All road trip stories have a chapter that goes like this.
"Would it had killed you to go another two miles?" Billie Joe snapped opening the door to one of their two, cheap, crappy rooms.
Pete frowned at him. "Me? No. But her," he pointed to Dirnt, "Maybe."
Dirnt scowled. "It's not my fault! It's a medical condition!"
"So, how are we sleeping? Boys in one room, girls in the other?" Stoop asked.
Everyone looked at each other and ran into their respective rooms.
"I get this bed!" Pete declared, jumping onto the closest one.
"I get the other one!" Billie Joe yelled, pushing Patrick out of the way and practically flying onto the other.
"That's nice, but where the hell are we supposed to sleep?" Mike pointed out. "Move," he said bluntly and put his bag on Billie's bed.
Billie Joe shook his head. "What are you doing?"
"Bunking with you. Move over."
Joe, Andy and Patrick all looked at each other and started for Pete's bed.
Pete glared at them, but let Patrick set his stuff down. "Joe, Andy. You're on the floor."
Joe and Andy looked sad as they sank to the ground.
Tre' looked around and pouted. "I wanna sleep with Cheech."
Billie Joe got up and headed for the bathroom. He put a hand on Tre's head. "Well, I wanna sleep with Emma, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen."
"I want a room whose floor doesn't smell like cat piss." Joe complained.
Dirnt stuck her head in. "Does your room smell like cat piss too?"
"This whole fucking motel smells like cat piss." Mike groaned, falling back on the bed.
"Nice one, Pete!" Dirnt snapped and slammed the door.
A couple hours later
"Billie, Joe's raping me with his eyes," Tre' complained from his position on the floor next to Billie's side of the bed.
"Shut up, Tre'. You two aren't even close to each other." Billie Joe mumbled.
"Billie?" Tre' asked.
"I can't get to bed. Can I sleep with you and Mike?"
"There's no room."
"Hey, I have an idea. Shut up!" Pete snapped.
Billie Joe sighed. "Tre', if I let you up here will you be quiet?"
Tre' didn't say anything, but jumped in bed between his two band mates. He crawled under the covers and pulled them under his chin. "Can we have waffles tomorrow?"
"I don't care. Go to bed."
"You touch me and you won't live to see tomorrow, asswipe." Mike replied bluntly.
Tre' was quiet for a couple seconds. "If we can't have waffles, can we have pancakes?"
Early the next morning
Billie Joe opened his eyes reluctantly. Between Mike's snoring, Tre's kicking and Pete talking in his sleep, he barely got any sleep for himself. Pete's face appeared before him.
"Good morning!" Pete said somewhat cheerfully. "How'd you sleep?"
Billie Joe looked up at him and coughed up a cigarette butt.
"That good, huh?" he replied.
Billie Joe frowned. "Why are the fucking sheets wet?" he asked, then groaned, "Tre'."
Mike laughed. "It rained last night. The ceiling leaks."
"Which isn't too surprising, really," Patrick admitted, picking his stuff off the floor.
"Pete, I smell like cat piss," Joe whined.
"I hate to break this to you, Joe, but you've always smelled like cat piss." Pete pointed out.
"Are the girls up... argh!" Billie Joe asked before tripping over Andy.
There was a knock on their door. "Let's get out of this hell hole and get something to eat," Emma exclaimed through the door.
Billie Joe stood up and limped a couple steps. "Fuck," he hissed, then replied. "Give is a couple minutes!"
"Do you have water in your room?" Stoop asked, also through the door. "Our shower won't work, and I think there's a body in the bathtub."
"You could use ours, but Tre's taking a bath and God knows how long that's going to take," Mike said.
"Is there really a body in your bathtub?" Joe asked.
"It smells like it," Stoop replied.
"Cool!" he exclaimed and ran out the door to see it.