"As my eyes open, I think of mom and wonder how she could've ever left me with this monster that calls himself a father."
Another fight with daddy. This one had to have been the worst in a while. As the fight replays in my head, I gingerly rub the forming bruise on my cheek. I close my eyes as the hateful words he screamed at me repeat themselves over and over in my head. As my eyes open, I think of mom and wonder how she could have ever left me with the monster that calls himself a father. This thought haunts me often. At the loud crack of thunder, I turn to look out the window. A weary smile curls my lips.
"Rain," I whisper softly to myself.
I get up from the spot on the floor, and look around my room for a moment. The walls are painted jet black; the ceiling holding the image of a dark night sky. On one of my walls, there is a large collage of pictures. On another wall, there is a replica of the famous painting, 'Starry Night' by Vincent Van Gough. My bed is dressed with a black bedspread, and black sheets; accompanied by leopard print pillowcases. My furniture and both lamps are also black, matching my black carpet. I close my eyes and smileCI love the dark.
Another clap of thunder breaks my thoughts. My eyes flutter open just in time to see a flash of lightning illuminate the night sky. I exit my room, quietly making my way down the stairs. My breath catches in my throat when I see daddy sitting in his recliner. I relax a little when I notice that he has passed out. I find the reason for this in the form of an empty bottle of strong liquor that's barely still in his hand. I creep by him slowly and grab my keys. I exit the house as quietly as I possibly can. I close the door gently, and lock it.
When I step outside, the smell of promised rain reaches my nose, and I breathe in deeply. I walk down the driveway, and around to the backyard. I walk up to the fence, and carefully climb it. I land on the other side with a soft thud. I bury my hands in the pockets of my black hoodie as I begin walking down the open field. When I reach my special spot, I sit down, hugging my knees to my chest. As I sit, all the fights I've had with daddy begin to replay in my head like an old black and white movie. The horrible things he's yelled at me in fits or rage and alcoholic rampages hurt worse now than they did then. All the times he's lashed out and hit me haunt my every thought; it's the cause of every single nightmare that torments me.
As all these thoughts swim around in my head, raindrops begin to fall from the sky. I look up towards the sky, letting the raindrops fall on my face. Tears begin to fall from my eyes, mixing with the rain. As it begins to rain harder, sobs begin to escape me; my body shakes violently. I sit there, drenched by the storm, letting the rain intrinsically wash all of my pain away. I lean my elbows on my knees and bury my face in my hands, sliding my hands up into my hair, clenching it in my fists.
My breathing gets shallow, and I know I needed my sweet simple release. The one thing no one understands; no one comprehends. I let out a scream; at the exact same time, a loud clap of thunder penetrates my ears. Lightning flashes several times, causing my lips to curl into a watery smile. Moments later, the rain begins to fall in a gentle, but steady rhythm. All the pain I felt when I arrived has been swept away by the storm; reminding me of grains of sand being washed away by the ocean. I lean back, and lay flat on the grass, letting the rainfall on me. As I lay, I think about what happened and I bring myself to realize that stuff like this only makes me stronger. I laugh to myself when I see a single star appear in the sky. I wipe my eyes, getting rid of my tears and I smile because I know I'll make it another day.