Categories > Anime/Manga > Yu-Gi-Oh! > Happy Squirrel Lodge

Are We There Yet?

by YamiRoojii 0 reviews

A nice relaxing break in a woodland lodge. What could possibly go wrong?

Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Duke Devlin, Ishizu Ishtar, Joey Wheeler, Mai Valentine, Marik Ishtar, Mokuba Kaiba, Ryou Bakura, Serenity Wheeler, Seto Kaiba, Tea Gardner, Tristan Taylor, Yami Bakura, Yami Yugi, Yugi Mutou - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2006-11-21 - Updated: 2006-11-21 - 1616 words

0Unrated
"For the love of Ra make it start!" Marik yelled.

"I'm trying!" Yami snapped back, turning the key in the ignition, only for the car to make the same spluttering noise as on his previous attempts.

"The others are probably half way there by now" Tristan grumbled. He wasn't in a particularly good mood. You wouldn't be either if you were stuck in a very small car between two psychotic Yami's.

"Oh come on Tristan" Tea said, twisting round so she could see him "It's hardly Yami's fault the car won't start".

"It's his piece of crap car isn't it" Marik snarled.

"Where are we going, are we going to the moon? I've always wanted to go to the moon, can we go to the moon?" Bakura babbled.

"Look, it'll start eventually, it always does" Yami sighed, trying the ignition again.

"Is there no other way we can get there?" Tristan asked impatiently, "Does anyone else have a car we can use?"

"Mine's in the garage at the moment" Marik said, shaking his head in annoyance.

"What's wrong with it" Tea inquired, keen for the arguing to stop.

"Hit too many pedestrians, the bumper finally gave up" Marik answered, grinning evilly.

Frowning, she turned to face the front again. There was no point in lecturing him. He was about as likely to listen as Bakura was to bathe.

"Please can we go to the moon, I'll be a good boy" Bakura whined, throwing himself on Tristan.

"Aaah, get it off!" Tristan cried, desperately trying to pry the uncharacteristically clingy tomb robber off him.

"AHA!" Yami yelled in triumph as the engine spluttered to life.

So, thirty five minutes after everyone else, they set off on their vacation.

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"Who wants snacks?" Joey asked, rummaging in his rucksack for candy bars.

"Ooh, me, me, me" Mokuba cried, his eyes lighting up.

"No, Mokie. You know what sugar does to you" Seto said sternly.

"Aw come on, one candy bar won't do anything!" Mokuba protested, sticking out his bottom lip.

"We both know that's not true, if one marshmallow can make you sing 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' then soil yourself I dread to think what a whole candy bar would do" Seto said, raising an eyebrow.

"Do you have anything raspberry flavoured?" Ishizu asked as Mokuba sank into a moody sulk beside her.

"Yup, here ya go" Joey said, passing her the candy.

"Thank you" Ishizu smiled, trying to open it with one hand and not look away from the road for too long.

"Mai?" Joey asked, holding out a selection for her to inspect.

"No thanks, I have to watch my figure" Mai replied, looking down her nose at the calorie loaded sweets in Joey's hands.

"Kaiba?" Joey said hesitantly.

Seto stared at him coldly for a moment then blushed slightly as his stomach let out a low gurgling sound.

"Do you have any Smores?" he asked quietly.

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"Uh, should you really be driving this fast?" Ryou asked nervously, glancing out the window at the green blurs that should have looked like trees.

"Relax man, we're totally safe" Duke laughed, winking at Serenity.

She smiled warmly in response, totally oblivious to his flirting.

"Duke, I really think you should slow down a bit" Yugi said firmly.

"Oh come on, I've never had an accident...well except that one time...but that totally wasn't my fault!" Duke said, slamming on the brakes to screech round a sharp bend.

"Oh Ra, I think I'm gonna puke" Malik said weakly, his face turning a nasty shade of green not unlike that of Yami's car.

"Pull over, quick!" Ryou said frantically.

"He'll be fine, just open a window or something" Duke said dismissively, flying round another corner at 130 Mph.

This was too much for Malik.

No longer able to hold it in, he tried to stem the flow with his hand. Unfortunately instead of keeping it in, this just caused it to spray in every direction. By the time he stopped it was dripping from the roof.

"Ok, I think I'm going to be sick now" Ryou whimpered, having caught most of it because he was sitting next to the source.

Muttering darkly about the state of his leather interior, Duke finally pulled over.

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"Who wants to sing car songs?" Tea asked cheerfully, trying to dispel the silence that had plagued them for the last ten miles.

"I would rather stick a flaming cactus up my behind" Marik snarled.

"Oooh, can I watch, I've never seen anyone do that!" Bakura cried happily.

"How much longer is he going to be like that?" Marik frowned, poking Bakura in the eye as he tried to get closer.

"Hopefully not too much longer, he seems to have stopped fidgeting at least" Tea observed.

"Ow! You're the meanest talking Christmas tree I've ever met!" Bakura huffed, rubbing his wounded eye.

If Yami hadn't turned round a particularly sharp bend at that moment Bakura would have been dead for sure. As it was, Marik was thrown against the window and no one noticed his failed lunge at the tomb robber.

"How about 'The Wheels on The Bus'?" Tea persisted.

"That's not a car song, it's a bus song" Tristan said, trying to ignore Bakura, who had started blowing raspberries in his ear.

Tea gave him a scathing look then turned to the front again.

"Hah, look's like someone didn't know how to drive properly" Tristan smirked, pointing out the window at the crash barrier which had a gaping hole in it. Beyond the barrier was a steep wooded slope so they couldn't see if there was still a car there.

"Oh how horrible!" Tea cried "I hope no one was hurt".

"I do" Marik said quietly.

Not quietly enough.

"How can you say something so nasty?" Tea frowned.

"How can you think that sweater looks good with those pants?" Marik countered.

"How dare you, you immature thug!"

"Shut up you flat chested bitch!"

"Pig!"

"Airhead!"

"Retard!"

"Fatty!"

"For the love of Ra, shut up! You sound like a couple of five year olds!" Yami yelled, his left eye starting to twitch.

Tea pouted and stared out the window, Marik sneered at the back of Yami's head and stuck his tongue out.

"I saw that!" Yami growled.

"What, how?!" Marik demanded.

"The mirror you dunce" Tristan said, completely forgetting who he was talking to.

"What did you just say?" Marik said in a slow, menacing voice.

"Uh, nothing" Tristan laughed nervously.

"He called you a dunce" Bakura said loudly.

Tea jumped violently as the back seat exploded into action.

"I can't believe I agreed to two weeks of this" Yami said tiredly.

"I'm sure they'll calm down once we get out of the car" Tea said soothingly, ducking as a shoe sailed over her head.

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"What the hell are we supposed to do now!" Seto yelled angrily, kicking the back of the car, which was currently wrapped around a tree half way down a steep slope, smoke pouring out of the crumpled engine.

"Getting' angry ain't gonna help anyone Kaiba so do us all a favour and shut da hell up" Joey snapped.

"Please forgive me" Ishizu said for the hundredth time.

"Hey it's not you're fault" Mokuba soothed.

"What are you talking about! Of course it's her fault!" Seto practically screeched "She should have just flattened the god damn thing like any normal person would have!"

"But it was a Hondo Stoat!" Ishizu gasped in horror "They are rare as it is, I would never dream of killing one".

Seto stared at her in disbelief. "So you won't run over a Stoat but you'll drive us over the edge of the road. You do realise there's a two hundred foot drop at the bottom of this slope and that if that tree hadn't got in the way we'd all be dead, don't you?" he hissed.

Ishizu's suddenly pale face clearly stated that she hadn't.

"Come on Seto, leave her alone, you're not exactly the most responsible driver in the world" Mokuba said, poking his brother in the ribs.

"I don't know what you mean" Seto said, avoiding Mokuba's eyes.

"Oh really? So you don't remember the time you spilled coke all over the dashboard, swerved all over the road trying to wipe it up then crashed through the fence of a primary school playground at lunch time?"

"No" Seto said, coughing and turning away.

"Yo, guys, I tink we're gonna have t' hitch hike" Joey interrupted.

"Yeah, if we don't get going now it's going to be dark by the time we get to the cabin" Mai said, setting off for the road.

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"Right, if I see you lift your head from that bucket I'll throw you out of the car, understand?" Duke said as they all got back in.

Malik nodded and hunched over his bucket obediently.

It had taken nearly half an hour to wipe up all the sick and Ryou was now wearing a different outfit. His original one had been so drenched that they'd ripped it up and used it to clean the car.

"How much further is it?" Yugi yawned.

"If there are no more interruptions we should be there in about two hours" Duke said, shooting Malik a nasty look.

"Good, I really, really need to shower" Serenity said, shuddering at the thought of what had been on her.

"Sorry Serenity but I'm going first" Ryou said "I keep finding chunks in my hair". Winding down the window, he disposed of his latest discovery.

"Can we change the subject please?" Malik asked as Duke pulled the car back out onto the road.

"Sorry" Ryou and Serenity said in unison.
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