Inspired by Mangses Schu's. Also, there should be a warning category for complete and utter crack.
Schuldig growled irritably. Ken was three aisles - three aisles! - away over in the sports section with the rest of the sneakers and Schuldig could still hear him.
"Aw man, no, don't walk away, no. I gotta get out of here, go running, please... buy me, man, buy me. Come /on/."
On the row across from him, with the men's classy dress shoes, Crawford rearranged his laces neatly. "Patience Schuldig, someone will buy him soon enough," he said, attempting to placate Schuldig before he broke down and screamed out across the store for all the other shoes to hear. His telepath was embarrassing enough under normal circumstances. And one head-ache inducing, screaming match between him and Aya - five aisles away with the sturdy military surplus boots - a week was enough.
To his side, Yohji snorted indelicately, entirely unbefitting for a pair of strappy, heeled, glittering gold sandals, and if ever Schuldig had seen a pair of shoes that screamed 'fuck me, I'm easy', Yohji was /it/. "You aren't a precog anymore, remember, Mr. Pair of Boring Black Shoes." Yohji reminded him, flicking his sexy little straps and causing Crawford to curl his tongues in annoyance.
It could be worse, Schuldig sighed, neatly tucking his shapely red heels closer together. At least he was fucking gorgeous.