Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Going Nowhere Fast

I'm Still On My Own

by moocow 16 Reviews

It's been decided that this would be the last chapter. It was a tough one, I've been writing it for the past two weeks, even while writing the other chapters. I'm telling you, I'm really satisfied ...

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Drama, Romance - Characters:  - Warnings: [!!!] [?] - Published: 2006/12/14 - Updated: 2006/12/15 - 2968 words

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Moo: Flashbacks are in italics

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I'm sure he was worried the minute his eyes lied on my quivering body out in the cold of winter. My teeth were shattering and my bottom lip was tingling with a chapped feel. I held my hands on my arms, rubbing them.

Don't call me stupid for coming out without a coat, I mean, I was practically kicked out.

I shivered once more and glanced up at him with pleading eyes, well, I tried at least to see him though the tears that still remained.

"Evie..."

His voice was low with worry as he reached down to gather me up like a lost puppy and drag my limp and fear stricken body into his semi-welcoming home, yet very welcoming arms. He sat me down on the couch and stared down at my pale fingertips, kissed by the chilling air.

"What?" he paused and swallowed a large lump in his throat before curling those warm hands around my own. "What happened?" he asked.

I cringed at the thought and went right for it.

"You're going to be a father, Pete," My voice cracked on his name, tears deciding to start flooding again.

Pete stared at me with doubtful eyes before I saw his chest stop moving from breaths. I copied- the fear returning. His eyebrows twitched slightly and his bottom lip quivered with something I had never seen in him.

"Pete?" I called my voice unfamiliar to even my ears.

Pete swayed slightly and I felt like giving up.

His hands tightened slightly around mine and I cursed them- I wanted to run and hide again. But then his shaking lips curled into a very small grin, white teeth poking out.

"Ev," he started- voice just as laced with worry.

I winced to keep the tears back and he copied before shaking his head widely for a split second and whipping my body close to his, arms wrapping tight around me.

"Wha?" my voice broke off as my mind read the situation.

He wasn't freaking.

He wasn't freaking.

For a moment everything, and I mean everything, was right were it needed to be.

"You don't even know how much I love you right now..." I relaxed even more in his arms and snuggled my cheek into his neck, letting my lips curl into a smile against his skin.

"I shouldn't be happy right now," I whispered.

Pete pulled away to catch my eyes.

They sparkled and he let his hands slide from my shoulder blades to my sides where he curled his thumbs to the front of my stomach.

"You told Andy, huh?" he asked. I bit my lip and nodded, resting my hands over his.

"I don't want to talk about it," I mumbled.

Pete's eyes bored into mine for a few moments before he slowly leaned over while he raised his hand to my cheek, holding it. His lips covered mine not a moment later and bliss hit me.

"You don't have to," Pete whispered, his lips still moving against mine as his strong arms pulled me to his lap and he picked me up, my arms tight around his neck.

In minutes, my back softly hit one of the two mattresses of Pete's room, it dim with the afternoon slowly slipping into night. With lips still attached we scooted towards the head board, hands slowly trailing towards the hem of t-shirts and pant lines.

Pete moved his lips from mine and kissed down my jaw line before meeting my neck and staying there. My eyes fluttered closed and suddenly I remembered that this was what got us here.

But if I stopped it now, I would be sure to regret it later.

I moved my hands up his now bare back and rested them on his shoulder blades, tilting my head to the side to elongate my neck. I felt his smile grow as he lowered more weight onto me and started to slide down my jeans.

"Ev," he mumbled against my neck. I hummed and kissed his shoulder once, rubbing his back. "I love you..."

And I never forgot.


[February 2004]

I flinched slightly as I snapped open my eyes, finding the room dark and television flickering from channel to channel. I took a deep breath as a hand circled on my back. I twisted to look up at my source of comfort.

"Oh, Ryan," I muttered. He blinked down at me before flashing a lazy smile.

"I thought you were sleeping," he whispered back. I shook my head and yawned.

"Not anymore," I mumbled.

Ryan shifted slightly to let my head rest more comfortably in his lap before keeping the channel on Fuse. This was dangerous. I frowned and held my breath, counting back and forth from 1 to 5.

Ryan kept on rubbing my back in a comforting way while my stomach churned. When I opened my eyes, Ryan stopped and tears met my eyes.

"So we haven't seen you in a while," the announcer spoke standing to four very familiar faces.

Ryan glanced down at me.

"Wasn't this when I came to visit you?" he asked. I nodded and sat up, still leaning on Ryan for support.

"It's only from two months ago," I whispered. Ryan frowned and kissed my temple.

"Do you want me to change it?" he asked. I swallowed a large lump before shaking my head.

"No," I whispered and paid attention to the interview that I had always skipped over.

"Well, I've heard that there are some ladies in your lives," smiles spread across Andy and Patrick's faces.

"Sure," Patrick mentioned and scratched the back of his neck. The announcer laughed slightly.

"You ever think that these girls will stick around?" I frowned as they all nodded.

What did they know?

Andy spoke.

"They'll be around long enough for families to start," Joe smirked while the announcer looked at Patrick and somebody walked in.

"What about you, Patrick? Any kids in the near future?" Patrick smiled before shaking his head.

"Never, actually...I...I just don't think I'm one to be a father," A throat was cleared and I tilted my head up to catch the intruder.

"That still scares me to this very day," I jumped off the couch and lowered my eyes to her waist.

"Izzy," Her breath hitched and she rested her hands on her stomach.

"Ironically enough, I left the same day as you," she whispered. I blinked.

"How far...are you?" I whispered. Izzy gulped and looked away.

"Four months," she mumbled. I hesitated at first before wrapping my arms around her and bringing her into a hug.

"I...I knew he wasn't ready, Ev and he goes ahead and tells me," I listened to her talk. "Saying about you and Pete, 'you know, she had it coming, you can't just go up to a man and tell him his life is over'. It was so horrible, Ev,"

I hushed her and sat her down.

"You can stay with me," Izzy lowered her eyes to my waist.

"What about you, Ev?" she asked.

"Two and a half," I whispered.

Izzy shivered and Ryan looked up at me before pulling her into a sideways hug. Meanwhile, I walked towards my dad's office and walked in, sitting down in one of the chairs.

"I don't want this baby, dad," I whispered. I heard him sigh, turning his chair around to face me.

"I knew you'd say that," he mumbled back and looked up at me. "Sweetie," he started. "I need you to have this kid,"

I blinked.

"Why?" I asked.

My dad just stared at me.

"I want to prove to you that even what seems like a mistake can be the best thing that ever happened to you," I held my breath.

"This baby is not a mistake, dad," I hissed.

He shook his head slowly.

"That's not what you said when you arrived here on my doorstep with Ryan," I bit my lip.

"You don't know half that story, dad,"

He winced.

"You never told me," I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I'm sorry, dad," I whispered.

He sighed like me and walked around his desk to sit next to me, holding my hands.

"Sweetie, you have to know that we didn't know we were having twins, and on top of that, we were going to get an," I cut him off.

"Twins was a godsend," I whispered. He nodded.

"Have this baby, Ev," I closed my eyes and nodded once before letting him get back to work.

I watched him for a while before exiting and sitting on the first step of the stairs, staring at the grand, giant door.

"I've changed my mind, Peter," I whispered. "I don't want you to chase me,"

It was so warm, so welcoming that I couldn't help but take a large inhale of the vanilla scent, the cinnamon mixing in with the axe.

A shaky yet heated and calloused hand was rubbing at my bare back, pushing hair that fell away every few moments. I decided to roll over to catch his deep and thoughtful brown eyes.

"Good morning," I whispered, my throat hoarse from a previous day of crying.

Pete's small smile didn't reach his eyes. I knitted my eyebrows together.

"You alright?" I asked.

Pete started to nod before shaking his head and sighing, closing his eyes tight.

"I feel like I'm still hurting Andy and you at the same time," I rested my hand on his cheek.

"It'll take time, Pete," I whispered.

He shook his head and shifted slightly, moving to crawl out of the twin bed. I watched as he sat, the blankets around his waist as he reached down for his pants and boxer briefs.

My chest heaved with a large breath, my mind running with paranoia of what he was thinking. Pete looked back at me and waited for me to clothe as well before taking my hand and leading me down the stairs. It was supposed to be better than this.

He stared at me.

"I..." I tilted my head to the side.

"Regrets, huh?" I asked and blinked the tear that slid down my cheek.

Pete watched it go before his eyes dropped and he swung his arms to catch mine in a lose grip.

"I don't even know if I want this, Ev,"

My heart stopped and I ripped my hands away as he lifted up his head. I glared and shook my head, more than just angry.

"You're telling me you'd rather have a career that can shatter any moment and three friends that you've already betrayed, more than a woman who's willing to stick by your pathetic side?" I paused and gripped his hand forcefully, placing it over my waist as I felt my defenses start to shatter. "You're willing to take money and fame over our baby?"

I felt and heard my voice break and my knees shake with weakness. Pete's eyes watered up as well and I took a large shaky breath. His head started to sway side to side in a shake of 'no'. I glared.

"I don't know anymore," he whispered, voice extremely low and dripping with regret.

I threw his hand back at him and raised my hand up fiercely, striking him across the cheek.

Chewing on my bottom lip, I ripped open the front door and grabbed my shoes, hopping them on and rushing down the sidewalk until I met the residential road and collapsed on my knees, my hands snapping to my face where I broke down in a fit of tears.


[April 2004]

A lazy smile appeared on my lips as a wet and warm tongue licked up the side of my face. I giggled insanely before fluttering open my eyes and observing the dog on my chest, attacking my face with its mouth.

"Hemmingway!" I shrieked. Not a moment later I widened my eyes and stared at the pup, his big eyes staring back. "/Hemmingway/?"

I screamed sharply and watched as a very pregnant Izzy came barreling through the door, her eyes full of panic.

"Ev! Oh my god, their here!" I sat up straight, Hemmingway moving to jump down to the side of my bed.

"I'm assuming by the site of Hem that it's the guys, huh?" Izzy bit her lip, it shaking with fear as she sat down.

"I only heard them and ran up here with Hemmingway," I gulped and hushed her.

"You stay here," I mumbled and ran out, pulling on jeans.

Finding myself on the bottom step of the large staircase, I felt my breath lodge into my throat. They broke their attention away from Hemmingway who had returned and slowly their eyes traveled from my feet to my head.

I could literally hear the gulp that was shared before my worst fear came true.

Pete stepped up and walked over to where I stood still now, my hands retreating to rest on my stomach.

"Evie," he breathed, his hands reaching up to hold my face.

I stepped back and shook my head, looking back at the guys who were all standing at the door, flabbergasted.

"You have a family now," I whispered, nodding my head at them. "After all, you chose them over me," Pete swallowed his pride while I noticed Andy's eyebrows knit together.

"You know Pete, she may have hurt me but you/," he paused as Pete turned to face him. "/You are a fucking /idiot/," I could sense Pete's defenses breaking down. He was going to take it, wasn't he?"

I stepped back and out of the way as Andy came closer to Pete.

"You don't know anything," Pete whispered, looking away from him and directly at me.

He moved to come towards me, stopped by Andy who whipped him around.

"I know everything Pete," he paused and poked his chest. "Why would you do something like this,"

I closed my eyes and listened to them bicker for a few moments before I clenched my hands into fists and screamed, Hemmingway whimpering, Andy pulling back from his raised fist.

"Stop," I whispered and shook my head, pointing at the door. "Get out of my house," I whispered.

Pete stared at me with disbelief.

"But we came to help," he whispered. "We came to get you and Izzy," I swallowed my pride and didn't let it effect me.

"You should have showed up five months ago," I whispered.

It was then that Pete cracked and he booked it, running up the stairs. I stared at Andy who still had his hands up.

"Did you guys actually believe him?" I asked. Joe spoke up, his voice low.

"Pete never told us that he left you..." he mumbled. Andy stared at me, stepping over.

"He said that you left him," I chewed on my bottom lip for moments until I heard Izzy's panicked voice, begging Pete to stop.

Patrick's eyes lit up but at the same time he stayed grounded. As they reached the bottom of the stairs I rushed over and pushed Pete away from her as she held onto my arm and hid behind my back. Pete waved a hand over her.

"I'm not that only one who left somebody," he hissed. Patrick widened his eyes and took a step before Izzy shook her head.

"Go away," she cried. I stared at them all and sat her down on the last step.

"I want you all out, right now," Pete huffed and looked away.

"We were already heading out," he mumbled, speed walking out the huge front door. I stared after him and felt arms wrap around my waist, one hand resting in my hair.

"You going to be ok?" I pushed Joe off of me and pointed out the door.

"Thanks for believing in me, /Squishy/," I hissed, bitterness in the retired nickname.

Joe frowned and kissed my cheek either way before leaving. Andy was next, just staring at me, eyes flickering over ever corner of my face.

"Prove him wrong," he whispered and ran his hand over the bump in my shirt once before kissing my forehead. "Have this baby," he left while my eyes were still closed.

I head bickering and turned around to find Izzy crying with her hands over her face, Patrick trying his best to comfort her.

"Izzy, I didn't do anything, why...why aren't you letting me in?"

And that's when I realized the large sweatshirt hiding Izzy's six month belly. She pursed her lips together before she started to raise it, stopping and standing up.

"Just go, Patrick," she whispered and ran up the stairs. I walked over and sat next to him for a moment as he stared at the ground.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked. I shook my head, closing my eyes as I brought him into a hug.

"You've done nothing wrong," I whispered, knowing full well that the oblivious state Patrick was in was the reason why Izzy was so scared to tell him.

He broke away not a moment later and hesitated before kissing my forehead.

"You are the greatest friend, Evie," he mumbled and hugged my once more before leaning down to kiss my stomach. "You have my blessings,"

I sat there as he stood up and slowly showed himself out.

With a deafening click of the grand door, I hugged my knees, resting my chin on them.

"What went wrong?"

"Andy?" I called.

Andy hummed.

"What?" he asked.

I bit my lip and lowered my voice.

"Do you believe love can have a second chance?"

There was a long pause before Andy answered making my mind run ragged and heart race until sleep prevailed.

"Love can have as many chances as it needs,"


I wish that was true.
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