Ok, I'm not great at summaries. This is my first Panic! at the Disco fic and my first fic posted on FicWad. This is a Ryan Ross One Shot. Enjoy and reviews are appreciated!
How could I have been so stupid? How could I think that he ever loved me? She mentally scolded herself. Just then she heard a clicking sound from behind her and whipped her head around to see a tall skinny boy with spiky hair carrying a messenger bag locking up the diner. The boy put the keys in his pocket and then his eyes connected with hers.
"Hey," he started in a shy voice, "A-are you okay?" he asked cautiously, noticing that she was crying. Lilly felt like she could never break her eyes away from him although, finally she did.
"Oh um," she said sniffling and chuckling a little, "yeah, yeah I'm okay," she said non-convincingly. The boy stepped a little closer with a worried look on his face.
"Well, do you need a ride somewhere?" he asked. Lilly shrugged and scoffed, looking down at the pavement.
"Yeah, I probably would need a ride somewhere if I had anywhere to go," she said a bit sarcastically. The boy was standing next to her at this point and she looked up at him, smiling a little at the way he had inched his way closer and closer.
"You don't have anywhere to go?" he asked with concern.
"No," she said looking back down, "I, um, I just broke up with my boyfriend and I was staying in his apartment." He nodded sympathetically.
"Well, why don't you come into the diner? You look like you could use some coffee and it's freezing out here," he said, smiling. He extended a hand and she looked up at him, smiling as well, and clasped onto his hand, letting him help her up. She picked up her bag and they made their way to the door of the small restaurant and stood as he fished out the keys from the pockets of his tight jeans.
"Are you sure you don't mind?" she asked hesitantly. The boy smiled down at her and chuckled a little.
"Trust me, it's my pleasure," he said looking down and blushing as he unlocked the door. Lilly grinned widely.
"So, I didn't catch your name," she said, stepping into the diner. The boy went behind the counter.
"I'm Ryan. Ryan Ross," he said giving her another shy smile. She loved that smile and she wanted to do whatever it took to keep him smiling. He started making some coffee in the pot and he got out two coffee mugs, setting them down on the counter.
"I'm Lilly Parker," she said taking a seat on a stool at the counter, "So, why were you working so late, Ryan? Does you're family own this place?" she asked, wondering why this adorable boy was here instead of on some date on a Saturday night. Ryan shrugged.
"Nah. My best friend's dad owns this place. I'm taking his shift because he's out with his girl, Caydence tonight..." Ryan trailed off and his smile wavered a bit, "Plus...it's better than home," he finished.
Better than home? Lilly wondered. She was about to ask him about it but then decided that she had better not pry. Ryan took the pot of coffee out of the maker and he poured some into each mug, handing one to Lilly.
"Thanks," she said taking the cup and smiling. The hotness from the beverage heated her hands and she brought it close to her face, smiling as it warmed her. Ryan grinned as he watched her do this and took a sip of his own coffee.
"So, Lilly, you're boyfriend's kind of a loser to just leave you with no where to go," Ryan said, giving her another sympathetic smile. Usually Lilly didn't like getting sympathy from people; it always felt so fake, like showing compassion was a task. But when Ryan was sympathetic, it felt so real and she welcomed it.
"Yeah, I guess I'm kind of a loser for leaving," she chuckled cynically, "Then again, if you saw you're boyfriend with some little brunette chick in your apartment, you'd leave him too, wouldn't you?" she asked in all seriousness. Ryan laughed.
"Like, totally!" he said in a girl voice. Lilly giggled and took another sip of her coffee. It was as if she had known him forever and she had barely known Ryan for ten minutes.
Why is it, that after seven minutes with this boy, I feel more welcomed than I ever felt with Dale? Lilly wondered. Ryan hoisted his messenger bag onto the counter and Lilly saw a small brown clothbound journal peeking out. She looked at it curiously.
"Um, Ryan? What's that?" she asked pointing to the book. Ryan looked down at what she was pointing to and blushed.
"Oh, uh, that's my journal. I um, like to write," he said quietly. Lilly smiled.
"Really? That's cool, I love to write too," she said and Ryan's face lit up.
"Well, you can take a look if you want to," he said awkwardly, his grin becoming wider and wider. Lilly bit her lip smiling.
"Are you sure, Ryan? I mean, I only show my journal to people who are really special to me," she said, understanding completely if he didn't want to show her, being a writer herself. Ryan looked into her eyes for a second before turning away and looking into his coffee, a little-kid smile on his face.
"Who said you weren't special," he asked bashfully. At that moment Lilly could no longer contain herself and leaned in a little bit, kissing him lightly on the cheek.
"Thanks, that really means a lot to me, Ryan," she said as she carefully reached for the book. She pushed her coffee to the side a little and opened the cover gently. His writing was that classic boyish pointy writing and there were words crossed out. She smiled at the little sketches in the book of a cloud with some cartoon-y lightning and she began to read a small section:
(now if this were you)
think of what you wouldn't want to happen
They ended up...well making love isn't exactly what I'm looking for.
Oh, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy.
Lilly looked up from the book to Ryan who was looking right at her, his eyes, soft around the edges. She smiled.
"I love it," she said dreamily. I love you... Lilly shook the thought out of her mind. She couldn't love him after knowing him for one night; she couldn't love him just because she read his journal...could she? Ryan chuckled.
"Eh, it's a work in progress," he said. Lilly smirked.
"You're so modest, stop that," she laughed, reaching over and giving his shoulder a little push. Lilly looked at the huge vintage clock on the wall above the coffee maker. It was already 11:30 and it was pitch black outside.
"Oh, I don't want to keep you, maybe you should go home?" Lilly asked, although she wanted more than anything for him to stay. The thought of him ever leaving her was distressing. Ryan looked over to the clock as well.
"But, you still have no where to go," he said with concern, "Come on, there's a hotel on the next block. I'll take you there," he said, getting out from behind the counter. She smiled although she was disappointed that this had to end. She picked up her duffel bags and Ryan got his messenger bag. They made their way out back to the parking lot and he held the door to the car open for her. She got in and wrapped her arms around herself, feeling the coldness of the interior. Ryan got in and put the key in the ignition, looking over to Lilly.
"Oh, you look really cold, sorry about that," he said, turning on the heat, "I guess I just get used to it after a while," he smiled a little and pulled out of the driveway. They rode down the block in comfortable silence and Lilly looked out the window to see quaint houses lit up with Christmas lights. She liked this suburban part of town; it made her feel very at home and safe. Finally Ryan pulled into the parking lot of a small but nice looking hotel and once again got out of the car and held her door open for her.
"Such a gentleman," she murmured in his ear and she saw his face turn bright red as he smiled sheepishly. She loved how adorable and shy he was; it made her have this "he would never hurt you" feeling.
"So, uh," he started, still a little embarrassed, "do you want any help with your bags?" he asked.
"I'd love some help with my bags," if it means I get to see you longer, she thought. Ryan hoisted one of the duffel bags into the air and propped it up on his shoulder. The two of them walked into the hotel and were greeted by this gawky looking receptionist who had to be in her mid to late thirties. She smiled a horse-y smile.
"A room for two?" she asked putting her hands on her non-existent hips. Lilly smirked a little.
Yeah, I wish, she thought.
"Uh, no a room for one please," she said and looked over to Ryan who had a look of mock disappointment on his adorable face. Lilly giggled as she took the key from the receptionist and walked over to the flight of stairs.
"I can take the bag now, if you want...I mean, you don't have to come up to the room if you don't want to. You've already done more than enough," she said, secretly hoping that he would come up anyway.
"No, it's fine. I, uh, I want to come...if that's okay with you, I mean?" he said as though it were a question. Lilly smiled and started up the stairs.
"It's perfectly fine with me." Finally, Lilly and Ryan made it to the third story of the inn and she walked up to room 302, shoving the key into the lock and pushing the door open to reveal a double bed with a white and blue comforter, a small dresser, and a dark blue armchair by the window. Lilly stepped inside the room, followed by Ryan and placed her bags down by the dresser. Ryan did the same and stood awkwardly inside the room.
"Well, uh, I guess I'll see you around...?" Ryan said sounding somewhat sad.
"Thanks, so much for everything tonight, Ryan," Lilly said, desperately not wanting him to leave. The words he wrote in his journal replayed over and over in her head. She could get lost in those words. Ryan was definitely the kind of person whose mind she wanted to get into; she wanted to know what he was thinking...she wanted to know what his words meant...
"Maybe, I don't know, we could, um, like, get together sometime?" Ryan asked awkwardly shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Lilly stepped closer to him.
"I would really like that," she felt her stomach do a flip as he pulled a pen out of one of his pockets and wrote his number on the palm of her hand. Playing it safe, Ryan kissed her cheek and turned walking out the door. Lilly just stood there for a second or two before running to the door and looking down the hallway.
"Ryan?" she called stepping slightly out of the door. Ryan walked back over to her.
"Yeah?" he asked softly. Lilly felt strange asking someone this; it was something she never thought she would ask anyone, and yet she had been thinking about asking him since the moment she laid eyes on him.
"Ryan...d-do you believe in love at first sight?" she asked quietly, looking at her feet. Ryan smirked a little, stepping closer to her. He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her head to face him.
"You tell me," he said and with that he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her passionately.
[A.N: AHHH! How cliche am I? Review please!]