A hoarse voice whispered in my ear.
"I have a fucking headache."
I turned around to face Brendon. He peered at me, unable to open his eyes fully.
"I wish I hadn't fallen asleep so soon last night. I wanted to give you a good bye fuck."
"It wasn't the sleep Brendon, it was the alcohol."
"Or maybe you just didn't turn me on enough."
He grinned. I was really going to miss him.
"What time is it?"
"6:30. You have to get up to go to that interview."
"But I thought the radio crew was coming here."
"They are, but you still can't go there naked."
"Oh, well don't go anywhere, I'll be back soon."
He got up and went to the bathroom. I snuggled under the covers, his smell filling my nose. I smiled to myself. What had I gotten myself into? I knew I couldn't hope that we could live happily ever after. This was just a fling. But why did I feel a tear prickle down my cheek? Why was I so scared of letting him go?
"Are you crying?"
Brendon was leaning over me. I shook my head as I wiped the tear away.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'll miss you too."
I bit my lower lip as he brushed his nose against mine.
"I don't want to go, but promise you'll be here when I get back? It won't take that long I hope."
I nodded and he kissed me briefly on the lips before disappearing through the door.
"I can not believe it's been two weeks since you got here."
We were sitting on the tour bus, making our way to next city, the city I'd be getting off the bus and not returning.
"I feel so bad because we were so mean to begin with."
"Yeah, especially Brendon, he was a bitch."
"Will you ever join us again?"
It was a sincere question from Ryan.
"Probably not, unless you invite me someday."
There was a silence. Everyone was lost for words. Until it looked like Spencer had been switched on.
"Hey Ryan, what happened between you and that girl last night?"
Ryan blushed and looked down, fidgeting with the trim of his sweater.
"You had sex! Dude, you so totally got some."
Ryan slowly shook his head before breaking out in a grin.
"You cheeky bastard!"
"Wait, did he or didn't he?"
"I did. It was awesome!"
"You don't strike me as a one-night-stand kind of guy."
"I'm not, I got her number."
There was a big yawn from Jon.
"I'm sorry, but I'm going to go to bed. I still have a terrible hang-over."
"Teaches you not to drink so much."
"You know, I'm going to join him."
Jon stared at Spencer.
"I'm not joining you in the bunk; I'm just going to sleep!"
I stood up and stretched. I had a terrible headache too.
"I'm going to lie down as well. My head is killing me."
Brendon and Ryan just nodded and sat behind as I made my way towards the bunks.
I tossed and turned as I couldn't sleep. I had given up trying to keep my eyes closed as all that popped into my mind was Brendon. The curtains were drawn back and Brendon climbed in, only wearing his boxers.
"What are you doing?"
He put a finger on my lips as he lay down on top of me.
"I'm going to try to have tour bus sex. Want to join me?"
"Is that a question Brendon?"
He shook his head and leaned in to kiss me. I parted my lips slightly, allowing his tongue to enter. He smiled as he noticed I was only wearing panties and a t-shirt. He pulled the covers over him before pulling my t-shirt of. He kissed down my neckline and down to my breasts. He sucked on each nipple before making his way back up to my lips. His lips stayed on mine as he removed the last reminder of our clothing. It felt so good having his warm body pressed against mine.
"Are you sure you can keep it quiet?"
"Nope, but I'll try."
He grinned as he licked my lips. He held my hips down while he penetrated me. A small moan nearly escaped my lips but Brendon stopped it by kissing me firmly. He held my hips as he thrust into me, his speed rapidly growing. I wanted to thrust my hips up to meet his, but he made it impossible for me by holding me down.
My back arched and my nails dug into his back as I fought the urge to moan loudly, Brendon was also having a hard time controlling himself. I pulled his face towards mine and our lips crashed as I felt that tingling sensation spreading out, I almost let out a moan but it was suffocated by Brendon's mouth that covered mine. I felt him release inside me before he collapsed on top of me.
I wrapped my arms around his neck as we tried to catch our breath. He kissed me lightly before reaching for his boxers and putting them on. He quietly climbed out and closed the curtains behind him. I let out a sigh and started to put on my clothing too. I really needed a beer.
The lounge area was empty, so I didn't care if I really was just wearing my panties and a tank top. I helped myself to a bottle of beer and sat down on the couch. I reached out for my laptop and opened it. I could at least try to do some work. I was so engrossed in my work, once I started things just got flowing, that I didn't notice them coming into the lounge, one by one, and sitting on the couch next to me. When I eventually looked up I noticed them watching my screen.
"I like that picture."
"I preferred the other one, I looked hot in it."
"I always look hot."
"We know Jon, we know."
"Really? Then why aren't I the front man?"
"Because Brendon appeals to both boys and girls. You just appeal to girls."
"But you think I'm hot, right?"
"Jon, Ryan isn't a boy. I thought you knew that."
"But... But how could he have had sex then?"
Spencer and Brendon burst out laughing.
"You aren't the brightest one, are you Jon?"
"The bright what?"
I just shook my head. He was so slow at times.
"Does anyone know what time it is?"
"I heard it was noon, but that was awhile ago."
"You're always hungry, where do you put all that food?"
Ryan lifted his t-shirt to reveal his tummy. He grabbed as much flesh as he could, but there really wasn't that much there.
Brendon just shook his head.
"Dude, stop showing your tummy, no one likes to see your fat."
Day went by in a daze and before I knew we were outside the venue the boys were supposed to perform at in two hours. I walked in after the guys, for some reason holding Brendon's hand. He let go when few fan girls spotted them and I quietly got in to venue.
They were all cheery and laughing when they walked into the dressing room where I was waiting with my camera. I snapped few of them when they were getting in and putting on their make-up. They looked happy, content, like it was nothing more they wanted then to go onstage and play their music. Brendon kept glancing at me, an unsure look on his face. I just smiled. I was going to enjoy this last night, not mope around.
I left the dressing room half an hour before they were due on stage. I wanted a good spot so I could take decent pictures. The fans I stumbled past were all anticipating Panic!'s performance and I couldn't blame them. The show was really amazing. I finally got the perfect spot so all I had to do was wait.
My bags were already in the taxi, so all I had to do was say goodbye to the guys. Spencer and Ryan were in hurry, they said, to meet up with the fans so I just gave them I quick goodbye hug before they were out the door. Jon's arms lingered around me longer then they should have but when he let go he winked at me before following the guys. Brendon rested against a chair, his hands in his pockets.
"I'm going to miss you, Max."
"I'm going to miss you too, Brendon."
He walked over to me and hugged me. His lips came in contact with mine for a brief second before he pulled away.
"I really enjoyed knowing you. You have my number; give me a call when you get home."
And with that he disappeared through the door. I just shook my head, I had expected more, but he was Brendon, he was unpredictable.
I got into the taxi that drove me to the airport. I felt relieved, in a weird way. And I was really looking forward sleeping in my own bed.
Goodbye Panic! At the Disco.