In this chapter the whole gang go the beach and get into all kind of michief and mishaps & its really good so pls R&R J/T & A/A
(#) ClassoftheTitans_fan 2007-01-24 05:22:42 PMlol sooo sweet and hot!!1 ahaha herry...
its just like my story where Jay saves her from drowning. lol. I liked this chap good job!!
Author's responseHi i just wanna tell you that i'm sorry if my story seems similar to yours and that i totally DID NOT! copy it from yours cos i'm not like that and i really appreciate ur reviews & umm yeah..
(#) Group_ hug 2007-01-24 10:31:06 PMStar:OMG this story is da bomb!
MSNaddict:for once i actually agree with star this story rox
irox:agree with the above nothing else 2 say
sparkle:wat can I say? they said it already it rox!
Group_hug:wow this is such a good story that my whole team agrees with each other that just shopws u how good it is keep updating
(#) Alora 2007-02-10 06:01:32 AMGemma! Hey. OK, first thing, gooood idea. Second thing, for someone who reads so much, where's the proper punctuation, love?
In the first chapter there were NO paragraphs with the speaking and all that. You know you have to go to a new line every new person speaking right? I think you do coz I saw that in the second chapter.
Another thing, you need more than just conversation to make a story. Do you understand what I mean? Like, you need to add in sentences that describe action of the characters. You have some, but I personally think you need more.
And you have heaps of chatspeak and typos in there, so you need to go back and edit it. Also, at the end of the second chapter you were talking in first person, whereas the rest of the story was in third person. You may have done that accidently, coz I know I do all the time, but if you haven't, just know that you shouldn't. I don't think that sentence made any sense... Whatever. I hope it didn't sound mean. It wasn't meant to. I don't think it did.
Nevermind, I'm confusing myself now. AND YOU KEEP IMING ME! STOP IT GOD DAMN YOU! OMG! TICK TOCK YOURSELF! Lol.
Anyways. I really like the story. Everything above will just help to make the writing better. The storyline is FANTASTIC! Lol.
Haha love ya, Gem.