Not Quite Believing....
She saw a nurse rushing in the direction of his room and she stared, so she could tune in her ears, it was a monitor in the sound of someone who'd gone Asystole. She put the clipboard down on the desk and jogged down.
"God no!" She moaned as she rushed into Pete's room, his family and Patrick standing back in horror.
Bea stared for a split second and something inside her gave way.
"He's asystole! Get a round of high dose eppy and start a dopamine drip wide open!!" She said firmly, her heart was kicking her ribs.
She hit the button on the wall,
"I need a crash cart in here!!!" She yelled. It took only a few seconds for another nurse to wheel in the crash cart and she grabbed the machine, switching it on.
"Paddles won't work - he's in Asystole!" Dr Robert said,
"He could be in fine v-fib-"
"-It won't work-" He butted however she cut him off again.
"We're charging, 300, no...no no, 360!!" She said,
"Flatline!" Robert called.
"Jenny - I need that eppy stat!!" She said, waiting for the paddles to charge.
"Charging...." She said, she stared at him, lifeless on the bed and she prayed.
"Why are we charging - he's in asystole?" The deep voice called and she knew immediately it was Michael.
"She thinks he could be in fine v-fib." Robert explained, he stared at her and she refused to look at him.
"Clear!!" Bea called and Peter's body moved slightly with the shock.
"Was that a beep?" Jenny said, watching the monitor.
"Random beeps, there's no rhythm..." Roberts said,
"Again - charge!!" The machine charged up.
"Clear!!" She called, his body moved again slightly.
"Still no rhythm!" Robert updated,
"Damn it!" She growled.
"I'm charging!!" She called and they stepped back. Her face was full of desperation and concentration,
there was no way in hell she was giving up.
"He doesn't want to be here!" Michael said angrily.
"I want him to be here!!" She snapped back.
"Clear!!" She shouted.
Again, his body moved.
"Slap signs of pacer pads on him right now!!" she barked and Roberts obeyed.
"Dr Owen, call it - he's in Asystole, no pulse, no rhythm-" Michael taunted her.
"You're not going anywhere Peter." She said in her low voice.
"Alright, got them all. Can you roll him?" Dr Roberts asked
"Set it at 80." Bea said hurriedly.
"He's not capturing!" Jenny updated.
"Damn you Peter - you are catching this - come on!!" She growled.
"He's throwing PVCs".
"Maximum gain. Come on. Come on..." she growled again, with that, the monitor beeped. Bea stared suddenly.
"He's got a rhythm!" Jenny said quickly. Bea pushed her hands over her forehead and pushed her hair back.
"Pulse 80 BP 100.." Jenny added,
"Good call Dr Owen..." Roberts smiled.
But Bea couldn't smile, Michael was right and his words were ringing truth. She was saving someone who didn't want to be saved.
"Call the OR, we need to find out where that bleeds coming from." She said bluntly.
Pete's Mom and Dad stared at her, Patrick too, their eyes wide, glazed over with the shock. Not quite believing what they'd witnessed, not quite believing who had just restarted his broken heart and not quite believing how much Pete didn't want to stay.
Jenny touched Bea's shoulder gently.
"You OK Dr Owen?" She asked, she snapped out of her trance, her eyes fixed on his still face.
"I'm fine. " She said without feeling.
She gently touched Pete's thick dark hair and leaned down, she softly whispered to him.
"Don't think about leaving again. There are too many people that need you in their lives."
She stood up and stroked his forehead softly.
"The OR is ready for him." Jenny advised softly, she noticed the affection Bea had for this patient. Bea nodded in acknowledgment and turned to the family.
"He needs to go to surgery, he has a bleed, not entirely sure where at this moment in time but it's likely coming from the Liver, as a result of the overdose...." She said in a gentle professionally scripted tone.
"Is he going to be alright Bea?" Peter's Mom said, her eyes imploring her for the truth if nothing else.
"I hope so...." She whispered weakly. She swallowed hard and looked at Patrick, she took his hand and he squeezed it firmly.
"Try not to think about it too much, just focus on him getting better and I'll keep you updated as much as possible!!" She explained, they all nodded and let go of Patrick's hand.
She slipped away discreetly.
"Bea!" The voice called and she turned just as she was about to go out the door.
"Thank you...." She heard Pete's Mom say softly, but she couldn't smile or move her lips, she just stared.
"Thank you so much!" She repeated tearfully.
That seemed enough for the moment.
Sitting with black coffee in between her palms, she watched steam billow up towards her face, the smell of the stale brew making her feel slightly nauseous. But it wasn't going to take much to make her feel like that after the last couple of hours. The door to the small breakout area opened and she knew it was him just by the sound of his feet. He closed the door and locked it.
"We need to talk."
"You always need to talk Michael...how about you just listen." She said, having had quite enough of him for that day.
"No, you listen, your actions in the room were totally unprofessional and I will question your ability as Doctor if you pull a stunt like that again!" He bit back.
"You would not be saying this to me if it was your Wife - or your god damn children on the bed!!" She snapped back.
He grabbed her arm and hauled her off the couch and threw her up against the locker.
"Get your hands off me!" She growled.
"You will not do this to me Bea!"
"Do what?? - You're only angry because I remind of you what you are when you're trying to question my profession!" She hissed at him, he squeezed her arm again and pushed her against the lockers hard.
"You shut up!"
"You get your hands off me now Michael, I swear, before you do something you regret!" She said coldly.
"Like what?" He retorted.
"Don't push me Michael, you wanna back me in a corner - fine!! But you get your hands off me!" She retaliated.
Suddenly he was on her neck, kissing and nipping hard at the soft skin under her chin and around her throat, she pushed against him.
"Michael!" She said firmly. He carried on, trying to get in her in the mood, undoing her blue slacks.
"Stop it!" She said, pulling at his hands.
"Come on ...." He moaned. She snapped and pushed him away hard.
"Get off Michael!!" She growled. He stared at her in disbelief. She walked away from the lockers and around to the safety of the door.
"We are done. I am done. With everything, with you." She said with a coldness.
"Don't you dare walk away-"
He heard the door slam shut. He rubbed his mouth in the fury of her actions.
"Damn it!!" He shouted and hit the lockers hard, they shuddered at his fists, rattling the metal hard.
The fridge wasn't giving a cold chill anymore, Pet was sat on the floor again a cupboard, Beatrice knelt on his lap, feeding him piece of melon.
"mmmm!" He smiled as it melted in his mouth, his hands wrapped around her waist.
"That taste good?" She asked close to his lips. He smirked and she kissed him deeply, tasting the melon in his mouth.
"Do you want me Peter?" She whispered, he looked at her lips and kissed her hard.
"Say it." She whispered.
"I want you...." He replied, she smiled to herself and flipped her head back slightly, shaking her hair down her back. She put a grape in her mouth and smiled, kissing him, she pushed the grape into his lips and he smiled as he ate it.
"I want you too..." She whispered close to his ear.
"Dr Owen...." The voice said. She pinned open her eyes for a moment, out of all the flack backs......
"Sorry to wake you, Peter Wentz got out of surgery a few moments ago, Dr Gregg said you wanted to be told." The nurse said warmly.
"Thank you - did they stop the bleed?" She asked softly.
"He did, he's going to fine, Dr Gregg did a brilliant job!" She smiled. The relief on Bea's face must have been evident as the nurse's smile got bigger.
"That's great - that's really.....great!" She said, waking herself up.
Walking into the room, he seemed the same, but the repaired damage was beneath his skin so she knew it wasn't a miracle cure for the outside. His parents were by his side, Patrick wasn't there, maybe he'd gone home to tend to business.
Bea approached slowly, careful not to encroach on private territory.
"Oh Bea!" His mom smiled, she came over and hugged her.
"He's gonna be fine!" Bea consoled her.
"He's gonna be OK - I Promise, I won't let him go!" She said, more to herself than anything.
When she'd let go, Bea slowly came closer to his bed side and gently touched his face.
"He really did get the tattoo bug huh?" She smiled, looking at the dozens more now on his arms, chest and stomach.
His hands looked tired, they rested so peacefully by his side but many times those hands had been on her, touching her, pleasing her, consoling her, holding her and being there for her.
She pushed her fingers into his thick knotted hair and smiled.
"We'll give you a few minutes with him!" His dad said and they quietly left the room.
Bea smiled down at him and massaged his hair gently. She let the tears fall, they needed to come, they needed to fall for him.
"I have no idea how you can be away for so long and come back and it's like you never left." She said softly.
"You certainly have everyone's attention." She added, she put her other hand over his cheek and stroked him softly.
"You always said to me that it's not our decision whether we're saved or not. And I would laugh because as a Doctor, it's in every decision I make. And I made that decision today, that you needed saving, even if you didn't want it. You can hate me later, but I promise I'll make it better." She smiled and kissed him gently.
"Hello." The woman's voice said, Bea turned to her and stared. The little boy attached to the woman's hand was staring at her with those same eyes.
"Who are you?" She asked.
"Bea...Beatrice Owen...." She said softly, wiping her tears, the woman stared at her.
"Are you here to see Pete?" She asked, sniffing gently.
"I'm his wife...." She said with a hint of derogatory.
"Oh..." Bea said softly.
"This is his son, Samuel." She added, double whammy.
Bea stared at them both, now that nauseous feeling was back. She nodded silently and moved away from the bed, slipping past them.
"The surgery was a success??" the brown haired woman asked.
"Yes....He's going to make a full recovery." Bea said quickly and hastily.
Find nearest possible exit.
Bow out now while you still have hint of dignity.