Early in their career-lonely Christmas for Steven and Joe just happens to be conveniently there
He walked along the snow-covered streets; he tried not to look at the Christmas lights that draped the windows. He tried not to look at the passer byes with their presents; he tried not to look at the kids eagerly looking through the shop windows at the new toys they all had their hearts set on.
It was too depressing. He wished that he could go back and have a nice warm family Christmas again-he never knew just how good he had it.
Steven pulled his collar up, and pushed the past away. He concentrated on the present problems he had. He hummed that damned tune again as he waited for the walk sign to change, then wondered just what Joe would end up making
for supper-probably beans and rice. He was about ready to go to the store and do five finger discount shopping. He'd kill for a juicy steak and a baked potato. He tried to think about something else besides food.
So he thought about the band-that was always on his mind. He was certain that if given half a chance Aerosmith would be the biggest band in the country-fuck the world. All they needed was a chance. He wasn't settling for being just a hometown hero-he wanted the world, he was sure by now that they would have it.
He knew he was tough with them, but they had to practice. It would be a lot better if they all could just focus all their attention on music instead of these dead end jobs. But they had to eat too. He wasn't meant to work in a bakery-he was born to be a singer-he was born to lead this band through the trenches of the music world.
He walked into the apartment and removed his coat. "Hey." He managed.
"Bad day?" Joey asked.
"Fuck yeah. I almost quit." He sat down. "That bastard Quall said he'd be handing out the bonuses, but-"
"Nope. He said the checks weren't ready, so Monday."
Joey gave a shrug, "Monday's not that far away."
Steven couldn't help but to let out a snarl. "Yeah but we needed that money yesterday."
"We'll get by." He answered then he sat down beside him.
"Goddamn cold weather." He snorted. "Where's my hand cream?"
Joey handed the tube to him.
"Between the Goddamn cold and that Goddamn dishwater," He rubbed the cream into his long dry hands, "I'm gonna peel like a snake."
"Bobby called and invited us to a party tonight."
"Oh yeah?" He was instantly energized. Bobby Baldwin always had good parties.
"Yeah a Christmas party over at his place."
"Fuck Christmas." He muttered.
"Come on Steven." Joey frowned at him. "What the hell crawled up your ass and died?"
"It's just been a long week." He rubbed the last of the cream into the back of his hands.
"And you need a better reason than that for a party? It'll be great!" Joey slapped him on the back. "Food and booze and chicks."
"Yeah-it'll be fun." Steven gave a nod. Joey was right-he did need a good weekend of partying. He knew if they played their cards right, Bobby would give them some food to bring back home.
Steven came back out of his room, ready for the night's festivities. He opted for a warm sweater and blue jeans. It was too damned cold to be dressed sexy. He walked out and saw the four of them decorating a Christmas tree. "What the hell?"
"Oh hey man." Joe barely looked at him.
"What do you think?" Brad looked at him as he held the string of lights for Tom.
"What are you doing?" He walked closer to the group.
"Decorating a tree." Joey answered.
"Yeah I know that you're decorating a tree." Steven felt himself frown. "Why did you buy a tree when we don't have a pot to piss in-"
Joe grinned. "We didn't buy it."
"So you stole it? If you gotta steal, steal something we can use!"
"Nah, well," Joe looked at Tom. "Yeah I guess technically we stole it."
"We we're driving along, and there was this tree in the road. It must have fallen off a truck." Tom began, "So me and Joe threw it on top of the van and brought it home."
"What about the lights and the stand? They fall off a truck too?" Steven crossed his arms.
"Girls upstairs let us borrow them."
"Oh." Steven said quietly. He did feel bad, being such a grinch. "It looks good."
"Yeah well," Joe stepped back, "It'd look better with some more lights but hell, it brightens up the place."
"We thought maybe it'd cheer you up." Tom said to him.
"Cheer me up?" Steven echoed. "I don't need cheering up. I'm fine, but thanks." He noticed that they had gotten too many lights around the top, but he let his observation pass. It was a nice gesture that they had made to him.
The five of them walked quickly down the streets to Bobby's. He was a friend of Joey's; he was an up and coming Wall Street wiz, then he dropped out of it as soon as he made enough money to live happily ever after on. He couldn't help being jealous: Must be nice get to go and do whatever the hell you wanna do whenever. Lucky bastard.
"You're pretty quiet." Joe said to him.
Steven shrugged. "Thinking."
"You always talk and think at the same time; all of a sudden you can't. What's up?" Tom teased.
He shrugged again, and let the remark slide.
Tom knocked twice on the door. He was about to knock again when the door opened revealing Bobby, dressed in a Santa Claus suit complete with hat. "HO! HO! HO! Come on in boys, " He smiled at them. "The girls have been asking bout you!"
They walked in and looked around, they had partied with most of them. Steven could feel his mouth water at the aroma of the food. He tried to be cool about it, and not act like he'd been living on stale bagels more often than he cared to remember.
He nibbled on a bit of smoked duck and some cheese. He was listening to Bobby when somebody shoved a glass into hiss hand. He turned and saw a young blond girl standing there. "You look like you need it."
"Yeah I do. Thanks." He took a drink; it was scotch and soda. He looked at her, "I'm Steven."
He found his friend for the night. He casually broke away from the guys and followed her into the hallway.
Joe looked around and gave a frown. "Where's-" then he saw them together. He didn't have to finish his thought.
"She's cute." Brad remarked.
"I've seen better." Joe shrugged.
"You sound jealous." Bobby smiled.
"Jealous?" He echoed. "I'm not jealous. There are a lot of better looking chicks in here than her."
Bobby smiled and handed him a joint.
Steven leaned against the wall, looking at her; she was going on about college or something. He wasn't really listening to her. He'd nod every once in a while to make her happy. He was busy thinking about just how long this was gonna take; how much would he have to listen to before she'd open her legs for him.
"So do you go to school?" She asked.
She caught him off guard; he was shocked that she remained quiet long enough for him to answer. "Nah I'm in a band."
"Oh. A band like Crosby, Stills and Nash?" she asked in an excited tone.
"Nah a rock band. Like Led Zeppelin or the Stones."
She gave a slow nod. He got the feeling that she didn't care much for Zeppelin or the Stones. Well at least she had a nice ass. He finished his drink, and then stood a little closer, "You wanna go somewhere private?"
"I like it here." And she began to go on and on about how great folk music was.
'Jesus Christ'-he thought to himself-'I picked a great one!' He looked over her shoulder watching Joe intently. He had found himself a nice little honey. He already had his shirt unbuttoned and brushing his hand through her hair.
He found Tom, he was talking to a guy and a dark haired girl. He was certain that Tom would get her by the end of the night; he just had that look in his eye-he wanted to nail this girl.
His eyes found Brad now. He was drinking a beer and laughing at one of Bobby's inane jokes. Just then this girl came up and basically wrapped her body around him. Lucky bastard.
Joey? Where's Joey? He felt himself frown as his eyes searched for him. He caught a flash of Joey's blue shirt. He was on the couch necking with a shorthaired blond. They were both trying to suck each other's face off.
"...I think that the problem with rock music is the over emphasis on sex. There's just too much sexual content and no real meaning in the lyrics-"
It was the only phrase of her lecture he heard. "Huh? Problem?" Steven looked at her. "What do you mean? Just sex?"
She was taken aback by his interruption. "Yeah, all rock music is 'I want sex.' There's more to life than sex."
"Well," she continued. "Take Crosby, Still and Nash; their songs convey a message. They're trying to make a difference in the world through their music-"
"The reason anybody ever joins a band is to get laid. If they say that they're trying to change the fucking world with a song-then they're liars!"
"So that's why you joined a band? Just to sleep around?" She asked in awe.
"That's the name of the game baby. Look around everybody's trying to get laid except for you."
Her expression was shock mixed with a little smudge of horror. "You mean all you want from me is sex?"
He gave a shrug. "Yeah."
She clenched her jaw and slapped his face, turned and stomped away. He rubbed the sting away-but he relished in the silence.
Then he heard Bobby laughed. "Bad luck Steven. Here's my special holiday concoction." He forced a joint into his hand. "Merry Christmas."
Steven nodded and Bobby was quickly gone. He took a long hit. Yeah it was special, he knew that immediately. It had to have been spiked with hash oil, experience told him that much.
As the hours went by, Steven watched Bobby's guest come and go. He sat on the steps of the darken foyer drinking another drink. He watched Tom disappear upstairs with the dark haired girl he'd been talking to-no big surprise. Where the guy had went to, fuck, he didn't know.
He'd lost track of Joey hours ago. Brad had said something to him about going with a Mona and left the party. Joe? He had to be around here somewhere.
He felt the effects of Bobby's 'Special Holiday Concoction' and some other pills clouding up his consciousness. It was actually getting hard for him to raise his glass to his mouth.
He thought about that girl-Laura, maybe he should have played along with her. At least he would have gotten laid tonight. He came to the conclusion: Laura was right, there was more to life than sex. Fuck, you don't need a sex
when you got food and booze and pills and a good joint. Women are just a headache-he couldn't seriously stay with her for another minute anyway. Not with that CONSTANT talking!
He sighed, the place was pretty quiet now: Silent Night, he mused. Every once in a while the silence was broken with the moans of the lovers upstairs. He knew one of them was Tom, he'd heard that cry before.
He felt his drink spill down his sweater; he numbly tried to wipe it away. That was too hard so he left it alone, but now he was drink less-fuck it all to hell. No pussy, no drinky. If it wasn't one fucking thing than it was another!
He got up slowly and made his way through the darkness to the dimly lit kitchen. He stopped and felt his lips part. He found Joe.
He was standing nude, kissing and caressing the girl he was talking to earlier-she was just as nude as he was. She was sitting on the table and had her shapely legs wrapped around his waist. Her arms were draped around his neck.
Steven took a silent step forward, still gawking at the scene. They were both so wrapped up in the moment that neither one of them realized he was there. The girl's back arched, and her head snapped back as she let out a high-pitched shriek; Joe began rocking into her.
Steven swallowed hard: He stood there, getting aroused, watching Joe making this girl scream her head off. He fucked just like he played guitar: He wasn't gentle. He was wild and wicked, just a pure stream of sexual energy.
Joe was now groaning and gasping for air; his glassy eyes met Steven for a second. He didn't do anything-it was like he looked right through him.
The girl finally ended up lying back on the table; her blond hair cascading over the edge of it. Joe leaned forward, catching his breath, then he ended up on top of her. He wrapped his arms around her, and looked up at him again. "What?"
Steven actually jumped. "Nothin." He made his way to the counter.
"Then get outta here." He snarled. "Show's over."
He snatched the bottle of scotch and looked over his shoulder at the lovers. Joe was cradling her, kissing her neck as his hand fondled her breast.
The girl finally noticed him. "Hey-" She pulled Joe closer to her, using him as a shield.
Joe glared at him again. "Goddamn it!" He shouted. "Me and Charlotte wanna be alone!"
"Then don't fuck on a kitchen table!" Steven shot back. He stormed out of the kitchen at went into the foyer. He made his way to the couch and flopped down on it.
Steven sat there fuming-it was an expected end to a horrible night. He got up and grabbed his coat-he'd had enough of Christmas. He walked out of the brownstone and headed back to Commonwealth.
"Hey you," He heard a voice call out. He turned hoping that it wasn't a cop. It was the dark haired guy. He came up to him. "Where are you going?"
"Home." He answered but he didn't really stop.
"You're gonna freeze out here!"
"I'll be fine."
"Bobby wants me to make sure that you guys make it home. Where do you live?"
"Commonwealth." Steven started walking again.
"It's this way." He pointed in the other direction.
"Yeah, you're going the wrong way."
Steven stopped and tried to get his bearings. He wasn't certain of anything. He was wishing that he'd grabbed the bottle of scotch, it was so damn cold out. He numbly went with him.
"I'm David; you're Steven, right?"
"Nice to meet you Steven." He hailed a taxi.
He thought about the price of the cab. He didn't have the money for the fare. "Hey I can walk-"
"No, I'm supposed to make sure that all of Joey's friends get back. You were with Joey Kramer, right?"
The cab pulled up, Steven numbly got in. He was glad to be sitting in a warm cab. He was shocked by the fact that he was walking the wrong way. "Did Joey already go home?"
"No, he went upstairs. Brad's the only one that left. Believe me man; he's gonna have fun with Mona. Hey have you seen Becky?" David asked.
"Becky?" Steven shook his head.
"Oh. I was talking to another girl, then I looked around and she was gone."
He had a pretty good idea, but he wasn't gonna say 'I think Tom's making her see God.' "Maybe she went with a girlfriend or something. You know how these chicks are."
"Yeah. I don't own her-she's her own person. What was your address?"
The cab pulled up, David opened the door for him. "Can you get to your apartment?"
He nodded. "Thanks man." The cab didn't pull away until he was safely in the front door.
He didn't have too much trouble remembering which floor he lived on. He was glad to get back there. He walked in and began to hang his coat up-when he found a plastic bag of weed. "Hmm," He didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. He smelled it, it seemed a lot like Bobby's Special. "Save this baby for later." And wadded it back into his pocket.
He got a couple of beers and sat on the couch. He looked at the Christmas tree, and marveled at the twinkling colored lights cutting through the darkness of the room. That was so fucking cool, the colors dancing around in his eyes. It was so incredible-he moved his head back and forth, but his mind went back to the show he'd just seen in that kitchen: Joe was a great lover-just like he was great guitarist.
Sex and music are linked, he'd always believed: If you're a passionate musician, then you're a passionate lover. Music-he'd always felt-was one of the best venues to convey emotions. What's the most powerful emotion? Love. What's the most powerful way to show love?
If you wanna see what make a person click, you gotta get them in the sack. He wondered about that with all of them. That's why he did them. He had slowly made his way into each of their beds. He wasn't gay. He'd always known he was straight-a good looking chick looking his way could make his dick harder than Pittsburgh steel. He had to fuck them for his music's sake, for the band's sake.
He finished his beer as he thought about each of his darlings. He actually had been with Joey before Aerosmith was even envisioned. They were at an outdoor concert, and accidentally met each other. They left their dates to go to a van and get even more stoned than they were. One thing led to another, and he wasn't sorry for it. He was surprised that Thumper had the stamina to ram him the way he did. He'd never had such a big cock throbbing up inside him: He could hardly walk for a day afterwards, but he decided that Joey was the drummer for his band.
He had jumped Brady almost as soon as he joined up. Brad was so sensitive and easygoing. He was a methodical, traditional player; he found out he was like that in the bed too. He was just a beautiful caring soul who liked to have his back rubbed before sex. He had done that for him; they had 69 twice one magical night.
He did feel a little guilty about it-Brad didn't look him in the eye for weeks afterwards. He really wanted to be with him again even just to have those arms holding him again, but he felt that Brad would rather quit than have the guilt. So he moved on.
Tom, hell he knew that was just an opportune moment. Tom was hurt, and he was there for him. He had been with him on more than one occasion-but usually Tom was just plain stone outta his mind. He was special; nobody made him howl like his Tommy. He was so caring, so kind, but he knew that this was like living on borrowed time. Tom liked the ladies; he wouldn't be alone forever.
He now understood them. Maybe they understood him, too maybe not. Hell he didn't care. He knew that the way he wrote the songs had changed forever.
He was lost in thought when he heard the door open. He looked around, not really sure who was home. Joe came into view. "So why'd you go?" He slurred as he tried to take his jacket off.
"I was bored."
He finally got his jacket off, and tossed it onto the floor. Steven almost laughed at him; his shirt was gone. "So you just sittin here?"
He managed to stand; thought for a second, "I was looking at the lights." He tipped his head again. "It's just so beautiful."
Joe joined him, and slowly moved his head side to side. "Yeah." He said in awe.
Steven frowned at him. "That girl, you said she was Charlotte."
"I dunno." Joe shrugged. "I woke up and she was gone."
Steven stood beside Joe as the two of them tilted their heads, watching the twinkling lights. He'd never seen anything like it. It was more incredible than any fireworks display he'd ever seen. "David bring you here?"
"Yeah, I think that was his name." Then the two of them stood there, tilting their heads to the left and right forward and back, mesmerized by twinkling Christmas lights.
"God, I'm dizzy." He said as he fell forward. Steven caught him but he couldn't hold up that dead weight, so he slowly let him slip down into a control fall.
Joe Perry was out cold. He stared at the lights reflecting off his chest. He was so incredibly sexy. He always thought that. He was just great; sexy long black hair that scowl. He just oozed sex.
Steven knelt beside him and ran his fingers over his face. He could smell an intoxicating mix of cigarette and pot smoke, whiskey and beer, aftershave and perfume, sweat and sex. He stared at him for a long time. He thumbed those thin lips; and cradled his jaw under his fingers. Joe was a handsome man-in a strong Italian way even though he was quick to point out he was mostly Portuguese.
Fuck the details.
He thought about their musical friendship. Music was very important to him; his friendship was important too. He wanted to know what made Joe click: What the hell was going on in his head? He was the last one...You gotta make hay while the sun's shining.
He leaned down and gave him a kiss on his lips. "This would be more fun if you were awake." He muttered. He carefully ran his hand over Joe's chest and stomach. He slowly drew his fingers near his zipper. He began to pull it
down thinking about just copping a quick feel.
Just a quick feel-no way! He was shocked by what he saw; so near, so tempting. His fingers slowly went over Joe's cock; he was impressive-long and thick. He had a good set of balls on him too. He couldn't help but to cup them in his hand and feel them. He wanted to put them in his mouth and grind them between his teeth. He did.
He then looked at Joe's cock-he gave it a hard rub with the rough part of his tongue, then he kissed his helmet. He toyed with the idea of blowing him while he was unconscious. He wrapped his lips around and began to suck...
Joe suddenly sat up. "What the fuck?"
Steven quickly sat back up. "Oh! Hey Joe you startled me!"
"I startled you?" He asked in disbelief.
"Well yeah." He felt himself nod.
Joe looked at his exposed still aroused cock and then back at Steven.
"Nothing." He quickly repeated even thought he wasn't asked.
Joe sat up completely, Steven was wondering just how he was gonna talk his way outta this. They couldn't lose Joe. If they lost that guitar, fuck-he didn't want to think about it.
They sat there a few tense seconds: Joe narrowed his eyes at him and Steven waited for the accusation: 'What was your mouth doing near my crotch?'
"What happen to your sweater?"
Steven looked down, "I didn't hit my mouth."
"That's hard to believe as big as it is."
He wanted to give a slam back, but he didn't have the guts to do it. He simply smiled and looked away.
"Maybe you should take it off." Joe's fingers touched the soaked sweater.
"Why?" His eyes met his.
"It's wet, you don't wanna get a cold. Take it off and put it on the couch to dry."
He did and shuddered. "It's kinda cold in here, isn't it?"
Joe chuckled. "You're really something, you know that."
"Something?" Steven frowned a little. "Like a piece of shit?"
Joe shook his head. "Nah, you're just incredible." He grabbed the can of beer off the floor and took a glug.
'Incredible? Hmm, maybe I'm not in that much trouble...'Steven thought to himself.
"I think I'm gonna lie back down." Joe went back onto the floor. Steven leaned over him again. He called his name a couple of times, but Joe was out again.
Steven laid himself across Joe's chest. He was so warm, compared to this damned cold floor. He sighed as his fingers played with Joe's hair, when he suddenly felt an arm go around his body. That was a shock. His head went up a bit, and looked into the guitarist face.
Their lips were so close together. They both just stayed there looking at each other. They could both feel the others warm breath on their faces.
It was mutual-they began kissing. He felt his warmth cut through the chilled air of the room. He felt Joe's arms wrapping tighter around his body. He did the same. Steven shoved his tongue into Joe's mouth. He didn't fight him.
Their lips parted, Steven felt himself trying to catch his breath.
"Why were you touching me?" Joe asked between his pants.
He sat up and shrugged. "I guess I just wanted to."
"Can I touch you?" Joe too sat up.
Steven just stared at him; he couldn't believe his luck!
"Can I?" Joe blinked at him.
Steven gave a nod and he tried to unzip his own jeans.
"I'll get it." Joe said and gave the tab a pull. He kept his eyes on Steven's as his hand slipped into the fly and gave him a tug.
He felt his stomach tighten. He took Joe back into his own hands and gently kneaded him. Joe gave a sigh and smiled. "So what do you think?"
Steven smiled back. He gave Joe a kiss on his chest. "I want you."
"Yeah I want you to fuck me. Fuck me like you did Charlotte."
He nuzzled into Steven's neck but remained quiet.
"Joe I want you to fuck me hard." All these fantasies came into his mind. "I want you to use me."
"What do you want?"
"Make me your slave." Steven said in a low tone.
Joe smiled at him and began to tug at Steven's jeans. He got them down to his knees, then Steven kicked them off. He knelt in front of Joe and began kissing him again; he felt Joe's hand pull away his underwear. His hand then cupped his balls and fondled them.
Steven did the same. They were both nude, on their knees, fondling and caressing each other. His tongue licked at Joe's shoulder, then he slowly moved up his face. Steven managed to look around, he knew what was needed, it was just finding it...He leaned over and grabbed the tube of hand cream from beside the table. "I want you so bad." He continued kissing Joe and unscrewing the small top; he squeezed a generous amount into his hand, and began to rub Joe's dick down.
Joe gave a gasped, "Oh yah I want you too." He just took long enough to say it then returned to kissing him furiously. Suddenly Joe pushed him down so he was on all fours. It startled him-but only for a second.
He felt Joe now on top of him, pushing himself deeper and deeper inside. He felt himself shudder as Joe made his soul catch on fire. Steven's hands clenched at nothing-he ended up pounding at the cold wooden floor.
He felt Joe's large calloused hands on his shoulders using them for leverage. He cried out as Joe began to thrust harder and harder into him.
Now Joe grasped his dick and began to jerk him as he rocked more and more. Steven couldn't help but to let out a growl, then it hit both of them.
He heard Joe crying out as he rammed him harder and harder. He grunted and cried too as Joe kept jerking and ramming in perfect time.
Joe was done; Steven was too. He pulled out then Steven fell to his side and looked at him. Joe wiped his brow and drew a deep breath; he gave a halfhearted smile then went down, exhausted onto the floor.
Steven wasn't in much better shape-he could still hear his heart pounding in his ears, still trying to catch his breath. He felt Joe crawl onto the top of him, and give his shoulder a kiss. "How was that babe?"
He ran his fingers through that hair once more, "God Joe-Joe I love you." He found himself saying it out loud.
He laughed. "What'd you call me?"
"Joe-Joe." He looked at him and smiled. "You're my Joe-Joe."
"I like it. I like the way you say it." He put his arm around him and gave him a kiss on the forehead. He fell asleep in the warm loving arms of his Joe-Joe.
Steven woke up alone on the wooden floor, his eyes trying to make out something...Oh the Christmas lights. He must have only been out for an hour, or maybe all day. It was still dark. He looked over at the mess on the floor. He didn't realize that he'd sprayed like that-but of course he did. Joe worked him over good.
He got up and got his underwear and jeans on-these weren't his jeans, they were Joe's. He looked around-Joe was on the couch sound asleep. Damn it. He must have just grabbed a pair. Silently Steven put on the jeans and zipped up. He made his way to the kitchen.
He took some paper towels and tried to clean the come as best as he could. At least it wasn't dry yet. Then he felt himself shudder from the cold. He thought about going to his room, but he was exhausted, so he began to search for his sweater. He didn't care if it was wet; it had to be better than being half naked.
He found it-Joe was lying on top of it. He went over and gave the sleeve a tug trying to pull it away and not wake him up. It didn't work. Joe Perry was like a bear when he first woke up, even on a good day. "What the hell? What are you doing?"
"I'm trying," Steven began, "To get my sweater."
Joe arched his back just enough to pull it away. "Why'd you take it off?" He asked angrily.
"You told me to."
He threw it at him, with just as much anger. "Why would I do that?" He rolled back onto his side.
Steven pulled it on, and retrieved his warm beer. He thought again about what happened under this tree. He sat down in the armchair and looked over at his newest darling, "You did what I wanted." He said in a low tone, but Joe didn't respond. "You made me your slave."
He wondered just what made him click? He knew instantly about the others, but not this one. He didn't know any more about Joe Perry than he did when he first met him, or a year ago, or yesterday. This one was...different. This wasn't sex-this was love.
Steven had never been so happy with anyone-man or woman. He never meant for this to happen, but it did. He just wanted to see what kind of person he was; he never meant to fall for him. Fuck, you play with fire you're gonna get burned.
He watched him sleeping away, and silently thanked God for this Christmas present and silently promised that he would never ever asked for another thing as long as he lived.