A tale of weddings, betrayal, murder, and revenge. He never really liked the comparison of knots with marriage. It always made him picture someone tying a noose and hanging themselves. Marriage is ...
This is entirely fictional and I've had the honor to hand this story to Frank Iero during their Sacramento show on Dec. 8th! I dedicate it to him...
Gerard paced nervously around the hotel bedroom. His steps followed the beat to the ticking wall clock's countless seconds. His heartbeat was too rapid to follow along. Quietly, he recited his vows as if he were reciting a Shakespearean play. If he should say a word too quickly or skip a line, it would be ruined and he would be a failure.
God, you are so dramatic! Gerard laughed at himself. Even his bride-to-be complained that he took everything too seriously. But what better thing to take seriously than your wedding day? Bianca focused mostly on her dress and bouquet. Gerard chose the church, he picked the red and white theme, and he supervised every rehearsal. He was surprised no one decided to drop out of the wedding with all of his fussing about not walking in time with the piano.
An electric current suddenly jolted through his body as he realized that there were only two hours left. 120 minutes until he tied the knot. He never really liked the comparison of knots with marriage. It always made him picture someone tying a noose and hanging themselves. Marriage is supposed to be beautiful and everlasting.
To be honest, he never imagined he'd ever be in that situation. Everyone, including himself, never thought he was the type to wed. He wasn't afraid of commitment, but abandonment. He had no problem committing himself, but people had a problem committing to him. He cringed recalling his past girlfriends, and forced himself to focus on the present. The past was constantly haunting him, creeping behind walls and shadows. Striking at unpredictable moments.
There was a soft tapping on the door.
What if it's Bianca? It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding. Bianca didn't believe in wedding traditions. He hesitated before answering it. On the second knock, he shut his eyes and opened the door.
"Who is it?" he asked, keeping his eyes tightly shut.
"Get something in your eye?" Ray said jokingly.
"I thought you might've been Bianca," Gerard said, lifting his eyelids in relief. "It's bad luck."
"You really believe in all those wedding superstitions?" Ray asked.
"No, but you can never be too sure...," Gerard said, turning back to check the clock.
"You, my friend, need to loosen up," Ray assured him, roughly patting his shoulders.
"I just want it to be perfect," Gerard said, almost shamefully. "I need it to be perfect."
Ray smiled understandingly. That was just how Gerard was, such a perfectionist. He's seen Gerard spend hours sketching relentlessly to get the drawing "just right." His drawings were always good, no matter how unsatisfied he was with them. Ray always tried to tell him that they were fine, but Gerard would insist that the lines weren't straight or the shading was too dark. He always found some invisible flaw somewhere. He would add and erase until he either gave up on it or grew frustrated enough to toss it in the trash.
"It'll be fine," Ray tried again. "You worry too much. By the time the wedding starts, you're going to have a panic attack."
"I think I'm having a panic attack right now," Gerard muttered, running his hands through his hair.
"You're going to remember it no matter what," said Ray. "You'll always remember your wedding day."
"How do you know?" Gerard asked. Ray had been dating his girlfriend for three years without so much as a hint of a possible proposal.
"Well, my dad always told me about how he fainted in the middle of his wedding," Ray began with a reminiscent grin. "Fell straight into the priest's arms during the ceremony. Then a couple of candles got knocked down and caused a small fire on the floor of the church."
"That's horrible!" Gerard exclaimed, wondering how Ray could laugh at such a disaster.
"Yeah, it was. But he's able to look back at it and laugh. He still says that it's the one of the best days of his life," Ray explained.
"Maybe you're right," Gerard sighed, far too exhausted to put anymore pressure on himself.
"No matter what happens, you will always remember this day," Ray said in a voice so low and soothing it sounded as if he just divulged one of the most profound secrets of life.
Somewhere in the middle of the day, the two hours had diminished to a half hour wait. Part of him wanted to get it over with, but the other part wanted to prolong it. Although the anticipation tore him piece by piece with every minute, he wanted it to last forever no matter how painful. It would only make the finale much more sweeter. It was as if he was holding his breath for hours, and enjoying the colors flash by his eyes. As if he was waiting for the perfect death by holding on to the last agonizing seconds of life.
There were so many possibilities of everything going wrong, but only one possibility that everything would go perfectly. Perhaps, that's what bothered him the most. Was your wedding day supposed to be like a lottery? It's either you win or lose. It either goes right or wrong, or horribly wrong.
Gerard almost wanted to slap himself for letting his negativity get the best of him. He tried to focus on what Ray said. This will be the most memorable day of his life. Whether it goes as planned, or if fate decides to turn it all around. He will never forget this day. Ray didn't realize how right he was.