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The Devil's Kitchen

The creature strode forward and he could see that it was wearing a large apron that used to be white, but was now smeared with an alarming amount of dark red. "Name's Mavis, but you can call me...

Category: Humor - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters:  - Published: 2006/10/10 - Updated: 2006/10/11 - 1149 words - Complete

Reviews

• The Devil's Kitchen

  (#) Ithilwen 2006-10-11 09:44:48 PM

  Nice premise, but it could use a better setup. It starts as if I should already know who this guy is and what he's doing there. You don't have to spend five paragraphs describing the scene, but the action should reflect the fact that the readers don't necessarily know what's going on.
  
  "Lose" is spelled with one o.

• The Devil's Kitchen

  (#) Orual 2006-10-15 12:26:20 PM

  Heh, that was very strange, though it was fairly funny. Nice job of conveying what the boy was afraid of without actually saying it. Very creative.

  Author's response

  Thanks, I had fun tormenting him! >)

• The Devil's Kitchen

  (#) Dirk 2007-09-12 08:17:15 PM

  Heh heh Pretty engrossing and humorous. I'd have rather seen it doubled in length...the premise was a good one, and was well-written. It left me aching for more

  Author's response

  Well, thank ye, kind sir! I'm glad you liked it!

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