Categories > Original > Humor3 Reviews
The creature strode forward and he could see that it was wearing a large apron that used to be white, but was now smeared with an alarming amount of dark red. "Name's Mavis, but you can call me...
- Nice premise, but it could use a better setup. It starts as if I should already know who this guy is and what he's doing there. You don't have to spend five paragraphs describing the scene, but the action should reflect the fact that the readers don't necessarily know what's going on.
"Lose" is spelled with one o.