How can you sit still knowing your loved ones are dead and that you can do nothing about it? You can feel your veins full of pressure.
And as I lay on my bed, waiting in this damp room for dest...
I\'ve based this on a death of a very important person\n\n\n Have you ever lost someone? Someone, which you never got a chance to know very well? Or maybe you knew this person very well when the other completely ignored you. I have lost both. It was a dreadful cold-hearted day. And there was one point where I blamed myself, and I knew deep down I shouldn\'t. But I wished and begged I could repeat and start over time. I was mad at myself, and everyone around me. shouldn\'t have been, because it wasn\'t anyone else\'s fault or mine. I dug this big hold in me...but as days swish by, the next seems harder than the rest. At the same time they got easier. It was hard for the harsh facts and the cruel moments that occurred. It was easy for the amount of time I could try to set myself off of it. But truthfully, it never healed. I want to scream at the diseases, accidents and everything that causes death, and I only wish that I could kill death myself.\n\n I had to learn to control my actions for how mad I was. Sometimes my judgment got a hold of me. Sometimes my rage took over my happy side. I was mad at the world for being how it was made and forgot how much I really appreciated it. Maybe I needed to remember my blessings. And be thankful for all the other things I did still have. I knew I could be strong, just went out of control. I chose not to because I didn\'t want to. My friends and family create a bond and took down the brick wall I was building up.\n\n My sister was strong. She wouldn\'t show it. Only someone dear and close could tell she was shrieking inside. As for me...I let it all out. She held me up when I was falling; she was a role model of how I should be. I didn\'t want to be happy when I wasn\'t. I wanted people to leave me alone when I was furious. My friends gave me the most comfort I could ever ask for. But the two people in my lives that would completely make me satisfied and content were gone.\n\n How can you sit still knowing your loved ones are dead and that you can do nothing about it? You can feel your veins full of pressure.\n\nAnd as I lay on my bed, waiting in this damp room for destiny and waiting for my duties, I want to have this sick feeling hoping it answers all my questions.\n\n I stared angrily at the ceiling wall, waning to use all my strength and ability to break it and make it crashing down on me.\n\n\n\"Theresa?\" The boy of my dreams opens my door slightly. I was even mad at him for ruining the most imperfect moment. But he was probably the only one at the moment that would cure me for being here in New Olympia and not at home, where my duties were to my family. Here, my duties were to the world.\n\n \"Come in.\" I said annoyingly. I didn\'t really want to mean it like that in that expression.\n\nJay sat beside me starring at me with the round brown eyes. It was a questioning look. He was sorry for me; I didn\'t want him to be.\n\n\"What is it Jay?\" I didn\'t even look at him. I just sat crossed legged wit my messy unbrushed hair falling off my shoulders. I fidgeted with the strings hanging of my pillow. All I was thinking about was my anger. And I was angry with me. I was physic...the only thing repeating in my head was. Why couldn\'t I sense the danger coming? Yes I was only learning my new abilities. But why couldn\'t I save them! I was a fast learner and the only this that troubles me is this stupid \'amazing\' ability of mine.\n\n Jay just sat. Quieter, than a crumb falling on the floor.\nWe sat still for a half an hour, maybe not even....but it sure felt like it. I just wouldn\'t dare even glance, look or stare at his face. Not any of his features. As compared to how many times I would fawn over him just looking at his gorgeous face. Not this time.\n\n I had no more tears to shed in front of him. I didn\'t want comfort. I wanted people to leave me in this dark room and feel sorry for myself. I knew I was being ridiculous. I didn\'t want to blow up all my anger at my friends, but it grew inside me creating a deadly poison. I knew Jay was just trying to help and save me from it, take me away from it. But I didn\'t want him to, because I was being stubborn.\n\n Jay was silent he wouldn\'t answer my question. It built up a nasty feeling in my heart racing up to my face. Why was he doing this to me? Why did he have to be so perfect and just sit there making me feel worse, yet better. Why was he mimicking me and making me feel haunted of my parent\'s death. It wasn\'t what he wanted. Importantly it wasn\'t what I wanted.\n\n My bravery has sunken down. My happiness disappeared. I was a miserable person. Scared of what else I would loose. Scared if Jay would never appreciate me, and scared if we could not all survive. I hated Cronus I hated death. I hate that I was one of the chosen seven. I didn\'t want to be here. I wanted to be back home for my mother and father. Yet I knew I wouldn\'t be complete without Jay.\n\n I hated it when life was confusing and never made sense. I hated destiny at this exhausting moment.\n\n I felt Jay\'s warm breath against mine. His warm broad hands lifted my chin so my wet eyes met his.\n\nI wanted to feel safe and let him make everything feel better again. Take me away to a happy place. I knew this was a happy place but wouldn\'t let it.\nHis arms slowly wrapped around mine, as I would not let my gaze be taken away from his.\n\nI felt a tickling wet strand of water drop down my cheek. He watched it with caring eyes. It slowly reached half way down my round cheek. He leaned in and kissed it off.\n\n\"Don\'t cry Theresa.\" He said with his kind words and soothing voice.\n\nHe held me in his arms. And whispered in my ear.\n\n\"Don\'t cry.\"\n\nMy head rested atop on his strong shoulders and my eyes stung trying to hold back tears. They widened and stretched as I starred blankly at my wall.\n\nHe made me safe; he made me know I had good friends that cared much about me. \n\n\n\n\nEspecially him.\n\nR/R