Love hurts, especially when it is not reciprocated. It hurts even more when your best friend, whom you love, wants you to meet his new girlfriend.
Please do not steal this fanfiction or try and pass any of this off as your own work.
Today, I had my heart broken
It is cold, bitterly cold out here, but it doesn't seem as harsh; not now anyway. I didn't want this to happen, no, I never did. But now it seems to have come to pass, and my heart has been torn in two. Like a paper flower; so delicate, and yet insignificant, almost to the point of ignorance.
It all started such a long time ago, that I can't even recall the date precisely. But it started so long ago, and I never forgot the day I let you know how I felt. You were shocked, I remember, and you told me you didn't feel the same so we should just be friends. You never knew how much you hurt me then, I'm sure. Because all the while, you thought I was okay with it, and all the while, we fooled on and spoke to one another with such confidence.
We acted like closest friends, like there was nothing we kept from each other and that was how it seemed best. Well, at least for a while anyway. There was so much fun had during that time, and we got closer, so much closer.
Yes, I admit I loved you even more in that time and more than I could tell you, I knew you wouldn't approve. But I loved you all the same, no matter how much you got on my nerves, no matter what kind of a day it was. I loved you because you loved me...you seemed to anyway.
And I never thought we would fade away, and grow distant. We never did really, but there were moments when I began to wonder.
I could anticipate all of your moves, thoughts and actions until this happened...until everything changed and you broke my heart more than you ever had in the past. This, I couldn't have anticipated.
So that's why I'm walking morbidly slowly through the streets, already drenched from the pouring rain and looking like I've been dead for weeks. He broke my heart...
It is cold, bitterly cold out here, but it doesn't seem as harsh as he is.
"Come on guys, concentrate! We're going on tour in five weeks, and we need to get these songs perfect" ordered Kaoru, the band leader. "Shinya, wake up! You're a little off today!"
Shinya snapped out of his daze, uttering a small and mousy 'oh', before picking up his drum sticks and looking over dreamily at red-headed guitarist Andou Daisuke. Die. He and Die had been friends for an awful long time and spent a lot of time together. Not just at band practice, but on their days off they would head off to the park together, or take a drive out someplace. Even when they weren't exploring the great outdoors together, they would sit at one another's house for hours on end playing on video games, watching TV together, fun fighting or writing music together; though this would often be Die trying songs out on Shinya to get his opinion on it.
They were virtually inseparable and anyone would have thought that the two band mates were a couple, but sadly they weren't. Die had never returned Shinya's affections.
"Shinya! You're at it again, bloody daydreaming" Kaoru barked at him.
"Sorry," the drummer replied, now concentrating as much as he could upon the practice.
He was sure Die knew he had been staring at him, sure that the hairs on Die's neck at raised and become sensitive to his gaze. But there had been no response from him. Die, as always, remained solely concentrated on the band practice.
When Kaoru had lost patience with them all, and resigned himself to the fact that that was as good as he was going to get from them for the day; he called the practice to an end, and left along with vocalist Kyo and bassist, Toshiya. Now, only Die and Shinya were left in the practice room, Shinya putting his drum kit away; Die watching him do so, his guitar only to put in its case.
"I have something to tell you Shin-Chan," Die said, breaking the silence as Shinya completed the task of tidying his drum kit away.
"Oh, what is it?" Shinya asked, looking over to Die, hopefully. A silence passed between them. Somewhat uncomfortable, but finally broken once again.
"I'm seeing someone - She's called Emi and she's amazing Shin-Chan, I want you to meet her!" Die said, smiling quietly to himself.
"That's...that's brilliant Die," Shinya replied, forcing himself to be happy for his friend.
What he had really wanted to say, was something by far the opposite of what he had said. He wanted to hate Die for seeing someone, for loving someone other than him. And now Die wanted him to meet her...
He had to be happy for his friend; that was what he kept reminding himself as he walked home in the bitter cold and rain.
Why am I feeling so protective of him? Yes, he is my friend but I should feel able to let go of him, to let him be happy with another. And yet the mere thought of him being with someone, a woman, not me!
I hate the thought, I want him for myself, I want him to be happy with me, but he won't. I know we would be good together; we've been such good friends for a long time, and now this. The anger I feel right now is indescribable and yet there is a deep sense of sadness in the pit of my heart.
"Shin-Chan, what're you doing walking home in this rain? And all on your own as well!" someone calls after me. I turn and see that it is Die, though my eyes do not linger upon him for very long. "Shin-Chan, wait up!" he calls again. I slow down my pace so that he can catch up. "Hey there Shinya," he smiles, pulling his hood further over his partially wet red hair.
"Hi," I reply simply, still intent on getting home as quickly as I can. I want to be with him, and I still want to love him but I now feel unable to; because he has someone he thinks will love him.
"Is something the matter Shinya?" he asks, realizing something is not right.
"No, why would there be?" I'm almost to the point of tears now, and although my tone is relatively calm, I can feel that resolve quickly slipping away.
"You just seemed a little...off in practice today; and then you just stormed off after you'd put your drums away. It's just not like you Shinya," he stopped me, and looked me in the eye. I could see he was upset that I now seemed so distant from him, where once we had been the best of friends.
"I'm fine Die, I just need to get home." I replied; pulling away from the hold he had on my arm and continuing my journey back home.
I couldn't be around him anymore, not now, not when he wanted me to meet this woman he called 'girlfriend', 'lover'. Love, how could he love her? She was probably just a fan, someone who wanted his money, but he wanted her for other reasons; whatever they might be. That had to be it. There was no love, none at all.
It felt right now, like a part of me had been ripped away and there was no way that I could get it back; because there really wasn't. Many months ago, I had told him that I liked him, loved him and he simply replied we should keep it as friends; for the bands sake, and for our own sake.
I didn't care; I loved him and always have even although he rejected my feelings.
Today I had my heart broken, ripped into a million pieces like a paper heart, carelessly and heartlessly; and I am sure it shall never heal. I am sure I will never get over Andou Daisuke - I love him too much.