- Sorry, but Sasuke never really gave a damn about anything except revenge till he achieved it. Only then did he truly reflect on his life. That's why I rated it 'OOC'.
Besides that, there are a bit too many repetitive words strewn about. I get that they're for emphasis, but it got to the point of being exaggerated. Unrealistic. So I can't imagine the scene taking place anywhere. I think if you toned it down just a little, it'd be quite an improvement though. Just thinking on it, I can already feel the angst.
'Guardian Angel' is too cheesy for me, though maybe not for other readers I guess.
Thank you for listening, and thank you for sharing your story with us!
Sign up to review this story.