Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Saving The World One Hat Rack At A Time

Alec Baldwin Knows What Your Smoothies Did In The Dark

by DivisionOfJoy 9 reviews

...I don't even know.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Action/Adventure, Drama, Erotica, Humor, Parody - Published: 2007-01-01 - Updated: 2007-01-02 - 1257 words

5Funny
The sexy team of incredibly intelligent women slipped passed the security guard who was currently under the spell of Katy's British charm. Unfortunately, what lay before them was an unforeseen force that not even Katy's accent could liquidate.

Overcast Kids.

"SH-" The three girls glared at the potty-mouthed heroine. "Crap." She finished sheepishly.

The venue crawled with a multitude of young, prepubescent girls ready to flash their underdeveloped goodies at the band of four "Gods."

"One word guys, one word and BOOM! These girls are nothing but stains on the walls." Crystal huffed as she shoved one of those lolitas out of her path. CeCe sighed.

"No, Crys. We're trying to be nonchalant." Crystal frowned, but remained quiet.

"Alright ladies, we need to play it cool." Alex fluffed her fro, prepping it for battle. In her distraction, she managed to bump into an unsuspecting bystander.

"Oh, hey Kyle." She gave her a double take. "Kyle? Weren't you...I...ow, my brain!"

"How did you get in?" Katy asked, knowing her counterpart didn't have the British Charm...or American charm for that matter.

"Backdoor." She said simply before waving over the missing members of the DoJ. The others didn't question it and continued to scan the room for their target.

"You guys, look." Emma pointed to a door marked "dressing room" with two of the burliest men they have ever laid eyes on standing in front of it with folded arms.

"What are we gonna do?" Sarah questioned nervously. Katy smirked triumphantly.

"I'll handle this, loves." The blonde made her way through the mob of adolescent girls while spitting out "Budge up, you bloody tossers." The rest of the clan followed behind her.

"This should be good." Crystal rubbed her hands together in anticipation. Katy slid up next to the least terrifying of the two bouncers.

"Hiya. What are two delicious biscuits such as yourselves doing in a place like this?" The two men seemed taken back by her forwardness.

"Sorry, hon. I'm gay." She looked to the other bouncer with hope apparent on her face.

"Same here." Katy's lower lip drooped, forming a pout. Homosexual bouncers, how clever.

"Step aside, I'll take over from here," Crystal gently moved the baffled Brit and stepped up to the plate. "I suggest you let us in or you won't like what happens if you don't." The two men laughed at the petite brunette.

"Yeah? And what are you gonna do to us?" The beastlier of the men asked. The young woman clenched her fists. The rest of the DoJ shared the same knowing smirk.

"FUUUUCK!" An ear shattered explosion reverberated through the room. Glitter coated extremities whizzed passed the DoJ and splattered against the once pristine white walls.

"Oh my God! The Overcast Kids! You...you killed them." The young man cried out before falling into the arms of the other.

"There there, Georgio. It'll be alright." The man patted his counterpart on the back.

"I know...it's so tragic...I mean, they just renewed their memberships." Crystal, who was not one to be patient, cleared her throat.

"As I was saying...move!" They obeyed and stepped aside, allowing the group of lovely, yet insane, women to pass.

Upon entering the lounge, the soothing sounds of "Get Ready 4 This" by the talented 2 Unlimited could be heard. Heads immediately turned to a frowning CeCe.

"Need I remind you of Forget Me Not?" Was all she needed to say. With bad 90's sport arena themes aside, there was still the task at hand: Collecting Charlie.

"Where the hell are these Boyz? They're harder to find than white on rice." Sarah huffed, eliciting odd stares from the girls.

"Did she just combine two cliché sayings...that don't even exist?" Emma whispered to Alex, whose hair appeared to be eating away at her head.

"I don't even bother anymore. How can you question someone that wrote their own 'Sarictionary'?" The Fro-ed one had a point. A very good point.

"Hey! How did you guys get in here?" The bevy of ladies turned their attention to a boxer-clad bassist with his loyal Sidekick in hand. He had just emerged from the bathroom.

"What were you doing in the loo? With your Sidekick, no less." Katy asked, her accent especially thick. His brown eyes shifted nervously.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"A photo shoot." Kyle murmured.

"Whoa. Finally some chicks. This was getting to be a total sausage fest in here." The guitarist and spin kick extraordinaire commented as he entered the lounge.

"Listen, I have important business in need of attending to," Pete cooed more to his electronic device than to anyone else. "So let's make this quick. What do you want?"

"The Biscuit. He possesses something very dear to us. And we need it to save the world from the biggest threat it has ever been faced with." Crystal explained cryptically.

"Global warming?" Joe asked, his eyes round with fear.

"Worse. Canadians." The men gasped.

"Aw come on. Canadians aren't that bad. I mean, look at Alex." Sarah pointed to a clearly confused Austrian.

"I'm from Austria." The resident gadget girl frowned.

"Um...I mean, look at Katy?"

"Brit, love. Try again." The blonde corrected, causing poor Sarah's eyebrows to furrow.

"Andy?" A swing and a miss.

"Vegan." CeCe whispered, placing a hand on her perplexed friend's shoulder. As if it was his cue, everybody's favorite tree-hugging drummer entered through the same door the girls came in.

"Does anyone know where the janitor is? There is a huge mess out there." He said casually as he plopped down on a nearby couch.

"What does Patrick have to do with saving the world from Canadians?" Pete asked, growing impatient with the attention not focusing on him.

"He has Charlie." Crystal piped up, as if it made perfect sense.

"What the hell does that mean?" The exasperated bassist asked, clearly confused.


What the hell does that mean?

"It means...look at this!" Alex's frizzy mane began to dance and twirl, lulling the men into a trance. "You guys look for Patrick, I'll keep the Boyz entertained." The hunt began, but quickly ended upon the lead singer's entrance from the OCK room...well former OCK room.

"What's going on? What happened to the Overcast Kids...who are you guys?" His green eyes were wide with fright. Sitting atop his golden locks of hair, was the beloved Charlie.

"Oh Patrick, don't worry your pretty little head about such things. Here, have a smoothie." Kyle handed him a frosty glass filled with a bubbling, frothy liquid. The Biscuit narrowed his eyes at the female, but since he was incredibly thirsty, he accepted the tropical concoction. And who was he to turn down a mysterious smoothie from a cute stranger?

"MMMsmoothie," He said as the slushy drink slid down his throat. "where did you get the recipe?" A wicked smirk spread across the girls' faces before Kyle spoke.

"Alec Baldwin gave it to me." The musician was barely halfway through his beverage before drowsiness set in.

"Lightweight." Emma sniggered as the male fell to the floor. Now came the hard part: transporting the DoJ cargo to their stylish, unmarked SUVs.



*Not many OCK were hurt during the making of this chapter. The ones that survived will be tested in the name of science.

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And now for another rousing game of "Guess Who." Last week, we had no winner, hence no cameo. But I have faith in you guys. So, who wrote this chapter?

A. Katy
B. CeCe
C. Sarah
D. Kyle
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