Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > A sense of function but a disregard
Part Eleven: Can't you feel it rolling off your lips, tensing up your shoulders
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AN: Big ups to Christine for being an idea ping pong buddy. Thanks, Pinky!
Part Eleven: Can't you feel it rolling off your lips, tensing up your shoulders
Well, if it's love (it's love)
Make it hurt (I deserve it)
Cautiously, Patrick opened the door once more, seeing Destiny differently. Destiny thought talking to Andy was going to fix things, it would make her feel better, but it hadn't. She was standing in front of Patrick and her mind was still reeling over Andy. Why was he so important to her? She didn't understand and she wasn't exactly sure she wanted to understand it either.
"Patrick," she breathed out. He nodded and stepped aside, letting her into the heat once more. She studied him, from his white socks, up his sweatpants, over his t-shirt and to his glasses. Suddenly she felt nauseous, puking sounded like the best idea. She dropped her bag and coat, and bolted for the bathroom down the hall.
Patrick watched her dash off with no feeling he could recall. He heard her wretch inside the bathroom and shook his head, going into the kitchen for a glass of water.
Destiny sat back and leaned against the shower door, taking deep breaths. Patrick had never made her feel this nervous before, she was feeling completely abandoned, she was sure there was no way Patrick was ever going to love her again and she as sure there was no was she was ever going to be able to love him again like she did before, and it was making her sick. The first time she ever felt like she could truly be with someone for the test of her life and it was impossible. Slowly she stood up and walked to the stairs making her way to Patrick's bedroom. She walked into the bathroom and grabbed some toothpaste, rubbing it on her tongue and teeth. She shivered, cold in her t-shirt now that she had tossed her coat off so she walked around the corner into Patrick's closet to borrow a hoodie, she didn't think he'd mind. She walked to the back and grabbed a plain black one and was walking out when she noticed a few clothes hastily tossed in front of what appeared to be a fist size hole in his wall. Destiny zipped up the hoodie and felt her stomach acids churn again, running straight for the toilet. As she took a deep breath, she tried to remember the last time she had upset herself this badly and realized she never had. She was puking her face off over Andy Hurley and Patrick Stumph...how ridiculous could this get?
Slowly, she stood and trudged down the stairs after wiping more toothpaste on her tongue and walked towards the kitchen, hearing Patrick banging around. She peered around the corner to see him looking through cabinets and she giggled softly, he was adorable when he was frustrated. He stopped when he heard her laugh and turned to her.
"I have nothing to eat in here," he said quietly. She smiled at him softly, over come with guilt and frustration.
"Patrick...I..." she began stepping towards him. He shook his head.
"Don't," was his reply as he handed her the glass of water. She took a sip and stared at him, and then sat the glass down.
"Do you love me?" he asked her. Destiny felt her eyes well up. She nodded, never tearing her eyes away from his. He sighed, "Then what's the problem? Why did you have to do this to me? You promised," he said, looking down at his feet. Destiny watched him, intently searching for the right words but found none. The truth was, she has no idea why she did it. Patrick didn't do anything wrong, Andy was just...a test she failed. That was all...she had failed.
"I'm sorry, baby. It wasn't you and I broke that promise I made to you and you don't deserve me. You need someone who will treat you right, who will stay faithful to you despite what she may be feeling for someone else..." she said. Patrick didn't lift his eyes from the floor.
"Stop saying that I don't deserve you because it doesn't make a difference if I do or not, Destiny. I love you. As ridiculous as it is, I still love you and want nothing more than just you. This past month as been so..." he stopped, pulling his gaze from the floor to the wide, sad eyes of his ex-girlfriend. She knew what he meant. She reached forward and took his right hand in her left. He quickly pulled his hand away and Destiny frowned.
"Patrick..." but he shook his head once more.
"Leave," he replied, backing away from her and walking in the direction of the living room. Destiny stood rooted to her spot in the kitchen. Leave? Destiny shook her head. She wasn't leaving again. He blamed her for running away last time, telling her that was just how she dealt with her problems but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction this time. She walked around the other side of the staircase and to the office where Patrick had placed himself at the computer.
"I am not leaving this time. If we love each other like we say we do, why can't we try to fix this, right here and now?" she questioned him. Patrick stood up from his computer to face her.
"How do you plan on going about doing that, exactly? You've made it perfectly clear to me that you can't commit and that you can't keep your pants on," he replied to her. Destiny took a deep breath to calm herself. Patrick tended to speak irrationally when he got upset, so she was letting his snide comments go.
"I don't know exactly how to prove it to you, but I swear I'm over Andy. We just talked and we both know that each other was a mistake okay? I love you and I just want another chance. He's out of my life and I can't even express how sorry I am. I'll do anything to prove it to you," she said, approaching him slowly, giving him her best smile. Patrick stood with his arms crossed, trying hard to let her smile melt him, but he couldn't help it. Why she always had to be so sexy and gorgeous was beyond him. He didn't blame Andy for wanting to be with her, but he did blame Andy for acting on it, or at least for not saying no to her advances. She continued to stand in front of him, smiling very softly, watching as his harsh glare began to edge away. He let his arms fall to his sides and was about to reach to her for a hug when he phone began ringing.
Destiny snarled at the noise, but reached in her pocket to see who it was and her face fell immediately.
Andy.
Involuntarily, she glanced up at Patrick wide eyed who immediately crossed his arms again. Destiny pressed ok and brought the phone to her ear.
"Yeah?" she said, trying to sound casual.
"Hey, I need to say something to you," he said softly. Destiny continued to stare at Patrick; she could feel her face turning red. He shook his head and pulled his hat lower over his eyes
"Yeah out of your life, huh?" He said, turning his back on her and sitting back down in front of his computer.
"What's wrong? Are you okay? Where are you?" Andy asked her, clearly aware of the silence she returned to him.
Softly she replied, "Patrick...I'm at Patrick's." Patrick huffed loudly at the screen then turned back and stood up, feeling his temper rise again. He pointed out the door
"I told you to leave 10 minutes ago. We could have saved you the embarrassment and me the mental damage by thinking for one second you were telling the truth. Get out, Destiny!" he yelled at her. She let the hurt show on her face and felt completely torn. Hang up on whatever Andy needed to say or stay by Patrick. The choice should have been obvious, but it wasn't. Then Andy began speaking.
"Dest, I really need to tell you this. I tried to get it out of my system. I did. But the more I was telling myself not to think about you, the more you consumed my mind. What does that mean?" She let her mouth drop slightly, and stood still staring at Patrick who continued to point her out the door.
"Think about it Destiny. You know you've been doing the same thing. You know you don't want to forget it. Because I know I don't. Can he say that? Can he tell you that no matter what he does, you consume his mind? No, because you know you are always going to be second in his life. You know it, I know it, and even the idiot Wentz himself knows it. And Patrick knows that to. So why are you going to sit there and let him lie to you when he tells you you are the most important thing in his life, when you know it's a lie? I don't need this band, Dest. I can do a million and one other things. This isn't my EVERYTHING. Yes, I love this band with my whole heart, but it doesn't consume my life. And you know, I would always out you before any of this celebrity thing. Before any of this 'rock star duty'. And you know Patrick needs this band. It's almost all he's ever known, it's the only life he's lived since leaving high school, he wouldn't know how else to be," Andy spouted off. Destiny didn't hide her surprise over his words, but she also couldn't help thinking about how true they were. She put him on mute and brought the phone to her side, staring half-lidded at Patrick.
"If you can stand there right now and tell me I am the most important thing in the world to you, then I'll stay. I'll do everything in my power to make sure you and I work correctly," she said. Patrick nodded.
"And if I can't," he questioned. Destiny smirked.
"Then you're not the boyfriend I thought you were, Patrick. You aren't the man I fell in love with," she finished. Patrick returned her glare.
"Then go ahead. Think that, I told you earlier then you will never, and I mean never, be more important than my job, with or without you, I still have my band. I still have my career. It's always going to be there for me when you can't be." Destiny nodded, she was satisfied that Andy was right after all, if she wasn't important enough for Patrick to give her all that she needed in a relationship, then so be it, he obviously won't miss her when she's gone.
"So that means when I'm right in front of you on someone else's arm, you won't miss me? You won't wish that was you because you have your music? Then fine, Patrick. Kiss me goodbye," she replied. Patrick's heart sunk to his feet. He didn't want this. He didn't want to see her around with Andy when she should've been his, but he was stubborn and he wasn't going to take it back that easily.
"Fine. See ya," he said. Destiny grinned at him through her pain, she wanted him to see her triumphant, not hurt. She turned her back on him and brought the phone back to her ear.
"Andy? I'll meet you in an hour," she said and then hung up, still feeling Patrick's cold green eyes on her back...
****************
I wanted you for nothing more
Then hating you for what you were
If that's what you wanted to hear
Part Eleven: Can't you feel it rolling off your lips, tensing up your shoulders
Well, if it's love (it's love)
Make it hurt (I deserve it)
Cautiously, Patrick opened the door once more, seeing Destiny differently. Destiny thought talking to Andy was going to fix things, it would make her feel better, but it hadn't. She was standing in front of Patrick and her mind was still reeling over Andy. Why was he so important to her? She didn't understand and she wasn't exactly sure she wanted to understand it either.
"Patrick," she breathed out. He nodded and stepped aside, letting her into the heat once more. She studied him, from his white socks, up his sweatpants, over his t-shirt and to his glasses. Suddenly she felt nauseous, puking sounded like the best idea. She dropped her bag and coat, and bolted for the bathroom down the hall.
Patrick watched her dash off with no feeling he could recall. He heard her wretch inside the bathroom and shook his head, going into the kitchen for a glass of water.
Destiny sat back and leaned against the shower door, taking deep breaths. Patrick had never made her feel this nervous before, she was feeling completely abandoned, she was sure there was no way Patrick was ever going to love her again and she as sure there was no was she was ever going to be able to love him again like she did before, and it was making her sick. The first time she ever felt like she could truly be with someone for the test of her life and it was impossible. Slowly she stood up and walked to the stairs making her way to Patrick's bedroom. She walked into the bathroom and grabbed some toothpaste, rubbing it on her tongue and teeth. She shivered, cold in her t-shirt now that she had tossed her coat off so she walked around the corner into Patrick's closet to borrow a hoodie, she didn't think he'd mind. She walked to the back and grabbed a plain black one and was walking out when she noticed a few clothes hastily tossed in front of what appeared to be a fist size hole in his wall. Destiny zipped up the hoodie and felt her stomach acids churn again, running straight for the toilet. As she took a deep breath, she tried to remember the last time she had upset herself this badly and realized she never had. She was puking her face off over Andy Hurley and Patrick Stumph...how ridiculous could this get?
Slowly, she stood and trudged down the stairs after wiping more toothpaste on her tongue and walked towards the kitchen, hearing Patrick banging around. She peered around the corner to see him looking through cabinets and she giggled softly, he was adorable when he was frustrated. He stopped when he heard her laugh and turned to her.
"I have nothing to eat in here," he said quietly. She smiled at him softly, over come with guilt and frustration.
"Patrick...I..." she began stepping towards him. He shook his head.
"Don't," was his reply as he handed her the glass of water. She took a sip and stared at him, and then sat the glass down.
"Do you love me?" he asked her. Destiny felt her eyes well up. She nodded, never tearing her eyes away from his. He sighed, "Then what's the problem? Why did you have to do this to me? You promised," he said, looking down at his feet. Destiny watched him, intently searching for the right words but found none. The truth was, she has no idea why she did it. Patrick didn't do anything wrong, Andy was just...a test she failed. That was all...she had failed.
"I'm sorry, baby. It wasn't you and I broke that promise I made to you and you don't deserve me. You need someone who will treat you right, who will stay faithful to you despite what she may be feeling for someone else..." she said. Patrick didn't lift his eyes from the floor.
"Stop saying that I don't deserve you because it doesn't make a difference if I do or not, Destiny. I love you. As ridiculous as it is, I still love you and want nothing more than just you. This past month as been so..." he stopped, pulling his gaze from the floor to the wide, sad eyes of his ex-girlfriend. She knew what he meant. She reached forward and took his right hand in her left. He quickly pulled his hand away and Destiny frowned.
"Patrick..." but he shook his head once more.
"Leave," he replied, backing away from her and walking in the direction of the living room. Destiny stood rooted to her spot in the kitchen. Leave? Destiny shook her head. She wasn't leaving again. He blamed her for running away last time, telling her that was just how she dealt with her problems but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction this time. She walked around the other side of the staircase and to the office where Patrick had placed himself at the computer.
"I am not leaving this time. If we love each other like we say we do, why can't we try to fix this, right here and now?" she questioned him. Patrick stood up from his computer to face her.
"How do you plan on going about doing that, exactly? You've made it perfectly clear to me that you can't commit and that you can't keep your pants on," he replied to her. Destiny took a deep breath to calm herself. Patrick tended to speak irrationally when he got upset, so she was letting his snide comments go.
"I don't know exactly how to prove it to you, but I swear I'm over Andy. We just talked and we both know that each other was a mistake okay? I love you and I just want another chance. He's out of my life and I can't even express how sorry I am. I'll do anything to prove it to you," she said, approaching him slowly, giving him her best smile. Patrick stood with his arms crossed, trying hard to let her smile melt him, but he couldn't help it. Why she always had to be so sexy and gorgeous was beyond him. He didn't blame Andy for wanting to be with her, but he did blame Andy for acting on it, or at least for not saying no to her advances. She continued to stand in front of him, smiling very softly, watching as his harsh glare began to edge away. He let his arms fall to his sides and was about to reach to her for a hug when he phone began ringing.
Destiny snarled at the noise, but reached in her pocket to see who it was and her face fell immediately.
Andy.
Involuntarily, she glanced up at Patrick wide eyed who immediately crossed his arms again. Destiny pressed ok and brought the phone to her ear.
"Yeah?" she said, trying to sound casual.
"Hey, I need to say something to you," he said softly. Destiny continued to stare at Patrick; she could feel her face turning red. He shook his head and pulled his hat lower over his eyes
"Yeah out of your life, huh?" He said, turning his back on her and sitting back down in front of his computer.
"What's wrong? Are you okay? Where are you?" Andy asked her, clearly aware of the silence she returned to him.
Softly she replied, "Patrick...I'm at Patrick's." Patrick huffed loudly at the screen then turned back and stood up, feeling his temper rise again. He pointed out the door
"I told you to leave 10 minutes ago. We could have saved you the embarrassment and me the mental damage by thinking for one second you were telling the truth. Get out, Destiny!" he yelled at her. She let the hurt show on her face and felt completely torn. Hang up on whatever Andy needed to say or stay by Patrick. The choice should have been obvious, but it wasn't. Then Andy began speaking.
"Dest, I really need to tell you this. I tried to get it out of my system. I did. But the more I was telling myself not to think about you, the more you consumed my mind. What does that mean?" She let her mouth drop slightly, and stood still staring at Patrick who continued to point her out the door.
"Think about it Destiny. You know you've been doing the same thing. You know you don't want to forget it. Because I know I don't. Can he say that? Can he tell you that no matter what he does, you consume his mind? No, because you know you are always going to be second in his life. You know it, I know it, and even the idiot Wentz himself knows it. And Patrick knows that to. So why are you going to sit there and let him lie to you when he tells you you are the most important thing in his life, when you know it's a lie? I don't need this band, Dest. I can do a million and one other things. This isn't my EVERYTHING. Yes, I love this band with my whole heart, but it doesn't consume my life. And you know, I would always out you before any of this celebrity thing. Before any of this 'rock star duty'. And you know Patrick needs this band. It's almost all he's ever known, it's the only life he's lived since leaving high school, he wouldn't know how else to be," Andy spouted off. Destiny didn't hide her surprise over his words, but she also couldn't help thinking about how true they were. She put him on mute and brought the phone to her side, staring half-lidded at Patrick.
"If you can stand there right now and tell me I am the most important thing in the world to you, then I'll stay. I'll do everything in my power to make sure you and I work correctly," she said. Patrick nodded.
"And if I can't," he questioned. Destiny smirked.
"Then you're not the boyfriend I thought you were, Patrick. You aren't the man I fell in love with," she finished. Patrick returned her glare.
"Then go ahead. Think that, I told you earlier then you will never, and I mean never, be more important than my job, with or without you, I still have my band. I still have my career. It's always going to be there for me when you can't be." Destiny nodded, she was satisfied that Andy was right after all, if she wasn't important enough for Patrick to give her all that she needed in a relationship, then so be it, he obviously won't miss her when she's gone.
"So that means when I'm right in front of you on someone else's arm, you won't miss me? You won't wish that was you because you have your music? Then fine, Patrick. Kiss me goodbye," she replied. Patrick's heart sunk to his feet. He didn't want this. He didn't want to see her around with Andy when she should've been his, but he was stubborn and he wasn't going to take it back that easily.
"Fine. See ya," he said. Destiny grinned at him through her pain, she wanted him to see her triumphant, not hurt. She turned her back on him and brought the phone back to her ear.
"Andy? I'll meet you in an hour," she said and then hung up, still feeling Patrick's cold green eyes on her back...
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I wanted you for nothing more
Then hating you for what you were
If that's what you wanted to hear
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