A conversation between 006 and 007.
Comments: inspired by 'tomorrow never dies' and my fic 'normal day'.
Disclaimer: James Bond is the creation of Ian Fleming. The characters in the story are the property of Ian Fleming and the filming companies that produce Bond Films (United Artists, MGM, Eon). No copyright infringement intended. No profit is gained by this work.
Written Nov 2003
Alec took a large sip of his cocktail while watching James through half closed eyes.
James dropped another ice cube into his long drink and asked, "How did you find Q's new gimmick?"
"Which one?" Amusement tugged at the corners of Alec's lips, as he noticed the change of topic. But asking James about his true feelings for the women he bedded had always been a touchy subject.
"The voice integrated into the car."
"Ah, that one. Distracting, especially since it's still in the experimental phase."
"Yes. It kept stuttering 'legal tempo limit reached.' " Bond grinned.
Alec did not smile back. "Great. Mine constantly lectured me to fasten the seat belt." He reached for the last chilli and bit into it, dripping oil and vinegar over his chin and on the table. Cursing, he grabbed a napkin.
James frowned and tilted his head. "Oh?"
"Hard to do when stuck in the car's window with my feet still out and the car racing at some speed."
James raised both eyebrows. "Why did you do that?"
"More chillies?" Alec rose and went to the counter. He stayed there a bit longer than necessary. Moments later he placed a full bowl on the table. He ate two in a row and then turned to his drink. "The cocktail isn't too bad."
"So how did you end up in the window?"
Alec turned up his mouth. "You know me too well." He crushed another chilli. "OK, if you want to hear the whole story...Everything was fine with the mission - and the car - until Thursday, when I parked in that new underground car park at the Thames. I was with Maxi, when -"
"Sex in the car, Alec?" James chuckled. "Where has your style gone to?"
"Did she at least look good?"
"He was a contact - a frightened one to be precise. And just as I had calmed him enough, that car -"
"He?" James laughed uncontrollably. "And you calmed him enough?"
"James." Alec glared at him. "Not what you think."
"And what do I think?" James looked like innocence personified.
Alec sighed. Most probably what I want to do right now. Silence you by sealing your lips with mine. He cleared his throat. "Never mind." Another chilli disappeared in his mouth. "As I said, just as I had calmed him enough - by talking, mind you - that car said 'fasten your seat belt.' Right in that deep, eerie, male voice. A split second later the doors inadvertently locked, only to open again. Maxi dashed off in a panic."
"Guess he thought you wanted him strapped tight to the seat." James erupted into another burst of laughter. "I would have run for my skin as well."
"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind then." Alec could have slapped himself. That was not supposed to come out loud. On any other occasion the expression on James' face would have been hilarious, right now Alec wanted to move on with the story as fast as possible - away from that remark. "You wanted to hear the story, right?"
"Right." With the grin still tugging at the corners of his mouth, James straightened his posture and leaned forward once more.
"I chased after him. Just at that moment he ran out of luck and into his pursuers. He was dragged into a pick-up. A fist connected with my temple at the wrong moment and I saw stars."
"Fortunately not. My back-up was in time."
"At least something."
Alec nodded. "Anyway, I woke up in the back of my car with the acrylic glass separator up. They locked the wheel, dumped a stone on the accelerator pedal and wished me bon voyage. I was racing down a straight proving ground with no way to stop and a thick forest ahead. Jumping out was not an option at that speed."
"Great. Just what one needs. How did you get out of that situation?"
"They forgot to close the window of the passenger seat. I crawled out in the back and into that one. Problem was it was only half-open and refused to open further. It was a tight squeeze in. It took me a while to get that car to stop. And all of the time that voice kept reminding me to 'fasten your seat belt.' "
"You know, your car just wanted to prove itself and all of its new gadgets with another test."
"Looks like it."
A waitress approached and placed fresh exotic drinks in front of them. James must have signalled her over. Fascinated Alec watched the colours swirl and mix in the glass in front of him. Glancing over to his friend, he noticed the way James' pupils had dilated. He followed his line of view. The waitress was the centre of his attention. Well, she did have sex appeal. No doubt, James was already planning his night. Too bad he never considered the opportunities in arm's reach or men in general. Alec gave a small sigh that drew James' attention back to their conversation.
James took a sip of his tropical long drink. "Well, I won't hear that voice anymore. The car is history."
Alec chuckled. "I won't hear it either."
James' look and voice conveyed disbelieve. "You wrecked your car, too?"
"No. I ripped out the wire."