Technically, it was their first kiss. Spoilers for the end of series.
Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura is owned by CLAMP and as much as I would want to claim Touya and Yuki all to myself, CLAMP owns them too. Boohoo. That is why I'm stuck doing just this.
Translations: Damare - stop, Chigau yo - No, it's not; that's not it., Demo - But
Touya was irritated. And bored. But mostly irritated.
If it weren't for Sakura, he wouldn't have gone to this party at all - because there was no way he would subject himself openly to more of Akizuki's torturous doting, since seeing (and avoiding) her at school everyday was enough. The only reason he had dropped by tonight, a reason he'd repeatedly convinced himself as justifiably satisfactory to have him endure being at the same room with Nakuru again, was because that gaki was here and there was definitely no way he would leave his sister alone with him.
Over-protectiveness be damned, as he glared across the table at Syaoran, who was currently stealing glances at Sakura, blushing profusely and completely oblivious to the invisible daggers shooting out of Touya's deep-brown eyes. Had they been real knives, that brat would have had lots of holes in various places of his body right now.
Anyway, that enigmatic classmate of Sakura's - Eriol, his name, wasn't it? That supposedly reincarnation of the magician Clow Reed - had personally called and invited him to this little get together, considering that, Touya had already known about the magic and the Cards his sister had been capturing and transforming for the past year. As well as, if not more significantly, his personal and rather close 'acquaintance' with one of her Guardians.
Certainly, not that one who had been pretending, quite unsuccessfully, to be a stuffed plushie all this time, and was now stuffing his minute body with every piece of sweets and pastry laid on the table.
No. The other Guardian. The one whose skin was of angelic, almost transparent paleness; whose long, silvery wisps of hair pooled gently around him as though they were an extension of his wings. And whose silver-blue cat-like eyes that would otherwise scare a person with their steely coldness, captivated Touya with their mystery.
But it wasn't Yue he's been closely acquainted with. Not really. Since they'd only met a couple of times, and they really didn't have much to talk about anyway, except when the unspoken vow that Yue would protect the people most important to Touya was made. And that had included the person he gave up his powers to. He did it for his best friend, for Yuki.
And speaking of which, where was Yuki? He had earlier excused himself from the on-going party, muttering something about calling his grandparents to inform them that he'll be coming home late. Touya checked his watch. It had been almost half an hour ago when Yukito went out, how long does it take to make one brief phone call?
Ignoring the slight fluttering of butterflies in his stomach, he stood up and excused himself from the table. (To which Nakuru let out a banshee-sort-of whine that sounded something like his name and some pestering questions about where he was going.) As he rounded the long table, his eyes met with, at first Eriol's, who gave him a knowing, enigmatic nod, and then Kaho's, who smiled warmly at him. Touya gave her a small smile, before slipping out of the room.
He then stood frozen in the middle of the dimly lit corridor, suddenly at a loss, literally and figuratively. How the heck was he supposed to find Yuki in this big, creepy house? Kicking himself mentally for not asking directions, he walked, with uncertain steps, the rest of the length of the hallway, cautiously peering into rooms for any sign of his best friend, but without much luck or success.
As he moved across the living room, he noticed the French doors that led to the garden were open. And so, taking the chance, Touya stepped outside.
It was a pleasant evening. The crisp, spring air felt both warm and cool to his skin, and a gentle breeze ruffled his hair lightly as if in greeting. The moon glowed serenely, surrounded by glittering stars that bedecked the dark sky and twinkled flirtatiously above him.
He finally found Yuki: perched comfortably on the low roof of the mansion, leaning on his arms as he looked up the sky - he'd probably gotten there because of Yue. Even from where Touya was standing, he could tell that his friend was brooding about something, amber eyes staring blankly into the space. Touya rarely saw him in this pensive mood, it was more likely Yue's temperament, and it made the butterflies in his stomach flutter their wings quite more furiously.
"Hey, Yuki." He hoped Yuki wasn't too lost in his thoughts.
The Snow-bunny immediately withdrew his blank gaze away from the sky and upon recognizing Touya, he smiled sheepishly at him. "To-ya! Sorry, I was just-well, the sky looked beautiful tonight and I thought..."
Touya frowned at him. "You had me worried for a while. Mind if I join you?"
"No, not at all." Yuki replied, patting the space beside him. "Can you come up?"
Using the trees around the yard, Touya managed to haul himself onto the roof. With a few careful steps, he gingerly sat beside Yuki, who had resumed his empty contemplation of the night sky. Touya certainly wasn't used to this side of his best friend, brooding and serious - that was him, not Yuki. Yuki was always the cheerful and easy-going one, even when something's troubling him, Yuki would still manage a smile and brush it off lightly, he never let it get to him.
"The stars are beautiful, aren't they?" Yuki spoke softly after a while.
"Mm." Although it sounded more like a rhetorical question rather than inquiry, Touya nodded his reply. Perhaps he was mistaken. Perhaps Yuki had really gone up here to do some stargazing, he likes to do that lot anyway.
"But they don't really exist, do they?" Yuki continued in that same gentle voice, but his tone sounded heavy with a shadowed emotion.
There they were again - the butterflies in his stomach, flying about in a flurry. Touya did not answer Yuki immediately. He could only look at his friend, puzzled by his words. What does he mean by 'they do not exist'?
And as if Yuki read his thoughts, which was probably what happened anyway, he explained, "I mean, what we see as their light... they're just remnants of their existence, aren't they?"
Light? Remnants of their existence? Slowly, Touya began to understand what his friend was alluding to. "Yuki..."
"The real stars - the real hot balls of fire, they died already... a long, long time ago." This time, Yuki did not hide the sadness in his voice, and this made Touya, if possible, more uneasy.
"And their light that now reached us," Yuki continued to relate in that melancholy tone, "were pretend lights, glistening indifferently, deceiving us with their false impression of life..."
"Yuki..." Although he grasped the idea of what Yuki was saying, admittedly, he could not quite understand it. Even though he wanted to. Badly. Unconsciously, Touya reached out for Yuki's hand - they were trembling slightly. Perhaps he'd be able to channel some of his aura to Touya and Touya would at least, be able to understand.
But there was nothing. Touya had never felt so helpless.
"I... Tsukishiro Yukito doesn't really exist, does he?" Yuki turned his head away from him, and Touya felt a bead of warm liquid drop on the back of his palm. "He's just a false form of the Guardian, an outer shell to hide the Guardian's true self..."
"Damare. Yuki, damare." Touya gave Yuki's hand a squeeze. "Chigau yo. I never thought - even once, that you were merely a false or borrowed form of the Moon Guardian."
Tears were now rolling down Yukito's cheeks, but he still refused to meet Touya's eyes. "Demo..."
"Listen to me, Yuki," Touya prayed for strength, he had lost his magic but he was hoping that at least there was something within him that would provide him with strength, because he was not exactly sure what to say, he never did.
"If you didn't--" Touya hesitated. He squeezed Yuki's hand again, as he silently cried out for strength, "If you didn't, then... how else can you explain this... this feeling?"
Slowly, Yuki turned his head and gazed at Touya, it was now his turn to look puzzled.
Touya swallowed nervously, he knew that there was a slight blush coloring his cheeks.
"Before, when Yue didn't have enough magic to survive and you began to disappear, I was..." Touya felt his heart pounding in his ears, "I had been worried to death. I didn't want you to vanish, Yuki... that is why, I gave up my magic for Yue. He can protect Sakura better than I can... and also..."
This was it. He prayed for strength, and yet Touya felt so utterly vulnerable right now. "So, you won't leave me..."
It wasn't the first time that Touya had said this to Yuki, he'd already told him then, when he had just given up his magic, that it doesn't matter what Yuki was as long as they can be together. But perhaps, now, Yuki finally realized the deep emotion behind Touya's words, as his hazel eyes grew round in mild surprise.
"If you didn't exist, then how come I think about you all the time?" Touya drew closer to Yuki. Words were now flowing out of Touya's mouth, and he knew they cannot be stopped. They were only a breath away.
"How come... Tell me, Yuki, tell me if this doesn't feel real to you-" Touya brought his lips to press against Yuki's, lightly, softly. For Touya, in this moment, nothing else was real except Yuki. And the wonderful, addictive feeling of being surrounded by him. It didn't even matter for a second whether Yuki would respond or not, all he wanted was for this moment to last forever...
Then gently, timidly, Yuki parted his lips and allowed Touya to suck on them. Yuki need not say anything to confirm that he understood. A cold hand moved tentatively over his shoulder to his neck, pulling Touya closer and deeper into the kiss.
Whether the world around them was real or not, it simply melted away.