Harry's meeting with King Ragnok has a lot of consequences, for Harry as well as the goblins.
- Oh for fuck sake. Why in the hell did you need to give him a bloody katana. Its stupid, Its pointless, Its cliche, Its out of place, and most of all, Its simply a sign of a groupy giving into Japanamania.
The fi was ok apart from that. Unfortunately that katana spoilt the whole thing. Really, why, why, would a wizard, you know, someone that can use magic, need a sword? Magic works...well...magic. It can do anything. Why in the name of whatever deity you believe in would he need a SWORD?
And if, for some strange reason, he does need a sword. Why would it be a katana? He is the head of 3 ancient British wizarding pureblooded families. If he was going to get a sword out a family vault, it would be a broad sword of some description, a sword of fine BRITISH history, not JAPANESE. To have a JAPANESE sword in side a vault belonging to a proud pureblooded BRITISH family, is stupid, and shows simply that you are willing to do anything you possibly can to have Harry turn into something one would expect to see in some sort of bloody Japanese anime or manga.
Its a pity, the story had promise, but you HAD to wreck it.
- Interesting story.
I like the concept of the Goblin Isle.
One criticism, you have two chapters now and I have yet to see a physical discription of the Daphne and Tracy.
Are they tall, short, blonde, brunette, redhead, buxom, flatchested, leggy, voluptuous, WHAT? They are secondary characters in canon and as such not much in the way of background or looks is given to them, so you have to fill in for them.
Can't wait to see how the Order handles learning about the new Harry. Like the way you had him brief his friends before Dumbles could give them his spin on what was happening with Harry.
Should be interesting to see if the Order gets told the hole truth and then what trickles down to the 'children'. Maybe Hermione will begin to understand when she finds out how much the adults have been shading events.
Liked the little part with Luna, while I am glad you are against Ginny, I am usually fond of Luna with Harry if he needs a third wife.
Liked the concept of other places than the Chamber that Slytherin left in the castle.
More soon please.
- I love it! Harry with 2 Slytherin girls, Flitwick enthusiastic, McG on his side and old Dumble proclaiming Harry goes dark... I am really looking forward to the final reaction of the other 5...
...and you have to admit, without some severe Dumble bashing this story wouldn't be as much fun ;-))
Please continue like you started and you will have another fan!
- What a great second chapter;
Voldemort was a fool to try and make Harry his son, now that is coming to bate him in his ass big time.
So Harry is a honorary member of the Goblin Nation, nice. I love that Harry shock King Ragnok, by giving him the land 'Ashwind Isle' as long as Harry and his two wives are alord to live in the Slytherin Manor and the permission to walk the lands.
I like this bet 'At the Slytherin table, his two girlfriends rose and joined his side once they were in the entrance hall. The teachers were about to order them back, but one look of Harry made them shut up, even Snape.' Not many can say that they shut Snape up. I too like Dumbledore looking confused.
And there is a difrance between bring Dark and bring evil. One can be a Dark Wizard, and still be good, just like someone can be light and still be evil.
So 'til next time, keep up the great work and update soon.