you drink yourself back to sleep. I know you've been through a lot but you have to let it go and move on because it's destroying you. I hate seeing you like this we all do'
'Have you finished?' you say getting up, you've had enough of listening to him lecture you on how to live. You knew what he was saying was true and it hurts you to hear it.
'Yeah I have' he says looking slightly disappointed.
'Good, I'm going back to bed then, I guess I'll see you sometime next week.' You say marching out the room trying to block out the conversation.
Annapolis
Joel's p.o.v
'This has to stop' I said to Benji from across the table. I woke up that afternoon to find him sleeping on it.
'I know' he says rubbing his bloodshot eyes.
'I'm fucking tired of seeing you like this and I'm sure Billy and Paul are too. You have got to sort yourself out man coz I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.' I tell him honestly.
'I know I'm fucking up, I can't help it though' he replies.
'Well you'll have to Benji coz your messing it up for all of us, for me St Paul and Lil' Billy. You're drunk through all our practices, you sleep all day and when your awake you're moody and unapproachable, it's got to stop man.' I state handing him a bottle of water that I got from the fridge.
'I'm sorry I really am it's just I'm so messed up right now.' He explains accepting the drink. ' I hate coming home here and sleeping in the bed I shared with her. Everything in this apartment reminds me of her and when I drink I forget about everything and the pain goes away'
I've never seen him look so vulnerable, and so helpless. I looked at my big brother, my twin and felt the pain he was feeling.
'I'm gonna stop drinking Joel I promise I don't wanna keep messing things up for Billy and Paul' he says.
'I'm glad to hear it man. We'll do it together man just the two of us.' I reply encouragingly.
I watched him stand up and push his chair back under the table.
'Where you going?' I asked curiously.
'I got to get rid of all the alcohol, temptations a bitch you know.' He says.
Normal p.o.v
'For heavens sake Benjamin would it kill you to smile' Robin asked peering over the camera at her son.
'I knew I was forgetting something' Benji said using his hands and pulling the corners of his mouth into a smile.
'Hurry up and take the picture Ma, I wanna open the presents' Joel whined
'Don't hurry me Joel, it's your brother who's holding everyone up' Robin answered.
'Benji stop messing around' you said firmly 'I want to open presents and eat.'
Benji finally settled down and Robin set the camera on auto and rushed round standing next to Josh just as the camera took the picture.
'Finally let's eat.' Benji said getting up and heading for the kitchen. Joel followed sticking his foot out and tripping Benji over.
'You're gonna be so sorry you did that' Benji said grabbing Joel and pulling him to the ground. You watch them rolling about the floor, laughing and punching each other before Josh stepped in and pulled them apart.
'That's enough ladies' he said holding them apart.
'Says who?' Joel and Benji said in unison grabbing Josh and wrestling him to the ground. Josh tried but failed to wrestle both the boys at the same time.
'A little help here people' he panted at Billy and Paul who were watching and laughing.
'Yeah London get in there' Paul said
'What! No way man' you replied giggling.
'DOG PILE' Paul screamed leaping onto the boys.
'Last chance Reign' Billy said motioning to the heap of arms and legs waving about on the floor.
'I'll pass' you said taking a few steps back.
'Your loss' Billy cried jumping onto the boys
You grab the camera and take a couple of pictures all the while listening to the yelps and laughter coming from them.
'Ow that's my eye' Billy cried elbowing Benji in the leg.
'Who bit me man that is not cool' you heard Paul shout.
You put the camera down and walk passed attempting not to tread on them. You thought you'd cleared the area, but you feel someone grab your ankle and pull you down.
Present time
Normal p.o.v
You pull your head out of the toilet bowl and shakily stand up. You turn the tap on full blast and splash your face and neck attempting to wash away the memories that were swimming around in your head. You turn off the tap and pat your face dry. You glance at your reflection in the mirror, your eyes are sunken in and bloodshot and your skin looks grey and dirty. You feel the bile rise up in your throat and you fall to the ground shoving your head in the toilet again.
Flashback Christmas '99
Benji's p.o.v.
'You thought you could escape huh' Josh said. I didn't know who he was talking about. I was too busy digging my elbow into someone's leg
'Dog pile on Reign' Josh screamed.
'No way get off me, you can't do this I'm a girl' I heard Reign scream under his weight.
'Since when' Joel answered back laughing and jumping on Josh
'I heard that' She cried.
'Owwwww, someone pinched me' Joel cried.
'Ouch' Joel I didn't pinch you' Billy cried trying to slap him back, but ended up hitting Josh in the back of his head.
'Someone's_tickling_me' Reign giggled. 'Stop it'
'Who's kicking me?' I called out, waving my hand around trying to hit someone.
'Enough' Reign screamed from underneath us 'Benjamin get these lot off of me or I'll go on strike...a sex strike'
'You can't do that' I answered not sure where she was.
'Oh really you just wait till tonight you'll be sooo sorry' she said digging her nails into my thigh.
'Holy crap, get off her man' I cried in panic 'my sex life's at stake.'
'I don't care about your sex life' Billy answered sucking his finger and sticking it in my ear.
'Arghh Billy you little fucker' I screamed grabbing what I thought was him and scraping my knuckles across his head.
'Ouch, that's my head' Paul said from somewhere beneath me.
'Alright that's enough' Josh said laughing and rolling out of the pile. We all fell out of the pile-allowing Reign to breath.
'I have to pee' I announced.
'You okay London' Joel asked helping her up.
'Yes I'm fine now' she said straightening her clothes and pushing him playfully.
'Ooh look where you two are standing' Sarah said coming into the room as I left.
Present time
Benji's p.o.v
I rinsed the vile taste of vomit from my mouth. I spat the last mouthful of water into the sink and watched it float down the plughole. I reluctantly looked at my reflection I looked like crap. I had eyeliner smudge across my face and dark circles under my red eyes. I closed my eyes trying to block out the flashbacks I was having, I felt my stomach churn and I dropped to the floor, heaving into the toilet bowl.
Flashback '99
Normal p.o.v
You look up at the ceiling and see the mistletoe hanging from the light fixture.
'oooh now you two have to kiss' Paul said
'No we don't' you said matter-of-factly
'Yeah we do it's the rules' Joel said pulling you close.
'Fine whatever' you say pecking him on the cheek.
'What was that?' he asked outraged
'It was a kiss' you relied smiling
'That was lame, I'm unsatisfied.' he pouted.
'I'm not here to satisfy you Joel that's Kara's job' you replied ruffling his hair.
'C'mon kiss me I'm your best friend' he said.
You rest your hands on his shoulders and peck him on the lips. 'There happy now?' you say pulling away.
'What the fuck is going on in here?' Benji stormed in pulling you away from Joel.
Present time.
Normal p.o.v
You stand up flushing the toilet again. You stumble over to the doorway using the frame to hold you up. You lean against it feeling the cold wood on your back. You stand up straight resting your head on the wall breathing deeply trying to calm your shaking body. You stagger through the door into the dark hallway making your way to your room; your head is aching from the sound of laughter and voices echoing through your mind. You fall through your bedroom door and crawl into your bed closing your eyes and wishing that this feeling and the voices would go away.
Flashback '99
Benji's p.o.v
'What the hell are you doing Reign?' I screamed at her 'why are kissing my brother?'
'Benji calm down, we were under the mistletoe' she said reaching out to touch me.
'Don't' I said batting her hand away 'how could you Joel?' I asked turning to face him.
'Baby relax it was just a kiss between friends, no harm was done.' Reign said from behind me I could hear the nervousness in her voice.
'So far there isn't' I threatened
'C'mon man calm down it was just a little Christmas cheer get into the spirit' Joel said putting his hand on my shoulder.
'Fuck you man, don't touch me' I said pushing Joel back.
'Benji stop it, that's enough you need to calm down?' Reign said standing in front of Joel.
'Get out the way Reign' I said pushing her aside.
'Hey, don't touch her man' Joel said pushing me angrily 'don't treat her like that.'
'Don't tell me what to do Joel' I said pushing him back.
'Or what?' he challenged.
'I'll do this' I said. I grabbed his head and kissed him right on the lips, holding his head tightly between my hands so he couldn't escape. I pushed him away after a couple of seconds.
'Errrrrr!! What the hell Benji that wasn't part of the plan' Joel cried stepping back.
'I know I was improvising'
'What by kissing me?' he said scrubbing his tongue on his shirt
'Yeah don't act like you didn't like it'
'That's nasty, that's incest man. Incest with twins' he shouted wiping his lips again.
'Twincest' Billy and Paul exclaimed in unison
'That whole thing was a joke' Reign cried. 'You bastards I was so scared. I thought you were going to hit him. Stop laughing it's not even funny.' She said looking at us.
'I'm sorry Reign, it was just a joke till Benji kissed me' Joel said hugging her 'We like winding you up, it brings us joy.'
'Dinners ready' Sarah called from the kitchen.
Paul, Joel, Billy and Josh stampeded into the kitchen leaving me with Reign.
Present time
Benji's p.o.v
I slumped down at the kitchen table, holding my head in my hands. I felt like was on a roller coaster my stomach was churning and my head was real messed up. I couldn't stop thinking about her and everything that we'd ever been through. I thought I'd be over her by now. I couldn't face going back to my empty bed. I folded my arms onto the table; using them as a pillow I rested my head on them and closed my eyes waiting for sleep to take over.
Flashback Christmas '99
Normal p.o.v
'I can't believe you' you said hitting Benji's shoulder.
'You should have seen your face' He said snaking his arms around your waist 'you looked scared girl.'
'I was scared I can't believe I fell for that I feel so stupid.' you said.
'See you have witnessed first hand just how talented Joel and I are.' he replied kissing you. You wrap your arms around his neck deepening the kiss. You pull away looking into his eyes. You loved moments like these when it was just the two of you.
'Benji are you happy?' you asked
'Yes I am, I'm very happy. Your happy right?' he said
'No I'm not happy, I'm blissful actually' you replied kissing him softly.
'I'm glad. I live to make you happy baby, but you know what would make me even happier?' he asked.
'I think I know' you say pressing your body against his.
'Mmm that's a good guess but I was actually thinking about food.' He said laughing
'Of course food first, Reign second' you stated pushing him away.
'I'm glad you agree that's how it should be between us' he said picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. 'Lets go eat I'm starving.'
Present time
Normal p.o.v
You sit up in bed and glance at the clock on the wall 12:00pm already. You slept through the whole morning but that had been happening a lot lately. Come to think of it you're not actually sure what day it is.
Your glad to be awake, it meant that you could control your thoughts and Benji and Joel would disappear. You throw your legs over the side of the bed and wiggle your ankle, it had been a week since the cast had been removed and replaced by a support bandage.
You wince as you remember the night before, the sound of yourself vomiting and the taste of it.
You get out of bed and head for the bathroom you can smell yourself and it isn't a pleasant scent at all.
'It's alive' Mikey exclaims when you walked into the living room.
'Hello to you too' you say sitting down in your favourite seat.
'How're you doing?'
'I'm good and you?' you ask
'I'm ok' he replies 'what you been up to lately?'
'Nothing special same old same old.' You say looking at him out of the corner of your eye. 'Mikey your acting like you haven't seen me in a week'
'I haven't seen you properly in three weeks and we live under the same roof.' he answers
'That's an exaggeration Mikey.'
'No, Reign it's not.' He says seriously
'Yes it is' you say folding your arms.
'Ok when was the last time you had dinner with us, or came to the studio with us or came out with us.' He questions.
'I dunno I don't keep track of these things'
'You can't keep track because you haven't done anything other then sleep and get drunk. You do the same thing everyday.' he says.
'Look I don't dump on your lifestyle Mikey' you retort.
'But that's the thing Reign yours isn't a lifestyle, it a death trap.'
'Whatever. Where are the others?' you say ignoring his last comment.
'I'm not sure where Ray and Bob are. Gerard and Frankie are with their girls' he answers.
'Gerard has a girlfriend' you say smiling.
'Err yeah, she comes over nearly everyday.' he says glaring at you.
'She does' you exclaim loudly 'are you sure? How comes I've never met her?' you say pouting.
'You have met her Reign her names Angela' Mikey says slightly annoyed.
'Are you sure? I think I would remember' you say with certainty.
'Trust me you've met her but you don't remember because you're so wasted you pass out or you fall asleep with your head in the toilet.' He answered matter-of- factly.
'That's not fair. I'll admit I'm a little out of it most of the time, but that doesn't mean I don't know what's going on around me.' You say feeling hurt.
'Ok Reign what day is it today?' Mikey asks innocently.
'wha...I kno...I'm not even going to answer that?' you retort stalling, while you think which day of the week it could be.
'That's because you don't know' He says seriously. 'The way you're living right now is not healthy. You don't do anything and you barely eat, look at yourself look how much weight you've lost. You sleep all day then you wake up you drink yourself back to sleep. I know you've been through a lot but you have to let it go and move on because it's destroying you. I hate seeing you like this we all do'
'Have you finished?' you say getting up, you've had enough of listening to him lecture you on how to live. You knew what he was saying was true and it hurts you to hear it.
'Yeah I have' he says looking slightly disappointed.
'Good, I'm going back to bed then, I guess I'll see you sometime next week.' You say marching out the room trying to block out the conversation.
Annapolis
Joel's p.o.v
'This has to stop' I said to Benji from across the table. I woke up that afternoon to find him sleeping on it.
'I know' he says rubbing his bloodshot eyes.
'I'm fucking tired of seeing you like this and I'm sure Billy and Paul are too. You have got to sort yourself out man coz I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.' I tell him honestly.
'I know I'm fucking up, I can't help it though' he replies.
'Well you'll have to Benji coz your messing it up for all of us, for me St Paul and Lil' Billy. You're drunk through all our practices, you sleep all day and when your awake you're moody and unapproachable, it's got to stop man.' I state handing him a bottle of water that I got from the fridge.
'I'm sorry I really am it's just I'm so messed up right now.' He explains accepting the drink. ' I hate coming home here and sleeping in the bed I shared with her. Everything in this apartment reminds me of her and when I drink I forget about everything and the pain goes away'
I've never seen him look so vulnerable, and so helpless. I looked at my big brother, my twin and felt the pain he was feeling.
'I'm gonna stop drinking Joel I promise I don't wanna keep messing things up for Billy and Paul' he says.
'I'm glad to hear it man. We'll do it together man just the two of us.' I reply encouragingly.
I watched him stand up and push his chair back under the table.
'Where you going?' I asked curiously.
'I got to get rid of all the alcohol, temptations a bitch you know.' He says.
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