After loosing everything he loved the most, Pierre had been forced to play the very last show with Simple Plan just because they had no other option of lead singer in that moment, but what could ha...
Well, anyway, even though I'm already fired I still have to play in tonight's show like nothing happened. Adam already scheduled an interview for me in the next week and I'll tell the press that I'm leaving Simple Plan for personal reasons. After that, the guys will start looking for a new lead singer. The voice on Simple Plan's second album won't be mine.
You know, it hurts to leave Simple Plan now. I love this band and I spent 5 years of my life working to get this band somewhere. All by sudden, I just give my place to some other guy that wasn't there when everything began, that didn't work as hard as I did and that doesn't love this band as much as I do. I didn't want to loose Simple Plan but, thanks to me, I did.
In one day only I had lost everything I loved the most and the desperation I was feeling was worse than anything I've ever felt before. I had spent the whole day long crying and didn't get to sleep at all so, in that night, I had 5 of those pills. What damage could it cause? It's the one last time so I'll probably be okay. I'll be okay, right? Well, probably.
It was 8:40 p.m., 20 minutes before the show and I was alone in the dressing room. The guys were testing their instruments, something that normally takes around 15 minutes. The same 15 minutes I take to have the pills. It's funny they never realized I've been having those pills as long as I change from a completely tired and beat up guy to the same full of energy guy that I used to be a few months from now in a matter of seconds, but I'm glad they didn't. I can tell they know there's something wrong, but they have no idea how wrong.
Well, in that same meanwhile, I realized there was a knife over the table of the dressing room. At first, I didn't give it too much of attention but, as time went by, what that knife was offering me seemed to be exactly what I needed. It was going to be the solution of all of my problems. I would meet Jessie, I wouldn't have to deal with loosing Simple Plan and I wouldn't have to hurt my mom by telling her about everything I did to myself and to the people around me. That was it, I was going to do this. I stood up from the couch and slowly approached that knife, like appreciating the very last moments of my life. In a matter of seconds, I had that knife over my wrist and was about to finish what I started when I felt a strong hand grabbing mine.
"Don't you dare!" Yelled Seb taking that knife away from me with much more strength I always credited him for having "Are you completely out of your mind? What's wrong with you, man? Can't we leave you alone for one second only?"
"That's the most stupid shit you ever tried to do, you know?" Shouted David interrupting me "Have you ever considered what we were going to feel? Or how we were supposed to tell your family about that? What's the problem with you?"
"You know what it is." I replied
"Jessica?" asked Chuck
"And Simple Plan." I replied
"Pierre, we can understand that what happened with Jessica is being hard on you, still, you know you can count on us for everything and that we'll help you out to get through this. But, Simple Plan..." started Chuck "You just don't have to worry about it. Adam can't just think he owns us. Just calm down and wait. In one week you'll be our lead singer again."
"The way you say it makes it looks so easy." I replied
"But it is easy." He said "To get the lead singer of the band to quit when the band just reached the top won't do good to Adam's career and he knows that, this is why I think he's just trying to scare you. Asides, even if he's not, you have fans, Pierre. They won't be like `Hey, Pierre quitted on Simple Plan! Well, whatever, too bad for him. What's for dinner?' and you can be sure about that. They won't accept another lead singer `cause they like you and to go against the fans is waste of time and money."
"Hope you're right, Chuck"
"You'll see I am."
It was in that exactly same moment that I felt the consequences of having those whole bunch of pills. My stomach started burning like hell and I started feeling so dizzy that I had to sit down and hold my head in between my hands while my breathing started getting heavier and heavier.
"Pierre, are you okay?" asked Jeff concerned
"Yeah. I'll be better in a few."
"Okay, think I'll get you some water." He replied
"No, please, don't give that to me or I think I'll throw up what I have left in my stomach."
"What did you say?" shouted Chuck
"Oh, Gosh, nothing. I said nothing." I replied wanting to escape from what I almost ended up telling them
"Yes, you did." Said David "Why do you think you're gonna throw up if you have some water? Have you been doing this frequently?"
"Uh, no, I...I haven't. I'm just not feeling that good today but I'll be better by the morning."
"I don't know, Pierre. You have been strange recently." Said Seb "Is there something you're not telling us?"
"Are you sure about this, Pierre?" asked Jeff "We can't remember last time we saw you eating."
"Well, it was 15 minutes ago when you went to test your instruments. I ate an apple."
"Oh, really? This is funny `cause when we left here there were 5 apples over the table and now there are still 5 apples over the table." Stated David
I didn't know what answer to give after that. David really caught me, but I couldn't tell them what was happening to me. They would be just too worried and I didn't want that. They didn't deserve it, it was my problem. I created it so I should deal with it all by myself. Still, I didn't know what excuse to make up, but I've been saved by a lady opening the door.
"Simple Plan, 40 seconds for you to take the stage."
"Let's go, guys!" I shouted having a pretty descent excuse not to answer the question and rushing to the stage as they just followed
Well, I guess I hadn't been able to tell yet the coolest part of that very last show I was going to play with them: Adam decided the order of the songs. Everything would start with "I'd do anything"; then "Meet you there"; then, we would show them a little bit of the second album playing "Everytime". If I don't start crying in the first 3 songs and runaway from the stage, I guess the rest of the show won't suck too much.
But, thankfully, the songs went by, the show was over and I had been able to handle it pretty fine, even though I knew Adam wanted it to be a complete disaster. It was 10 p.m., we were returning to the dressing room to take our baths and to change our clothes. We were ready to leave, but...
"Pierre, what's the matter now?" asked Jeff
"I just can't find my wallet anywhere." I replied
"Well, there are 5 bodyguards at the door, so no one stole it. It has to be somewhere in this room." Stated Seb what I already knew
"Yeah, I know. I just have to find it."
"Well, we're tired. May we get going to the tour bus and wait for you?" asked Chuck
"Sure. I'll be right there."
"Okay, see you later, Pierre." Said David innocently and not even knowing there wouldn't be later
"See you." I said as they closed the door and left
And that was the very last time I saw them. If I only knew that I would be missing them so much today or what was going to happen to me in a few, I wouldn't let them go. I spent 30 minutes alone in that room looking for my wallet, until I heard someone coming in. I didn't mind to turn around and check that out as long as I though it was one of my friends, but it wasn't. Soon, something really painful and hard hit my head and two days after that I woke up here and started remembering about this whole story.
This is pretty much of what happened to me in the past 5 years. Will I be able to find out now why I'm alone here and why someone had done that? Well, and, if I do, will it be enough to set myself free from here?
Well, whatever, I just have to believe that's the solution `cause if it isn't, I just don't know what else to do.