fulfilling their loneliness is a habit they just can't kick ..
"Just for tonight, Patrick" You breathe heavily as his lips crash against your own in hunger and desperation. Mumbling incoherently in agreement, he understands the conditions, leading you to the stairs that you have ascended so many times before; the stairs you have descended on so many nights like tonight.
Treading up the staircase, he takes your hand to lead the way; the feeling is the same, but the situation couldn't be any different, and you scold yourself for believing that it had felt the same. As you reach his bedroom, a bedroom you had once shared, you don't have the time to take in the environment before your lips are once again attached to his, longing for the feeling you've deprived yourself of for so long now; but subconsciously you know that it's the same, the same feeling and the same smell, it never changes, he never changes.
Knocking you off of your equilibrium with his kiss, your knees grow weak and you find yourself collapsing to the bed, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him down with you, desperate to save the contact you share. Holding him close by the grasp you have on his clothing, you never break the contact your lips hold and he wastes no time at all, ushering you out of your clothing as you struggle to unbuckle his pants, your fingers fumbling with every attempt. After all of the years you spent together, sex is routine, everything about the two of you is routine, routine enough to convince you to run in the first place but routine enough to bring you back time and time again.
Trailing butterfly kisses along your collar bone, he breaks away only long enough to shimmy out of his jeans before crawling back over you, taking control, unlike his usual sexual demeanor. Striving for the taste of you to return to him he latches back on, but you don't mind as his hands roam your body, his arousal obvious against your left thigh. Registering laughter somewhere inside of your mind, you can't help but find amusement in his desperation and new found domination, wondering how long it's been since he's expressed these suppressed frustrations, if not with another person, than at least privately, alone in the dead of night.
"I've missed you so much" Escapes his lips in a breathy sigh as he plunges inside of you, your body wiggling and writhing under the weight of his frame. In your mind you know, a part of you, if not most of you agrees with him and shares the same feeling, but the emotions are the last thing you want running through your thought process as he thrusts almost violently into you, filling every void that you've held since you had seen him last.
Gently placing kisses on his neck, you clutch onto his body as he fulfills your every guilty please, his name passing over your lips in a deep moan of satisfaction before you decide that it isn't enough. Momentarily impressed with his new found confidence and domination in the bedroom, you've had enough, and you proceed to push him off of you, ready to take charge. Climbing on top of him and allowing re-entry from his new position below you, a smile forms across his lips, a contagious smile that spreads to your own. Shifting your body weight you push yourself down as far as you can balancing your hands on his chest for leverage as you rotate in every way your body will possibly let you, allowing his name to crash through the room once again in a satisfied sigh, biting your lip to control your exuberance. Clutching your hips he holds you to him as you rotate, as you send him crashing over the edge in the same fashion you have become accustom to, his fingers digging so hard into your hip bones the bruises lasted longer than ever before. Rocking swiftly only moments more, you join him in sharing the feeling that you haven't provoked in each other in longer than you would like to think about.
Collapsing almost breathlessly to the bed beside him, you agree that it was by far the best you've ever had, with him, with anyone. Wrapping you in his warm, content embrace you can't help but notice his eyes glazed over with satisfaction and happiness and you give in to his touch, snuggling closer, your face buried in the nape of his neck places gentle kisses along the sensitive nerve abundant skin.
"Rachel?" Groggy exhaustion fills his voice as he calls out to you, replying with a groan you acknowledge his attempt at getting your attention.
"You'll never know how much I appreciate this" Is all he can think to say as your brush stray stands of hair out of his eyes, the sparkle in his eyes causing your breath to catch in your throat, and you swallow your emotions, hard and nod your head in understanding.
Feeling a smile forcing its way through, you allow it to form on your lips; you're happy for a moment in time, this serene moment that you share with an all too familiar man in an all too familiar bed. Happiness soon proves to be a momentary illusion as morning draws near, you've yet to fall asleep though he had passed out hours ago; your mind won't stop and the thoughts won't cease, you're afraid. As the darkness outside of the window begins to fade to light, you wiggle out of bed as quietly as possible, dressing in the dark, in the complete silence, the silence that beckons your conscious to climb back into bed. But you know that you can't, even if your heart agrees, your legs and movements tell you otherwise as you descend the all too familiar stairs to the front door.
Blankets of snow engulf your surroundings as you climb into your car; it was a set up and you know it, his friends wanted to make him happy, and you had to admit you missed his company, you missed his smell and the way his hair fell into his eyes, the glisten in his eyes and his presence in your life. Fighting back the feelings you can feel rising in your heart, you've grown to believe it isn't meant to be, justifying your reasons for leaving him in the first place, and for leaving each encounter at the crack of daylight each morning. Waking up alone, he'll roll over in bed to realize the bed is empty and cold on your side, what has always been your side; but with a sigh he'll remember that you'll be back, you always come back. Pulling onto the road from the slick snow covered driveway, you conclude that the emotional turmoil it will cause for the next few days was worth it, no matter how you feel it is worth it, you always held a severe fear of spending Valentine's Day alone and he was the only one who knew that about you, so why would this year have been any different than before.