A flashback to Harry's time at the Dursleys before going to The Burrow
(#) jabarber69 2006-12-12 09:34:35 PMHey welcome back to the world of fanfiction writing! I saw that this is also posted on your ffnet site and as usual your writing as well as your storytelling is superb! Although I think that George, Fred and especially Ginny and Harry are not taking the right percautions, they have written proof that Ron is basically a jealous bigoted pureblood fanatic that has the same outlook on life as voldie and his death eaters as well as befriending Malfoy and Snape, with that proof why are they bascially ignoring him and not taking him down by showing the proof to his parents, remus, tonks and dumbdork. Hell that potion incident would be enough to have them disown him.
Now I have another point I like to make. On your ffnet profile you have a quote that basically says You will not leave a story unfinished and walk away so my point is do you remember your fine and outstanding story called "Independence Day" on ffnet it was last updated may06 and it looks like its been abandoned!
- So far, in these first two chapters, this story is well written and interesting.
Fred would make an excellent detective. He has the instincts needed, as well as the experience, from his pranking.
I can see both Ron and Percy turning on Harry, although I have a really hard time with them being able to sacrifice Ginny like that. Ron tends toward Jealousey, and Percy is a pedantic snob. On the good side, Ron is (usually) loyal as hell, but his pureblood status and his lust for wealth would easily turn him. As for percy, I understand he has a marvellous singing voice. It's going to be really interesting how Harry gets even. I'm hoping Ginny and Hermione both help with his plans of revenge. Throw in the twins and who knows? Mebby the Dark Tosser and Lucy the lickspittle will be caught up in it as well.
CH2. This is pretty realistic, in how Tonks and Reemus get in to see Harry. The three of them begin some intensive group therapy, and together, find some closure.
Tonks's explanation of the penseive is my only sticking point. She says it only makes a copy, and in canon, GoF: US, Dumbles says he uses it to hold excess memories when his head gets too filled up, implying that the penseive really does have the memory.
It's also nice to see a Dumbledore who isn't a dark, evil manipulative old bastard. (OK, He is manipulative here, but he's only as bad as he is in canon.)
I have placed this on my 'alerts' list, and hope to read more soon.
- Chuckle I wouldn't have expected Harry to be familiar with the Boy Scouts motto. ;) Actually, given his history, the USCG motto, "Semper Paratus" - "Always Prepared", might be a better one to take up. It's going to be right interesting to see how he deals with the ministry and with Percy & Ron. Methinks Ron is in for a rather rude awakening. Oh, one other thought, if Ron gets exposed as a traitorous prat, would Harry end up with both Ginny and Hermione? I've sometimes thought that trio was better balanced than any of the potential couples among the three.